|More Equal Than Others
Author: Anthony Tesla PM
I guess it will eventually happen...Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 658 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 02-08-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2773050
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS
It was the year 2040, and finally, we were all equal…sort of…let me explain: My name is Mark, and I work for the government; our big chiefs implemented a new policy in order to improve the progress of "vulnerable social groups" or as we used to called them: minorities. Don't get me wrong, because I don't have anything against African-Americans, Hispanics, women, gays, lesbians and everything else, but sometimes the policy was a little too odd, until some "fortunate" day…
— Ladies and gentleman! —our boss, Mister Andersen exclaimed that morning in the office — I'm glad to inform that according to our policy of "vulnerable social group improvement", I have to announce that five members of our family have been promoted!
— Again? — I thought in that moment, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one.
— Another crappy promotion… — whispered Abe, the only friend I got left in the office
— Be nice Abe… — I told him
— I'm sorry, it's just I'm a little tired of this
— Of course you are, we all are! But just calm down, just…let's go through this, alright?
Our boss spelled the names of the colleagues we knew all along would be the chosen ones: the Black guy, the Hispanic guy, two women and a "gay" friend.
— Wait…Charlie is gay? — I asked when I saw him with the rest of the "fortunate" names.
— No, he just said that, you know, in order to get that promotion…
— I see…not a bad idea…
But before Mister Andersen could sing his traditional homage to "I'll Stand by You" (I don't know why people keep singing that damn song 70 years later…) he received an urgent call from our big chiefs.
— Can you excuse me a moment?
He went to his office to attend the calling, with a very surprising new:
— I'm sorry what? Are you serious? Alright…I guess it's OK, but…
And then he returned, bringing a very good or bad new, your opinion may vary about that:
— OK, I'm sorry, but I just received new information about the last census and…it seems that there is a new minority, I mean! "Vulnerable social group" that is a lot more needed of help than any other…
— What you mean, Mister Andersen? — One of our colleagues asked him.
— Well…it seems that the white straight protestant male is no longer the majority of this country and he has been struggling to find a place in this society, so all the government efforts in the program are going to be destined to improve their living condition
— But…we still have our promotions, right? — Charlie asked
— I'm afraid not…sorry Charlie…
— But, that's not fair, I mean…
— Shut up and listen you bigot! Can't you see that these poor people can't stand by themselves! — Our boss yelled to, well, basically every person in the office that weren't a white straight protestant male, trying to get some sympathy, but it was more like fake guilt
— So…I guess I'll have a promotion, right? — I dared to ask my boss
— Of course you will, and your pal, Abe will too; everything until you can forgive us for all the oppression to your people
— Thanks…I guess...but there is something that bugs me, boss…
— What is it Mark?
— Aren't you white straight protestant male?
— No, actually, I'm a white straight greek ortodox male
— Greek Ortodox?
— Yeah, thanks to my mom…
And by a single order, a group passed from being "oppressed" to being "helped to overcome their obstacles"; they helped us, and nobody of our group was ever hurt by the system again…sort of, but at least I can say I learnt something: all men (and women) are created equal, but some men (and women) need a little boost…