Author: itsVKEE PM
When the last tear drops fall; when there are no more porcelain dishes to be thrown. When the shards of glass cut deeper than we could ever imagine; when we are left broken inside. What are we supposed to do? Pick our hearts off the floor?Rated: Fiction T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,884 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 08-30-10 - Published: 02-09-10 - id: 2773283
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When the last tear drops fall; when there are no more porcelain dishes to be thrown. When the shards of glass cut deeper than we could ever imagine; when we are left broken inside. What are we supposed to do? Pick our hearts off the floor?
My heart was once whole. My life was once a happy place; filled with joy and laughter. That just isn't the case anymore. All that remains now is a fake smile plastered on my lips and empty heart with cuts and wounds that can never be fixed.
My name is Nancy and this is my story.
My father, Jack Byrne, passed away when I was thirteen, leaving me to take care of my younger brother and three younger sisters. My mother, Belinda Byrne was a workaholic. Concentrating on her work more than her children; she left us to fend for ourselves.
It was on one afternoon in summer of 98 when I asked my mother if I could live with my aunt in Aubrey. She looked up at me from her mountain of paperwork, looked me up and down and laughed. I asked her why it was so funny that I wanted to live with Aunt Sarah. She said I wouldn't get anywhere living with her, that I would end up as bad as Sarah herself. I stayed with my mother til I turned seventeen. By then I had thought of every reason to stay. And trust me there weren't many. There was only one reason why I was staying; for my brother and sisters. Jeremy was two years younger than me, and was a twin to Olivia. The younger two were a year apart; Jenny was five and Steph was six. With my father gone and my mother who couldn't care less about us, there weren't many options I could take but to take care of them. It was hard, taking care of four younger children who were no more than twelve years younger than yourself.
I plucked up the courage to confront my mother, but something held me back. Jeremy told me not to tell anything to her, so I didn't. Instead, I told her I was leaving. For good this time; not that I had left before, but I had wanted to so badly the first time I had told her. My mother looked up at me and sniffed then smiled. She told me to go, but on one condition. "Don't come back to me when you start crying." She said as I turned to leave. With that I left without a word stepping into big bad world of independence where anything and everything could happen in a blink of an eye.
A year had come and gone and Aunt Sarah had taken me into her home with arms wide open. It wasn't til I had finally settled in when I had made some friends that lived nearby. Drew Mathews was a boy who lived down the street and we became good friends during the time I stayed with my Aunt. We were inseparable, mostly because I didn't have many friends and Drew was nice to me.
Drew knew everything there was to know about me, and I the same for him. We were best friends for what seemed like forever. Even though I had known Drew for only a year or so, we were so close. Several times my siblings tried to contact me asking me to come back, but I knew that if I returned I would be nothing but a failure. I did not want to live under "Her" and her paperwork children.
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months turned into years. I had stayed with my aunt for three years and in those three years I had learnt more than I would have if I had stayed with my workaholic mother. It had been three years since I had last seen my family but little did I know that sooner or later everything would change.
I had been sitting on Drew's bed flicking through a magazine I had bought from the local store before making my way to his house. I stared at the frozen people looking up at me from their glossy frames and chuckled.
"What's so funny Nancy?" Drew asked as he turned to face me from his current project.
"Nothing," I mused "It's just funny that's all."
"What is it?" he grumbled as he pushed me over so he could lie down next to me.
"I don't know? I just thought it was funny." I smirked.
"Let me see," he said sighing as if it took a lot of effort to steal my magazine from me. "It's all boring." he said admiring the front cover and back in a split second.
I rolled my eyes and opened the magazine back to where I had previously been and pushed him lightly.
"Come on, I'm sick of being home. Let's go back to your place. Yours is funner."
"It's not even my place doofus," I laughed. "And funner isn't even a word." He shrugged and got up pulling me along after him. I sighed as we walked down the stairs and said goodbye to his mother.
"Come on Byrne, we got a place to crash." he grinned.
I chuckled as we walked back to my aunt's home. Our neighbourhood was small, but it wasn't that kind that would gossip over some tiny incident that happened to you for years on end. We reached my home not long after. My aunt was a photographer. She was good at it and it got her a decent pay to be able to afford her house, food and pay for bills and such but she wasn't rich, not that that mattered. My mother looked down upon her because she didn't have the luxuries in life. I never really cared about that, nor do I now.
I walked through the front door and slipped out of my shoes and left them by the front door.
"Nancy?' my aunt called from the kitchen.
"Yeah, it's me." I smiled.
"Me too!" Drew chuckled.
"Oh Drew. I'm sorry, you're too quiet. You should've said something."
"Sarah! Don't tell him that, he'll take everything to heart, and I'm positive that every time you see him he'll make as much noise as possible." I laughed as Drew and I walked into the kitchen.
I stiffened as I entered the kitchen to find someone else sitting at the dining table with my aunty. Sandy, blonde hair, slightly cropped at the back. It couldn't be anyone else except Jeremy.
He turned around and smiled at my presence. He had grown up so much. Three years had done him well. He blue eyes still smiled at me, he had gotten a lot taller now that he had gotten up to hug me.
"Nancy." he smiled. My little brother was all grown up; he wasn't the little boy I had grown up with. He wasn't a little scrawny thing anymore. He was an adult and it hurt me to realise suddenly that I had missed out on a lot. It meant more than just Jeremy growing up. It meant that I had missed out on my three younger sisters growing up too. I had always wondered what they looked like now, but it never struck me hard til now.
"Jeremy." I said stifling the tears that were eager to run down my cheeks. I hugged him and I realised what I had been missing out on for so long. "I missed you so much."
"I know. That's why I came here to see you." he smiled into my hair.
"You've really grown up haven't you?" I smiled sniffing slightly.
"Yeah," he smiled as his cheeks blushed a shade of pink. "And you are.." Jeremy chuckled at Drew who was standing behind me.
"I'm Drew." he smiled as he held out his hand. Jeremy took it and shook his hand appreciatively.
"So how long have you to been together?" Jeremy chuckled as Drew stepped away.
"What? We're not together. It's not like that." Drew and I blushed.
"Oh, right." Jeremy said sitting down.
We joined him at the small dining table and sat in an awkward silence.
"So what's been happening at home?" I winced at the word 'home'. It never really was a home to be honest; it was more of a prison where you were the jailbird --The executioner; my mother.
"Well there was everything that you missed." Jeremy smiled at me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered feeling the guilt rising in my throat. Why hadn't I had gone home when my head told me to?
"It's okay Nance," Jeremy smiled "I'll fill you in on all the stuff you missed- starting from when you left." he said slowly.
It hurt me inside when he said "starting from when you left". It was almost as if someone was mocking me. Deliberately killing me inside; pushing the knife deeper into my heart.
I stared wide eyed as he stopped not knowing where to start; from the moment I left? From the day after I left; or months of even years after that?
"Jeremy." I said quietly turning the cup in my hands on the table slowly "I don't- I don't know if I can take it."
"Nancy." He said softly "I want you to know. It's been eating me alive. Not being able to see you. I know it's been killing you too."
I looked down into my lap and licked my lips. Drew said quietly "Can I talk to you for a second,"
"Uh-sure." I nodded.
We got up and walked into the lounge room. I paced around the room as Drew eyed me cautiously.
"Nancy, you've got to talk to him. He's your brother." he said quietly as I sat next to him burying my face in my palms.
"But I know what he's going to say," I sighed "Ever wonder why I never contacted them for three years Drew. He'll just try to get me to live with mom again. I can't just pack up and leave after everything Sarah has given me and you. I can't just leave you. I mean why would I want to leave when I've got everything I ever wanted right here?'
"Nancy- I'll always love you no matter what. Even if you are on the other side of the state." he shrugged.
"Drew." I mumbled as I hugged him.
"It's okay. Just talk to him. He'll probably think otherwise." Drew smirked.
Oh yeah. My brother had thought that Drew and I were together. But if anyone else had stumbled upon our simple lives, I was sure that they'd have thought the same thing. I was always at Drew's if he wasn't constantly at my home. I was sure that Aunt Sarah had hinted at it a few times if ever so subtly.
I sighed and got up off the couch with Drew "Let's go, before I do something stupid."
Drew chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of my back. We walked back into the cosy kitchen where Sarah and Jeremy were talking quietly chuckling every now and then.
"I'm sorry," I smiled "I shouldn't have freaked out. Just please spare my feelings."
"Sure." he smiled as we sat down once more.
"So where do you want to start?" I sighed.
"Sh- should I start from the beginning?" he suggested.
"I guess that would be best."
When the last tear drops fall; when there are no more porcelain dishes to be thrown. When the shards of glass cut deeper than we could ever imagine; when we are left broken inside, what are we to do? We pick our hearts up off the floor-- and once our hearts are up off of the floor, we start again—from the very beginning.