Leh Long Fronsay

Tonight we've got a special show for you, see

Shia LaBeouf turn into a giant robot

because his little mortal body wasn't cool enough

for him, but at least now he'll get to see

what the Übermensch means. It runs on Rule of

Cool, like the new Star Wars, just watch me add

three thousand and a half extra Gungans for

automatic awesome. It's an ancient thing

that tells me about this chose chouette, makes me

sound like a totally radical super dude

badass, ready to deliver a closing Governator

style Ah'll be bahck and blow up the building.

But it's okay, I'll live because like Éowyn

against the Witch-King I am no man,

I am dynamite, and you'd better watch out,

better not cry, better not spout my Ma's

apple pie. Om nom nom it says

eating you and your little dog too, but at least

you can get away, because you don't have to

be faster than the bear, you just have to

be faster than that swarm of locusts,

famine, death, frogs, blood, jukeboxes,

Muhammad Ali and his merry men and all

the other poxes the Good Lord lays on

both your houses. So if you vill speak ze fake

French, I vill speak ze fake Eengleesh, baby,

right down to the last cow flies over the moon.