Author: WolfletteMoon PM
You know what the worst thing is about being a vamp? Because I'm having a little trouble deciding, though at the moment, it's between having to work with these idiots, all these bloody conspiracies, trying to stop a civil war and this damned shock collar!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 48 - Words: 60,306 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10-27-11 - Published: 02-18-10 - id: 2776927
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Okay, I don't usually put these so frequently, but I know I've been taking a while to update and I really should appologise. However, updates aren't likely to get more frequent right about now. I have coursework deadlines coming up after half term, which is now almost over, and I have to actually learn some stuff for my exams. Plus, I think I might try NaNoWriMo this year, which will take up a lot of my time. I'm not sure whether I should set a story in this world right here or another one I've created. However, I will try to write as much as I can. In good news, this is almost finished now. I'm coming up to 60,000 words now, and there isn't much more left for this story, but there will be a sequel at some point. And sorry about the really long A/N, too. I know you've been getting a lot of them.
Dante left just before sunrise to go and bother Kenneth. Morgan was still sat on my sofa, sulking. The unicorn was asleep on the living room floor. Unicorn, mutant? What was I even supposed to call it? I don't suppose it matters much, just so long as Morgan makes sure to clean up after it. "Aren't you supposed to be working tonight?" he asked me when he saw me drinking. See, this is one of the reasons I left Dallas. He was always yelling at me for things like this. If I want to go to work drunk, that's my business, right? "Kenneth drinks before work all the time, and nobody yells at him for it." I told him. The little fucker rolled his eyes at me. "I doubt he drinks absinth before work." he said. "And why the hell are you drinking that, anyway? I thought you were drinking vodka. It was vodka Dante got out of the cupboard, wasn't it?"
"It was. We finished it and started on the absinth."
The look on Morgan's face was epic. "Besides," I continued, "Vampires don't get drunk that easily. And I have high alcohol tolerance, anyway." The look on his face was still pretty epic. "You drank all of the vodka, and started on absinth? And you're not dead? And Dante's not dead?"
"Oh, Dante doesn't drink. He says it's immoral. I had to drink it all by myself." I told him. I wouldn't have thought it possible but the look on his face got even funnier. "You know what? Bugger it. I'm going to work." he said, got up, and left. I hadn't even realised he worked. I guess the unicorn doesn't feed itself, but still. It was hard to picture a nutjob like Morgan actually holding down a day job.
I decided to watch some TV. Unfortunately, daytime TV really sucks. Other than fantasising about eating Jeremy Kyle, I was pretty damned bored. I actually ended up going to bed early, because I didn't have anything better to do than sleep. I couldn't sleep, though. I ended up tossing and turning in my coffin for half the day. When I actually got to sleep, I was still tossing and turning, and ended up hitting my head off the side and waking myself up. Then I couldn't get back to sleep. So I went and sat in the living room and watched some more TV. The unicorn had woken up and was lying back on the sofa, watching Edrich the goldfish swimming around in his bowl.
I felt dead when I dragged myself out to work. The journalist was back, looking a little worse for wear. He had bags under his eyes, like he hadn't slept in a month, which deffinitely hadn't been there the last time I'd seen him. He looked like I felt. I felt like crap. When I got inside I pretty much collapsed onto the sofa in the staff room. The bimbo was there, oh joy, and she was talking to Flynn, who didn't look like he was paying any attention to her at all. When the bell went or the start of lesson, she scurried off to go and teach her class and I stayed half dead on the sofa. "You know what I hate?" said Flynn. "When something wonderful happens, and all people keep telling you is how sorry they are."
I'm going to guess somebody died, and they left him something in the will. That's the most wonderful thing I can think of that people would be sorry about. "So, how much did you inherit?" I asked him.
"Oh, nothing at all. I just really hated him, but I don't know what people are so sorry about." he replied. Wow, I must say, I never expected that from Flynn. That almost sounded like something I'd say. "Flynn, I've just developped a new respect for you. Go get me some alcohol, and I'll be your best friend forever." I told him.
"What if I get you lots of alcohol? Then what will you be?"
"I'll hero worship you for the rest of eternity." I told him. And he kindly scurried off to go and find me some alcohol.
The headmaster came in at some point to demand to know why I wasn't teaching my class. I told him that I felt like shit because I hadn't slept and he told me to get over it. Flynn came back at some point, with whiskey, and that made me feel better. Then Ratsy turned up and demanded to know why neither of us were teaching our classes. Did I ever tell you that I hate him? He threatened to get the headmaster back in here, so I had to scurry off back to my class and actually teach them. I wasn't happy about it.
My classes were the same as ever. They threw things around the classroom, got into fights and didn't do any work. Plus, they were bloody cheeky. I was starting to feel bad about nearly eating my maths teacher. I spent my first few lessons and break drinking my whiskey and thanking my lucky stars for Flynn. Come lunch I couldn't force myself to do anything. Although, Rosa did turn up and force me to go out and do something, instead. She dragged me along to a bar fifteen minutes away, which didn't seem like it would have much point, since we only had an hour break. Plus, what were the odd of me getting in? I was bitten at fifteen.
I did get in, and I didn't even get asked for ID. I think Rosa might have known the bouncer. She knew the barman, too, which meant we both got free drinks. "A friend of mine owns this bar." she told me, though she had to shout over the noise of the music. Well, that was very nice, but somebody had just tried to grab my ass so I had to turn around and knock his teeth in. Rosa was laughing when I turned back to her. "You know, I dated him for a bit." she said.
"I don't have to be nice to him, do I?"
"No, not this one. I don't like him. Beat him up all you like." she told me.
We had a couple of drinks, and Rosa talked to some people while I stood around looking like a lost puppy. Rosa introduced me to some people, but their names didn't stick. One or two were obviously vampires, and I could smell a werewolf there somewhere. Come to think of it, I don't think I could smell any actual humans in the bar beside Rosa. That probably explained why I hadn't been IDed. "Are you sure? He could just be playing you." the werewolf guy said to Rosa.
"Somebody's playing everybody right now, and I'm not sure who it is." she said. Then they all looked at me, and I hadn't a clue what I was supposed to be doing. "Well, any thoughts on the matter?" Rosa asked me. I shrugged. There wasn't really anything else for me to do. "Surely you must have some idea who's behind it." the werewolf guy said to me.
I didn't have much of a clue, beside the fact that kidnapping me was somehow going to help start a vampire civil war. "I don't know and I don't care, just so long as they knock it off." I said.
"It's too complex to be Dracula behind it, this isn't his style. From what I've heard of Erik Stone, he's too unstable to hold anything like this together. It could have been Scarlette and Vermillion's doing, but then again, it might not be." one of the vampires said. I was sure I'd seen him before somewhere. He looked familiar. "Do I know you from somewhere?" I asked him.
"I should hope so. I work at the vampire council; I'm Edrich's secretary." he said.
"So, you know what's going on there, right? What Edrich's up to? Well, what is he up to?"
"Oh, the usual. He had Kenneth put uner house arrest earlier today, and it looks like he's been putting a private army together. I think he's finally lost it."
Kenneth? Under house arrest? Usually, that wouldn't bother me much, but he was supposed to be helping me with the whole somebody-is-out-to-get-me situation. How could he get himself arrested when it was such an inconvenience for me? Okay, I suppose it was probably an inconvenience for him, too, but that wasn't really my problem. I'd get his home address off Dante when I next saw him and pay him a visit. That out to make him feel better, right? You're right, it'd just piss him off that Edrich didn't have me put to death for all the people I've killed but threw his ass under house arrest for no apparent reason.
I was actually starting to get comfortable in the bar when Rosa looked at her watch and dragged me out. "Sorry, fellas, we need to go. I'll keep in touch, okay. I want to know what exactly is going on, so keep and eye out." she called back to them as I was dragged, quite as unwillingly as I'd been dragged there, out of the bar. "So, who were all of them, anyway?" I asked her.
"Minions. They're very helpful things to keep around." she replied.
"Oh. I suppose they are. Do you have many minions?" I'm not good at small talk, okay? I couldn't think of anything else to say. "I used to have much more, but they all left me for Mordred. Now I only have a handful. And I never took over the world, either, because of that arsehole." she said. Strange, I never saw Rosa as the 'evil megalomaniac' type. And I think I only just remember who Mordred was. I'm pretty sure he tried to take over the world or something, and Edrich ripped him a new one.
We were both late when we hauled our behinds back into school. The headmaster ranted for another fifteen minutes, and threatened to fire both of us, but I couldn't bring myself to give a damn. I stumbled back into my classroom and ignored my students for the rest of the night. I may not be a particularly good teacher, but given that I never wanted to be one, anyway, I can hardly be blamed. I would try harder tomorrow. Honest. I still felt like crap when I got home, and Morgan wasn't there to feed me. The unicorn was lying on the living room floor with it's legs in the air. I wasn't sure if it was dead or just being stupid. But then it bit me, so I knew. It was dead.