By Hcat

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Author's Note: A while ago I was on a creative-mania trip, and I turned out a ton of junk, calling it 'Art'. Right now I'm just trying to see if any of it is actually any good (I tend to suffer from excessive opinion-swings when I try to judge what I write). So... feedback would be wonderful! Please? Just to know whether it sucks, or not.

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Once I knew the truth
My mind was a clear, sharp, blade
I would ruthlessly slash through confusion
And find the heart of the matter
Once upon a time I knew my name
My mind held thoughts of concern, of vanity, of trust
I had loved ones, I was beloved
I am sure of that, now
How did I fall, when did I fall, by whose hand, and why did I crash?
Did I fall at all?
Is this some kind of disease self-inflicted?
Did my mind circle upon itself in savage self-hatred?
Or am I an old woman lying senile and muttering before the professional concern of a nurse?
No. I would die first.
The thought surprises me with its intensity.
What kind of person was I?
Death before defeat, kinda person?
You'll kill me before you humiliate me in front of an audience, kinda person?
Some kind of stuck up, image obsessed, self importance, kinda person?
I hope not.
I cannot see myself here.
The walls are grey, the ceiling is grey, the floor is grey
The air is grey
When I look down at myself
I am grey
Where am I?
Am I even alive?
Somehow I doubt this
I hope that I would know, realize if I were alive.
Some way to fight my way out
I have faith
I tell my self that
And true faith can overcome everything

I am
So tired I cannot dance
Cannot sing
My joy is wiped out by fatigue
Where is the surge of energy?
That used to make me twirl and jump
To dodge imaginary foes, and pretend myself an applauding audience
Who yelled my name like the voice of the sea in my ears
I gracefully swayed, posed, and stretched
Then swiftly sprinted and vaulted over obstacles
That I had carefully placed in a straight and continuous line
But now I slump
Motionless in a hard plastic chair
That in better times I would have scorned
As unfit for someone like me
But now I doze
Half awake and half asleep
My joy wiped out by fatigue
I am so tired I cannot even think