Made: Saturday, March 13, 2010

Time: 1:28p.m

–

I sit back,

Eyes shut tightly,

Hands pressed against my face—

Something done nightly.

I can't believe it.

It...I just can't.

It's not fair,

I constantly chant.

Why does everything

That starts out so well

End so badly?

Will no one tell?

I always try so hard,

But fail in the end,

Crashing and burning,

Unable to defend.

And when I walk through

That door every day,

My mask thrown somewhere,

I lie down and pray.

But nothing happens.

And nothing ever will.

It makes me so angry—

So mad I could kill.

Life is filled

To the very brim

With little disappointments,

So my outlook is dim.

But this time I couldn't,

Just couldn't wear the mask—

It was so broken up—

No matter how much I was asked.

And as I stood all alone,

Staring into my thoughts,

My eyes watered up,

But no tears would drop.

This made me worse,

So frustrated.

They wondered what's wrong

Because I'm usually so undefeated.

But there was nothing to say,

For my mouth was shut tight.

I just drug myself home.

Felt like I've been through a fight.

It just isn't fair.

Did I do something wrong?

Is this karma?, I think

While I listen to songs.

On my way home,

I laugh at 'lady luck,'

Because I passed by a coin:

A penny, heads up.

But I could surround myself

With all the luck in the world,

And the wind will just blow them away,

Then back at me they'll be hurled.

I just couldn't do it today,

Couldn't pretend there is no why.

Why I'm so out of it.

And yet still I can't cry.