|Ways to Piss Off Sarah
Author: sandcastlesinthesand PM
one-shot. I told myself I was in love with him after seeing him for five seconds. He was the perfect man. What happened there? It's simple. He spoke. RESPONSE TO AN OLD SKoW SECRETARIES' DAY CHALLENGE.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Words: 2,431 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 3 - Published: 04-19-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2798656
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I was bored. I saw this challenge. I took it. Ta-duh. This is the unedited end product.
The challenge was posted in 2008, FYI. I don't care though.
Challenge #25 - A Secretary Is Not A Toy
Wednesday April 23 is Secretaries' Day. Our protagonist (male or female) should be reveling in the glory of actually being appreciated for once, but fate, it seems, has other plans...
- must be a one-shot
- the secretary is clumsy and/or sexually frustrated
- there must be moments of sexual tension between another coworker, boss, or a customer/outside person
- the secretary must be sent on some ridiculous errands (errands that potentially have nothing to do with his or her job, for example)
Be creative with where he or she works! ;]
"Sarah, go to the Starbucks and get me a Venti 1 pump caramel, 1 pump white mocha, 2 scoops of vanilla bean powder, extra ice frappuchino with 2 shots poured over the top (apagotto style) with caramel drizzle under and on top of the whipped cream. Double cupped," Will Avington says to me as I walk into his office. The words go through one ear and out the other, and I stare at him in disbelief.
"What?" I ask, completely confused, although I should be used to his behavior by now. He always acts like this. God damnit, I'm a secretary, not a slave! I don't know why I even put up with his shit. Sure, he's attractive. He's got the brown hair-blue eyes-really sexy glasses thing going on. It doesn't matter though.
When I first saw him, I was smitten. I think I may have even drooled a bit. The only thing on my mind was the fact that my new boss was sexy. I told myself I was in love with him after seeing him for five seconds. He was the perfect man. What happened there? It's simple. He spoke.
Will sighs, frowning at me. "It's not that complicated, Sarah." I feel my eye twitch, and I resist the urge to walk over to him, grab his glasses, rip them in half, and then shove the pieces up his ugly ass. Actually, he has a pretty great ass, but he'll never know that.
"Do you know what day it is?" I ask, and it's really not as random as it sounds. I promise. He stares at me blankly, mouth set in a firm line.
"It's Friday, but I don't see what this has to do with anything. Now, go to Starbucks and get my Venti 1 pump caramel—" I interrupt him before he can continue the entire order.
"NO! God! Do you know what the date is?" I ask, clenching my jaw. He continues to stare at me blankly, looking very impatient.
"If you're not going to do what I ask, get out of my office," he states, pointing to the door. At this point I completely lose it.
"IT'S APRIL 23rd, WILL! SECRETARIES' DAY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE APPRECIATING MY AWESOME WORK EFFORTS, NOT FORCING ME TO ORDER YOUR COMPLICATED STARBUCKS SHIT!" I yell, pointing at him accusingly. I swear that he looks like he's about to smile, which is weird for a couple of reasons. For one, I have never seen him smile—ever. I mean, he edits children's books for a living, and yet I still have never seen him smile. Two, this is not a joke! Why is he amused?
He digs in his pocket for a second, and I watch him closely, wondering what he's up to. Then he pulls out his wallet, grabbing a five dollar bill and throwing it at me. "Happy Secretaries' Day! Buy yourself something at Starbucks—on me."
Oh my god. I cannot deal with this guy. He is unbelievable. Nevertheless, I grab that five dollar bill and stalk out of his office with pride. Unfortunately, I don't remember what his order is, so I have to walk back in. He watches me, his mouth struggling to stay in a line. I pull out my phone, opening the recording feature. "Say your order again."
After the hour it takes for him to recite his order, I put my phone back in my pocket, eager to leave his office.
"Shit!" I mutter. I swear I left that door open! God—so much for my dramatic exit. I don't dare look back at Will as I open the door and rush out, making my way to the elevator so that I can go to Starbucks, the GREATEST place on EARTH!
The gym is my savior. It really is. I don't know what I would do without the gym to comfort me on Saturday mornings. Those endorphins are the reason I get through the weekdays full of Will. The treadmill is my favorite, which is why I'm currently on one, starting off slow. I stick my earphones in and put on my exercising playlist. It's full of inspiring songs that get you pumped.
I begin my treadmill routine, and I watch the guys lifting weights. There hasn't been anyone particularly attractive yet, so that's a disappointment.
Oh wait, another guy is coming. Hey, he's really cute. Oh my god. Will is at my gym. He's taking over everything I love! He's ruining it! Besides, why isn't he wearing his glasses? I like them.
….Sweet mother of Jesus, look at those muscles.
The sight of the flexing muscles makes me lose normal brain activity, and my hand accidentally hits the up button, cranking the treadmill up really high, thus causing me to fly backwards off the treadmill. I painfully land on my stomach. I hear everyone gasp, and I stay with my face to the floor. There's absolutely no way I'm revealing my face after such a mortifying experience, especially if Will sees me.
I feel someone roll me over, and I smack the person's hand, trying to hide my face from them. I feel many eyes on me, but the person that rolled me over is definitely way too close for comfort. The person laughs. I open my eyes, ready to scream at the person.
Life hates me. It really does.
"WILL!" I gasp, blushing even harder than I was before. The people around are slowly starting to back up and go back to whatever they were doing before. Will is kneeling beside me, looking down. "How is this funny?" He immediately stops, his face turning serious.
"You're right. I'm sorry. Are you okay?" he asks, causing me to stare at him in an "are you serious?" way. Trust me, it's a very attractive expression.
"My head hurts," I say lamely, and he puts hand on my head, where there seems to be a huge bump. I wince, and he takes his hand off it, although keeping it close to my face. He looks at my eyes, and I look back at his. They really are a beautiful dark blue.
Man, this is really awkward.
…Why is he brushing a piece of hair out of my face?
"WELL! THIS WAS FUN!" I exclaim, causing him to jump. I get up, feeling extreme pain course through me, but I hide it. "I'm just going to go, um, walk my dog. See you Monday!" I quickly grab my iPod, which had landed a couple of feet away from me when I was flung off the treadmill. I head out of that gym as fast I can, dreading the next time I see Will.
Monday comes way too soon. It seems like five seconds later, I'm walking into the building, my head still throbbing from the incident. I make my way to the elevator, pressing the button. It comes quickly, so I hop on, pressing the floor number over and over again so that I can just leave already. Unfortunately, fate has other plans.
When the elevator doors are about to close, an arm shoots in to stop them, and they open again. Will walks into the elevator, causing me to inwardly panic. Crap, crap, crap. "Good morning Sarah," he says politely. I look at him like he's insane, and I just nod in response.
When the doors close, it's awkward moment of the century. I just don't see how elevators can't be awkward. Will and I are just standing there as shitty music plays softly and the elevator moves as slowly as it can, taking its time. It's practically not moving at all. I'm pretty sure it just wants to piss me off.
When the doors open, the world has already exploded. 2012 is dead and gone. I have spent my last two years standing in an elevator with Avington.
At least, that's what it feels like. I run out of the elevator to my desk, waiting for Will to do his daily pissing me off session, which includes a retarded errand.
"Sarah, please come see me in my office," he says as he walks past, and I groan, banging my fists on the desk. Can't he ever leave me alone? Why is he so intent on making me miserable? I walk angrily into his office, slamming the door behind me. He sits down in his chair, watching me patiently. "So, when we were on the treadmill—I mean elevator…" Once he says that, I feel my body go rigid, and my cheeks immediately flush. Of course he would bring that up. "I remembered something. I need you to go to Party City and buy me a bag of balloons."
He knows that I'm afraid of Party City! That place just gives me the creeps! Why is he doing this? AH! I don't let my anger and annoyance show. "Okay." He seems surprised, but he shakes it off. I walk out of his office, and go to Party City, my favorite place in the entire flipping world. Yip-tee-doo!
I make my way back into his office, but he's not in there. I walk up to his desk and loudly throw the bag of balloons on it, and I see a document on his desk. Hm. No one's here. It won't matter if I just take a little peek…
Ways to Piss Off Sarah
I gasp at the title, and I read on, completely oblivious to the real world. Finally I get to the end of the list, where the most recent ones are.
-complicated order at Starbucks: check
-show up at favorite gym: check
-wait for her to arrive in the building, then go into elevator alone with her: check
-stealthily bring up an embarrassing moment: check
-make her go to Party City and buy me a bag of balloons: check
"Hasn't anyone ever told you to mind your own business?" I hear someone say in my ear, and I yelp, throwing the piece of paper away from me. Will is standing right there, smirking. I glare at him.
"How did you get in here?" I ask first. How did I not notice him?
He chuckles a bit, pointing to the door to his office. "There's this thing called a door. You open it. Maybe I can teach you how to use it properly sometime. You looked like you really needed help with it on Friday." The only thing I can think about is how close we are. He's doing it on purpose too.
"Why do you purposely piss me off?" I ask curiously, trying not to give him what he wants by sounding mad, even though I totally am. He slowly backs me up into the wall of his office, putting both arms against the wall, trapping me. Oh God, he's seducing me! He's seducing me in his office!
He leans forward, whispering in my ear. "I like it when you're mad." He pulls away from my ear, keeping his face dangerously close to mine. I stare at him wide-eyed, my heart beating out of control. My eyes subconsciously move to his lips, which are slowly moving closer to mine…
Oh my god, he's kissing me. More importantly, I'm kissing him back. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he moves his arms around my waist. During our very heated make-out session, his phone rings, and he pulls apart. His face is flushed and his hair is disheveled. He's also completely out of breath. He angrily answers the phone. "Will Avington," he says eagerly. He listens to the voice on the other line for a second before saying, "I'll call you back later." He turns his focus to me again, walking back and kissing me again.
I force myself to pull apart. "I'm mad at you," I say, and Will looks confused and slightly upset that I stopped kissing him. He puts his forehead against mine, knowing the effect he has on me. I keep myself in control. "You've made me run endless retarded errands since the first day I started working here." He chuckles, making his lips barely touch mine before speaking again.
"I did it because I liked you," he says, causing me to shiver and blush at the same time. "Besides, doesn't this make up for it?" He starts kissing me again, and I get sucked into it for a few seconds before I stop him, pushing him away.
"How do I know that you're not doing this just because I'm a secretary, and you're horny or something? Secretaries tend to get stereotyped as the people that sleep with their bosses!" I say once I'm a safe distance away from me.
"Oh, Sarah. I'll take you on a date tonight. 7:00. I'll pick you up. If that doesn't prove my sincerity, then I don't know what will." I smile, and nod. He takes this as an invitation to walk closer to me again. "Happy late Secretaries' Day," he says before kissing the hell out of me.
I decide to interrupt the moment once more. "This is kind of ironic. This is supposed to be an office where children's books are edited." He rolls his eyes at me.
"I swear to God if you pull away one more time…"