|Octopus chan is so, so, so kawaii, desu ne? Ne!
Author: u r - w a i f u PM
When you thought cute comes with innocence then... you're totally wrong. Some morals and scary cute things, it's really not suitable for children but hey I was bored... some violence stuff...Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody - Words: 1,229 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 04-21-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2798998
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: DarkNeko-sama writing a children's story? Like that would happen. I'm guessing this is a parody of something, which I have no clue what it is. I'm guessing it's aimed for teens so no kids allowed!!
Octopus-chan is so, so, so kawaii, desu ne? Ne?!!
There once was an octopus who was so ugly that everyone died, The end.
Heh, Now that I've gotten your attention, dear children. I must tell you a story full of great morals and luckily I, Kishijoten Inue the perverted author, shall be your storyteller. Well there once was an octopus but she was so pretty and so cute that it consumed her into a psychopath.
She always had a pink bow on her head and she was very small for her age, she always had bright rosy cheeks and she was the colour of peaches but a tad bit darker. That's why she gained the name Momo, Princess Momo Yaki Ume Moe So-So Kawaii-chan which is her other name. Even though she was an ocean creature she would go onto land to visit her friends. Everyone adored her and her lovely bow. She adored herself of course and there was no-one else that she adored, she merely was a snob to everyone but she did love their complements.
One day when she was going around doing her rounds in the little village where her friends were a little neko came running and didn't notice that Momo was in his way. So the poor little neko bumped into Momo and accidently ripped Momo's favourite bow into little pieces.
"Momo-chan's bow, desu." The little octopus says picking up the small pieces that was left of her bow.
"I'm so sorry, Momo-chan…" The little neko says, comforting her.
The little octopus turned to him with furious eyes. "You killed my bow! Desu!"
"I'm not sure I killed it but we can fix it, right?"
"You killed my bow! You killed my bow! You killed my bow! You killed my bow! You killed my bow! You killed my bow! You killed my bow! You killed my bow!..." And she keeps on going on and on and on about someone killing her bow.
The poor, frightened, little neko slowly backed away but like an instinctive animal, well actually she's already an animal of some sort but oh well, she grabbed onto the neko and started to squeeze his arms.
"YOU KILLED MY DAMN BOW AND FOR THAT I'LL KILL YOU!! DESU!!!!" She says in a less pleasant voice.
"S-Someone help!" The poor dark neko says but no-one was around.
And as if Momo-chan had watched Naruto she pulled the neko's arms backwards and placed her foot on his back as if she was ripping out his arms from his sockets. Unlike Sasuke, who was too wimpy to actually kill that sound village guy, she had instantly killed him and blood stained her hands… well tentacles… She looked down at what she had done and smiled psychotically.
"Momo-chan… Momo-chan likes this… killing stuff… desu…" She says looking around for her next victim.
So day after day after another lousy day she began killing the villagers who was once known as her friends. When all of the poor villagers died she began to go around the world for her mission to kill every single animal in the world for no reason and while she was doing that she began to notice that she became less and less cute.
"Huh? I'm not cute anymore…" She said and couldn't even utter out a desu, "Then, then to be cute I must think of a word that doesn't even mean anything!"
So Momo stopped her massacre and began to think of an ultra cute word that didn't even have a meaning. Then she got the perfect word.
"Kyounkyu!" She utters and her cuteness went up by 100%.
So she went around the world uttering kyounkyu while killing until there was no-one else to kill. She looked down sadly and started to cry for she had no-one else to kill and no-one else to have her complement her on how cute she is. The loneliness started to seep into the psychotic octopus and she couldn't take it anymore so she wanted to end it all.
"I'm so sorry everyone… Momo-chan shall commit seppuku! Kyounkyu!!" She takes out a short sword and held it against her stomach, "Please forgive me…"
Momo first stabbed herself in the stomach and—
"H-Hey!! You shouldn't put Momo-chan in such a story, Kishijoten!!" A girl with bright pink ponytailed hair with a small peach colored octopus on her head called out of nowhere, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
"Ah, I'm sorry! Forgive me, Deredere-sama!" I say gobsmacked, "What are you doing here?"
"You need to go back to writing real stories and not scary stories like this, desu." Deredere says flipping her hair back.
"Ok, ok. But my writing doesn't concern you and the Aoi Choucho's…" I say kind of confused.
"When Momo-chan is in it then it is concerning." She says pointing at the octopus on her head.
"Whatever, just let me finish this story." I say.
"But first say sorry to Momo-chan for writing stuff like this about her, desu." She says taking off the octopus from her head and putting it in front of me.
I take a sign and mumble that Deredere is pathetic. "I'm sorry, Momo."
"Good! Momo-chan wants a hug now!!" She says lifting up Momo.
"Hell no." I snap back but it was too late.
"Here you go, desu." She says and then throws the octopus on my face.
"Argh! So-Someone! Get it off, it hurts!!" I say trying to rip off Momo but it made it hurt even more.
"Kyuun." Momo utters.
"Well, then. The moral of the story is being cute can have its drawbacks like turning psychotic but not for Deredere-chan because she's too cute to be evil! Take care kids, desuyo!" Deredere says taking away my spotlight.
"Hey, this is my story!! Geeze that's why I hate cute people like you…" I say finally free from Momo but I could feel that she left some marks on my face, "Both of youse are weirdo's…"
"Deredere-chan is so, so, so kawaii, desu ne?" Deredere says turning towards me with an innocent smile and then she stares at me, "Ne?!"
I take steps back and held my stance and thought Shit, she's scary when she's pissed off.
"Uh… Yeah…" I say trying to watch my words.
"Good girl." She says and closes her eyes and smiled.
I'm saved for today…
A/N: I'm not sure why I've wrote this but I started writing the first line and I thought that I might as well write some more to it. Most of the characters used in this story is in My drunken night adventures but some of them I haven't written about them yet… I guess this is another dud but still, review anyone? If you feel like it…