Author: Nota PM
Sometimes, a nice Sunday drive is just what you need. Sometimes, an innocent drive can take you on adventure you didn’t want. /Flash Fic in response to Flash Me Suddenly, April challenge./Rated: Fiction T - English - Words: 1,127 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 04-27-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2801251
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
One-shot flash fiction awaits!
This is my take on the April prompt from Flash Me Suddenly. The challenge was to characterize through dialogue without using description, in less than 1,000 words. I had lots of fun. I hope you enjoy :D
On with the show!
"Come on now darlin', don't be like that. It's gonna be an awfully long trip if ya gonna sit there and sulk."
"I'm not sulking; I just don't want to talk to you. There is a difference."
"Difference or no, it's mighty rude, darlin'. We gots ah long way to go yet. Ah little poe-lite conversatin' never hurt none."
"Look, you wanted me to drive, I'm driving. For the past four hours I've done everything you wanted. Unless you feel like filling me in, I'd prefer we didn't talk. "
"Weeell, 'cuse me missy. That's ah mighty frosty shoulder ya got there."
"Well, I feels like talkin'. It's a shame to be up in the company of ah fine lady and not exchange pleasantries. And ya know sweet-pea, I think our meetin' was preordained, fated-like."
"It was something all right."
"What was that, darlin'? You'se gonna need to speak up a bit."
"Come on now, sweet-pea. You was doin' so well."
"Go fuck yourself."
"Not what I'd expect outta lady's mouth."
"Here now suga', I find myself a might wore out by all this vulgarity. I thought you'se ah lady; su'pos you tried actin' like one? It might go ah fair sight better if-in we act civil-like. "
"Civil? You expect me to be civil? How about this, how about you use my god-damn name? Not sugar, or sweet pea, and it such as hell isn't darling. It's—"
"Nah-ah darlin', none of that. I told ya already; I don't need ya name and don't ya worry ya pretty little head 'bout mine. You just keep on drivin', nice and smooth-like. You'se gonna be just fine—if-in ya do what I say."
"Now, my mamma raised me right. I'ma gentle with the lady folk and I cast down them whores. Which is you'se, darlin'? Ya ain't no whore, now are ya?"
"You'se gonna need to speak up again, darlin'."
"Jesus! Don't point that thing at me! Put it away damn it!"
"I believe I asked ya question. Is you'se ah whore?"
"Well, you'se a-wantin' to lay up on them cuss'es then. Whores are filthy and dirty and talk just the same. You talk like them whores, somebody gonna treat ya like one. Only natural, right sweet-pea?"
"Yeah, o-ok. Please...please don't point that at me."
"Relax darlin', I ain't got no cause for this now, do I? Just ah small reminder 'bout the precariousness of ya situation is all. Now, you feelin' agreeable to playing a game, suga'? Little somethin' to pass the time?
"Wonderful, sweet-pea. How 'bout we play that question game? I have ta admit, I find myself powerful curious as to what ah lovely thing like you'se was doing way out thur by your lonesome."
"Nothin', darlin'? Those boxes ain't nothin'. City girls don't go far in the country for no reason, not carrying all that. I suspect somethin' far more interesting that brought ya out here."
"It was... I don't know, a whim? I just wanted to get way for a while, relax. And look where that got me."
"Ya gots yourself adventure and some charmin' company, sounds like ah good time to me. But them boxes, suga'? I know you'se ladies like to be prepared when ya travel, but that seems a might excessive. You'se gots to answer right and true 'fore you'se gets ya turn."
"Seriously? Look, it's kind of personal."
"Them's the best kind. I'ma still waitin' darlin'"
"Ah! Jesus—ok, ok. I was going to Atlanta to be closer to my boyfriend. It was a surprise, but when I got there... well, guess I should have called first."
"Thems the breaks, huh suga'? You get a question now darnlin'."
"You'll answer anything I ask honestly?"
"Yes indeed suga'. I'm wounded ya even have to ask. Wasted question on it to boot."
"What? No! That wasn't my question."
"Try to pay attention, darlin'. Rules is rules. Favorite color?"
"Wha? Never mind. Green."
"Huh, I figured ya for more of a blue gal myself. Well, best mind ya question this time, sweet pea."
"Are you…I mean, why are you doing this?"
"Why? Well I thought that was obvious. I needed ah ride."
"No, I get that, but why?"
"That's ah bit of ah story, hardly one fit for a nice young lady like ya. Do ya really want to know, sweet pea?"
"Uh, on second thought, n-no. Please, will you put that away?"
"I already told ya darlin', I ain't gots use for it just yet. I reckon it's my turn. How much gas we have left?"
"Gas? Oh. A little less than a quarter. I want to know, and you told me you won't lie, what... what are you going to do with me?"
"Oh darlin', that is the question, now ain't it? I suppose we oughts to deal with it now. Pull over."
"Pull over darlin'."
"What—no! Just answer the damn question."
"Darlin', I ain't about to ask ya again."
"Shit. Fine, ok?"
"Outta the car, suga'."
"N-no, please I—"
"Oh, god. Please, please, I did everything you wanted. Please just don't. Don't—"
"Hush now. What's ya name suga'?"
"Please, you said you didn't need... I don't—p-please?"
"Tell me now, suga'. Ya knows how I hate to repeat myself."
"Ana what, darlin'?"
"Nice to meet ya, Ana King, my name is—"
"No! No, don't! You said—please. Oh god."
"My name is Jules Lee Darden.
"It was nice meetin' ya, Miss Ana"
And there you have it. I highly recommend all writers try a flash challenge; it made me aware of the subtlety and power of word choice. Lots of fun XD If any one is looking for a flash fiction site, go check out Flash Me Suddenly.
As always, a huge thanks goes out to MaeMaes, who motivated me to do the challenge. 3
Feedback is lovely. Please drop me a line :D