The way it is

By todo-mahem

---

I like to blame everything bad in my life solely on my parents.

If they hadn't have died, I wouldn't be here.

I wouldn't be in this club staring down the long end of a gun. I wouldn't sell my body to these stupid morons every night just to make a living.

I wouldn't be in this mess; I wouldn't be here at all.

The noise in the room went on as if nothing was happening. No-one noticed us here, or if they did they quickly looked away. This was Leroy Masters, the head honcho of the local gang.

Lucky me, I'd pissed off a big shot.

It wasn't my fault. Really. Anyone would've done the same... i.e.; tell the worst possible person too 'fuck off' when propositioned for sex... I don't do guys.

What with... being a guy myself.

I feel strong arms lift me up by the shoulders and I'm dragged through the crowd of ignorant clubbers out of a side door and into an alley.

The smell of garbage and human waste is strong, lovely. What a grand place to die.

"Last chance to change your mind, pretty boy." Leroy Masters grins at me, slicking back his blond, oily hair back before straightening his white suite. Big spender this one.

Smiling slightly at the man I lean forward until our faces are so close that I can smell his foul breath.

"Not a chance in hell." I state before spitting him squarely in the eye.

A shocked silence follows as the men holding me tighten their grip, shuffling their feet awkwardly from side to side.

Slowly pulling a cloth from his pocket, Leroy Masters wipes his face before taking the safety off his gun and taking a step away from me. Levelling the weapon straight at my chest, the man once again grins.

What an ugly smile.

"Pity, pretty boy...It's been fun."

The loud bang sounded, echoing around the alleyway and as if in slow motion I watched the bullet slide easily from the gun, sleeking towards me.

Death inches from my body I clench my eyes closed, grimacing in fear, before waking up.

---

Drenched in a cold sweat, I clench my eyes closed again trying hard to slow my breathing.

Breathe... Just breathe...its ok, just a dream...just a dream...

After finally calming down I open my eyes, looking around me at the unfamiliar surroundings.

Shit. I have absolutely no idea where I am. That's just great.

The room was immaculately clean and well furnished, decorated with dark oak furniture. The bed I was lying in was in the centre of the room and it was huge. Dark black covers and equally dark pillows covered me, matching the dark curtains on the far wall; the carpet was a light blue-grey.

Yep, definitely never been in a room like this before.

Then I felt it.

A pain on the left side of my chest below my heart, a dull ache which resonated through my body. My head pounded and my eyes were tired, even though I felt like I've slept for years. Basically, I felt like crap.

Reaching down slowly with my right arm I pull down the sheet covering my torso and take in the sight.

I now know why I'm in so much pain, it wasn't a dream, I was really shot.

My left arm is strapped securely to my chest, bandages run across my body wrapping around the wound that I know is there.

I try to move my fingers of my left arm and succeed; they're sore though so I stop.

Ok. It's ok. Just try to remember what happened after I was shot.

Leaning back on the pillows I wrack my brain for anything, something, but nothings there.

It's just, blank.

Shit.

Ok, this isn't so bad. At least I'm not in bed with a complete stranger in a trashy room with no recollection of what happened.

Yes, that's happened before and this is definitely preferable.

Alright.

Feeling slightly better for it I edge my way slowly to the edge of the bed, slipping quietly to the floor I test my legs which are surprisingly wobbly and I felt a small pain go up my lower back, how long have I been sleeping there?

Making my way over to the mirror over the dresser I take in my reflection.

Shit.

My short dark brown hair was messy, sticking up at odd angles and I was wearing a long white shirt. Both of which were ok. What I noticed next...well... shit.

My face was black and blue, like someone had slammed it hard against something; my lip was swollen on the right side with a dried scab. I looked down my body and noticed the marks on my right arm as if someone had twisted it viciously. I slowly lifted up the shirt, noticing that I was wearing some dark silky boxers; they didn't do anything to cover the bruises though. My stomach was covered, vicious marks gracing the once pale skin.

What the hell had happened to me?

I clenched my gut and winced in pain as a sharp ache came up my lower back from my ass. Curiously I repeated the action, wincing again.

Ooookay... that's unusual...

Shrugging it off I slowly turned from the mirror and walked towards the door across the room, opening it quietly and peaking out of it into the deserted hallway.

Slinking out of the room I made my way down the hall bypassing doors as I went. This place was huge!

At the end of the hall a staircase went down the left while at the right another staircase went up. Curiously I went right, going further up into the house. There were no windows. Strange.

The staircase turned right again as it went up, turning into the next floor. As I climbed I could faintly hear music, a low thumping base which reverberated through the floor. The further I climbed the louder it became, adding in a low set beat of drums. Finally I reached the top, slipping around the corner I stood facing a closed door.

I lightly leant against it, placing my ear against the door as a light rhythm sounded from a piano accompanying the music. I closed my eyes and listened. I really loved the sound of a piano.

After a minute I pulled back and took a deep breath before opening the door as quietly as possible and peeked my head through.

It was a music room or something, instruments everywhere. A large open space graced the centre, and a balcony opened up the far side, large doors letting the light in. It was evening. Who knew?

A big stereo to the left rocketed out the beats and in the other corner to the right, facing a large window which ran across the right wall was the piano.

It was huge, a dark shiny black, grand piano.

A man sat on the stool, his back to me. He had dark short black hair which was styled to spike out at the edges and he wore a light blue hoodie and tracksuit pants.

I noticed his long fingers as they flickered over the keys. His straight back and long slender body. The way his foot tapped lightly in rhythm with the melody.

Leaving the door hanging open I moved into the room until I was in the middle, moving quietly though I doubt I'd be noticed over the loud music from the stereo.

I stood and closed my eyes, merely listening to the sound, enjoying the music.

Nothing seemed to matter.

None of it, the past, the present.

Everything slipped away as the light flutter of the keys calmed my mind.

---

Have you ever fell asleep standing up?

Its super uncomfortable let me assure you. I read somewhere that people who are really good at martial arts or tai chi and all that are good at it, standing for hours.

Well I've never done it before. Ever.

When you wake up your bodies cramped and uncomfortable. Not to mention the fact that mine was that way prior to falling asleep standing in the middle of the music room in nothing but a nightshirt and boxers near an open doorway.

I slowly opened my eyes, looking straight into a pair of deep dark eyes in front of me.

What?

His dark black hair with red streaks fell over his face as he smiled at me, deep dimples marking his cheeks. His head leaned slightly as he looked into my eyes and I felt my stomach drop to my feet.

Seriously, what?

"Hi there." His voice, a light and lovely sound broke the silence and I stumbled backwards reaching around me for something to hold me up, flinching as he reached out and grabbed my hand holding me still.

"Are you ok?" He sounded worried now, a frown gracing his face. What a beautiful face. "You look pale, how are you injuries? Does it hurt? You were standing there for a while...were you asleep?"

Mumbling quietly to myself I tried to make sense of the situation while avoiding his eyes, I swear my cheeks must be bright red. I'm a guy for crying out loud!

"I'm fine..." I finally manage, even if it's a lie.

I feel my legs fold under me and he reaches out pulling me into his body carefully avoiding my left arm.

"Sure you are..." He grins. "Why don't you go back to bed and lay down for a while hey?"

After a moment I glance at him and nod. That sounds like a really good idea.

We walk from the room towards the door where he helps me down the stairs and back through the dark hallway and into the room I woke up in earlier.

He guided me to the bed lowering me gently onto the sheets and laying my head on the pillow. I felt like a child but I didn't have the energy to do anything, my body felt like jelly.

"So, your name's Sai right?" He asks me after pulling the sheets up and over my body.

A look at him and frown. "Umm, yeah it is..." I finally answer. "Yours?"

He smiles. "I'm Lane, Lane Keats."

"Ok...Lane..." I lightly run my right hand through my hair and shift my legs over more so that he can sit on the edge of the bed, which he does. "Can you tell me... why I'm here?"

"You don't remember?" He asks sharply, frowning again.

I shake my head silently.

After a moment Lane sighs and licks his lips, turning fully on the bed he faces me and crosses his legs, staring straight at me.

I can't help but look away from him.

Why the hell is he so damn attractive? Did I hit my head somewhere along the way?

"There was an accident... at a club. I don't know the details really but I was there with a few friends drinking and I went outside for a smoke, to the alley and you were there...with two guys..." He trailed off, looking away from me. After a moment he continued.

"You were unconscious and your chest was bleeding, lying on the ground. I yelled at them to get off you and they ran... I called the police and ambulance. A man from the club came out and tried to wake you up, he was really angry. When the police came he said he had no idea who you were... but he was calling your name trying to wake you up so..."

Must've been Chevy, he's the man I work for in the club. My 'pimp', if you will.

"Anyway you went to the hospital and I went too since there was no one else, you went into the emergency and the fixed you up there... because, you were, you know, shot..." He looks at me and I nod so he continues. I guess it really wasn't just a dream.

"After they'd finished they tried to find out information on where you lived but no one knew jack shit so I offered to take you with me." He shrugged and smiled at me.

"I don't mind, got plenty of room here, so you can stay as long as you like."

He seemed to be waiting for a reply to that so I nodded again earning myself a giant dimple filled grin.

Shit.

"Anyway," He stood up and went to the nightstand by the bed and grabbed the glass of water that was there and tipped some tablets from a bottle. Hadn't even noticed them there.

"Here's your painkillers, doc said they make you sleep for a good couple of hours so I'll make something to eat and wake you up later, bet you're starving." He handed me the cup and tablets and I swallowed them willingly.

Sleep and no pain sounded great right now, the previously dull ache in my arm was reaching an insane level.

"Thanks." I say quietly as I hand the glass back to him.

"Sure." He replies before heading towards the door.

Before he reaches it I call to out to him. "Hey...Lane?"

"Yeah?"

"You said... you said you 'told them to get off me'...right?"

Once again he looked away from me, staring at the wall, he nodded. "Yes."

"What... what were they doing...exactly? The two men?"

Sighing Lane raised his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes before looking back at me.

"They were...raping you." He gave me a sad look. "I'm sorry."

I didn't say a word.

I looked away from him and lowered myself back into the bed, adjusting my arm so that it didn't hurt so much before pulling the covers up until they were under my chin.

I heard the door close quietly and shut my eyes tightly.

Oh god.

My eyes began to sting and I started to cry.

Oh my god.

I gulped a huge breath, but it didn't help.

Raped...?

I couldn't breathe, my chest hurt, my head pounded. I sat up, pulling my hand through my hair.

I was...I was...

I started to scream.

A/N: hi. I started this by actually sketching Sai lol. Though, just a hint, Sai's not his real name. It's the name of my brothers friend who came in and I'm like lol your gonna be in this story and he's like lolwut but its ok because he'll never read it. 8)

Um yeah, so I drew Sai and then couldn't get this story out of my head and so I spent an hour or so trying to think of a last name for Lane... and figuring out if Lane was a real name or not.. I was gonna call him 'Laen' but that was weird and Laine sounds like a girls way of spelling it but I don't know so yeah. Lane it is. I'm drawing him. Hm.

I'll link the drawings in my profile later if anyone is interested. Lool.

Anyway, its 12:14 am and since I have insomnia (for real) lol I just haven't been writing or drawing or well anything so I'm sooo happy because tonight for once I just felt great and I got so much done it's a relief. Now I just need to work on things I've already started... OTL. I'm a horrible updater. And shit this isn't a journal it's a freaking long authors note freck. So yeah. Bye bye, I'll update this soon I hope because I like the story and I'm excited to write it wheee!

Ps, adam, don't review this with your words of knowingness of my fail. I'm bored and need something to do bleh.