Dear Diary,

We have new next door neighbours. I do not think I like them. In fact I think they are communists….

Nah I'm joking, not about the neighbours bit just the not liking them and the communist bit. I'm not even entirely sure what a communist is to be honest. A fact I'm sure the delicious and delectable Mr. Hooper is in despair over. He's a great history teacher and all (not that it matters with looks like that *drools*) but all these Humanities subjects do not do it for me at all.

Especially Geography - so mind numbingly boring that it LITERALLY sends me to sleep. No joke man, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's something to do with Mr. Grims voice, he's got one of those sort of voices, all calm and mellow well that and the fact that Geography is boring as shit. I honestly cannot understand how anyone gives a flying rats bum about rocks,

'Oooh ROCKS!'

'Yay!'

'They're hard!'

'Yay!'

'They hurt people when you throw them!'

'Double Yay!'

Ok so I am aware Geography isn't all about rocks and it's just because we are doing the geology bit but even when we are doing all the countries crap it is still complete tedium. The worst part is Mr. Grims actually seems to like Geography. He does all these hand gestures and uses words like 'fascinating' and 'exciting' clearly he needs to go find a dictionary and revaluate just what certain words mean before he goes around using them willy nilly.

Mr. Grims though is nothing compared to his wife. Well I assume Mrs. Hanscom is his wife/significant other, either that or both of them are married to other people and they are having the world's worst secret affair. They come to school and leave school in the same car sometimes. They have been overheard talking about 'the children' and using phrases like 'I'll be home late tonight' to each other.

Both of them wear wedding rings, and they are clearly together, but if you ask either of them if they are in fact married to the other they don't give a conclusive answer - they never say they are married, but they don't deny it either. Which is just stupid in my opinion. I know technically it's nothing to do with the students but I fail to see why they have to be so 'diva' about it. Like they are 'teacher/celebrities' using the 'that's nothing to do with the work/the no comment' line on the 'student/press' busybodies. Maybe they're megalomaniacs and do compare themselves to celebrities - I mean she doesn't share his last name. Or maybe they think it is funny annoying us by not saying once and for all.

So yeah anyway what I was saying before about Mrs. Hanscom, she is 10 times worse than her husband (supposedly) she doesn't just like Geography - she LOVES it. Her eyes actually light up when she is twittering on in her lessons.

We had her for a week of cover lessons when Mr. Grims was God knows where (God and Mrs. Hanscom) and she walked in one lesson this huge smile on her face and told us she had a treat for us. Considering how she had been all week I was sorely disappointed yet utterly unsurprised when she came in with a tray full of rocks.

She picked up one of them and started explaining about it, she felt the need to share that that type of rock was what she had in fact picked out for her fireplace or her mantelpiece or some other crap.

Went on about how she went to this store with all the samples and how great it was having so much to choose from.

Honest to God I thought my little mind was going to implode with wonder because not only did she recount the most uninteresting story I have ever heard to date, but she did it in the tone of someone describing spending a day at Alton towers without queues and meeting their all-time idol along the way. I honestly could not fathom it.

While she was talking she kept touching the rock too, even when she was done talking and got us all to come forward and see and touch for ourselves she still kept holding the rock. She got us all to take away rocks to our desks and draw them and look up info on them, then stood at the front of the classroom touching the rock and explaining how we should all be touching our rocks and examining them. So freaking boring! And all I have to say is if it was possible to molest a rock I'm pretty sure that's what Mrs. Hanscom would have been doing.

Well I say molest but from the way she was running her fingers over it I'm sure the rock would have liked it (assuming the rock was male… and straight)

Ahahaha just read that paragraph back, 'touching rocks' lol! Ah I never cease to amuse or in fact amaze myself with my idiosyncratic bullshit.

I have decided that idiosyncratic will be my new word. I learnt it from Silver, wise, beautiful Silver probably the only sane one of all my close friends.

Anyway I must now go, I'm going to make our curtains twitch, i.e. spy on our neighbour's front garden to see if I can discover anything else about them. I only know that the woman is an alright looking brunette. She's no Heidi Klum but she certainly isn't bad to look at.

I saw her standing in the front garden peering at something when I was coming in from school. She didn't acknowledge me or say hello - not that I was expecting her to leap forward with the words 'Howdy there! I'm your new neighbour' but I at least thought she would look at me and smile or something.

I was all prepared to give her my 'I'm a nice, good and well adjusted human being' smile, granted that smile is entirely misleading but you know let them see the nice then unleash the crazy. Everyone knows you never show the crazy first, only the actual crazy are stupid enough or should I say crazy enough (ooh wordplay) to do that.

Mum and Dad aren't home yet so I'm the only one who's seen her, so they can't provide my with any info, juicy or otherwise *melodramatic sigh*

Well on that note I depart I shall be providing updates on the situation. I hope she doesn't turn out to be a bitch. Sometimes It's nice to like your neighbours not that I dislike any of my other neighbours, but you know.

Anyway I bid you adieu!

X