I'm the girl at the back of the class.

I don't know if you know me. Probably not. I'm the kind of person who doesn't generally get noticed, on the whole. That's how I like it to be. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if things were different. But there's no point dwelling on these things. It's never going to happen.

My name's Ayla Penchewa. Last desk, last row. I'm the one with the long black hair that I wear in front of my face and the blue eyeshadow. I'm always drawing, scribbling or sketching. You might have seen me occasionally, tripping over my own feet or dropping my books.

Okay. More information about me…let's see…all right, I was thirteen last month. I've been dreading it for a long time. It's like the final indication that I'm no longer a child, that I'm now responsible for my actions. I want to stay a child forever. I don't want to venture into the adult world, not ever. If I could, I'd shut myself up with my art and my books, and that would be an end to it.

Still thinking what to say here. I guess this isn't too interesting for you, hey? Sorry about that. You can leave now if you want. I won't take it personally.

This isn't a murder mystery, by the way, or an adventure or a fantasy. This is a slice of life story. My life. I don't know who you are, so I can't judge, but if you're popular, all this will seem alien to you, like another world. I doubt that, though. Everyone has known at some point what it's like to be ignored. The difference is, for me it's every day.

It's not even bullying. It's just being overlooked. The thing about me is that I blend in, like a piece of wallpaper. It's best to keep a low profile, mostly, because that way you can keep out the hurt, and you won't get in trouble. You can dress crazily, shout, dye your hair crazy colours and wear chopped-up skirts to school. But don't expect anyone to see what's happening inside.

They never will.

What's that you say? There's good things in life? Well, of course there are. But I can't appreciate them. My life has no good things. You want some advice? I'll give you the best words of wisdom I know. If you want to survive without being hurt, don't have faith in anything. Everything dies. The prettiest things are the first to decay.

You don't believe me? Look around. Look at the things you never want to look at. Look at the things you only ever see out of the corner of your eye. The world is ugly. Get used to it.

For me, every day is the same, nothing matters, nothing ever changes. Welcome to my world of pain.