|Special To Me
Author: Miz019 PM
I'm not a child anymore and with this broken heart, I'll let him see how much I've grown and how much I don't need him in my life. Besides, I didn't come here for him. I came here for my teacher that I treasure so much.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,163 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 09-04-10 - Published: 06-05-10 - id: 2814347
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A.N.- Hi hi! I know I haven't posted a new chapter for such a long time and I apologize! I went to a vacation and they didn't have internet access *frowny face* horrible. I also had to change some minor details you guys might not know about and again I apologize. So Ray's only two years older, Miz is sixteen, Justin is seventeen, and that Miz met Cher two years ago. && my username Miz is just a username and has nothing to do with the character of this story, Miz.
I tossed and turned last night because I couldn't believe that Walter saw us and to make it worse, he made Miz stay and sleep with him. Sleep as in just sleep not sleep as in…y'know.
I realized that night that Miz was really pretty without any make-up and it made her look like a fragile girl. And every time I peeked at Miz, I saw Walter's arms around her, smirking at me. Torture.
I was trying to get dress before Miz wakes up but it was too late.
"Walter!" Miz said in pain.
I looked over and she looked like her head hurts. Well, that's what happens basically.
"Yes, yes," Walter walked hurriedly towards Miz with a full glass of water and two pills. I never knew Walter could be so responsible. And while I fix my things, I wondered why Walter was so attach to her. Love? Crush? Lust? What is it? It clouded my mind. Walter's not really the kind of guy who would have a crush. But what I do really know about them? I feel such an outsider when I'm with Miz and her friends.
"What happened last night?" Miz asked after she swallowed down the pills.
"You should ask Justin over there," Walter winked at me and I gritted my teeth.
Miz just sighed and didn't say a word. I didn't know what to say so I just cleared my throat and waved at Walter and left. I figured that Walter would take care of Miz.
Cher looked at me surprisingly when I entered his classroom. "I...I didn't know you'd be with us today, Ms. Zesolia."
"Oh, don't Ms. Zesolia me," I half-whispered. My head still hurts but I take half-responsibility for getting drunk so I can't just flake out now. Besides I still have some work to do with my piece.
"You look like crap today," Mazen taunt me. I looked at him and was about to curse but I just can't find the strength to do so.
"So, my plan for today was just to have you and your partner gets some things done with your pieces. Anyone can play the pianos if needed, but not too loud."
I quickly sat next to Justin before Mazen could mention anything else. I took a whiff of the new perfume, or cologne or whatever manly way to say it, Justin was wearing.
"New cologne?" I asked after I told myself that cologne sounds better…I hope.
"Yea," he stammered. I looked at him confusingly trying to remember what happened last night. He wouldn't even look at my face. I looked for my mirror and stole a glance at myself. I seem to look fine.
"Did I say or do something last night?" I finally asked. "You know, like something that makes you not look at me anymore?"
"It's not like that," he sighed. He put his head down and didn't say anything.
"I apologize, for whatever I did," I bit my lower lip.
He looked up to me with a smile. If only I knew what was going through his head. "I'm just a bit tired."
"Liar," I said.
"Liar." I repeated.
We gazed at each other for a couple of second and I thought I saw him blush before he looked away.
"You're so meek today,"
"Since when do you know such vocabulary?" He smirked.
"I can be smart, ya know," I shrugged my shoulder.
"So how are you guys doing?" Cher grabbed a chair and sat next to me. He made such an naïve smile that it could make me sick.
"Good, I guess," I said with a harsh tone to let him know he's not yet off the hook, I mean-he was the one who bought the beers. "Though we still have some work to do."
"How are you feeling?" he petted my hair.
"A bit mentally hazy," I murmured.
"Lemme know if you guys have some problems," he said giving me a quick wink.
Throughout the class, Justin was seriously acting weird and I tried not to get annoyed by it. He won't tell me what happened and I don't know what to do. I felt like a lamb that got lost, although I'm not sure I would be a lamb to begin with. Hmmm. More like a wolf that got lost. I think that sounds better. We practiced at our break time but he rarely spoke to me and avoided my eyes.
"So we'll continue this tomorrow?" he, once again, sighed after a long day.
"I guess," I said.
"Okay, see you," he was about to take off.
"Wait, Justin," I called out and he stopped but didn't look back. Seeing his back and how he was fidgeting, I must've done something wrong and I want to clear it out but I'm just way too tired to talk.
"Tell Walter that I…uhm, need to talk to him," I lied.
"Hey! You! Over there looking such a loser!" Mazen shouted.
I looked at him with the intent of killing him. He simply smiled at me. He gotta stop doing that.
"What do you want?" once he sat next to me at the bench while the sun was setting down.
He smiled at me, yet again. He stared at me. That's all he ever does when he's not teasing me.
"You've been always been such a weird kid," I said. He knows I can't stand the silence that was not comfortable.
"Have you ever wanted to go back and just stay where we were?" he asked me.
"It's not the time to be reminiscing," I said.
"She was very beautiful," he looked up the sky and I knew who he meant. I felt that lump inside my throat. My chest felt heavy.
"When she died-"
"Oh come on Mazen, not now," I sighed.
"When she died, I thought my world was going to crumble," Mazen flicked me in the arm playfully. "But it got worse. Like Cher, you just completely vanished."
I gulped. Should I apologize? But I don't really know why I should though.
"Mazen," I said with a shaking voice.
"I'm not mad," he flashed a smile. "I'm not blaming you for what happened. I just want you to know that no matter how screwed up you are, there are people who loves you."
I was almost in tears but I held it back. I had to. It's just so very rare for him to do this. He's not the one to do this.
"Why all of a sudden?" so I asked him.
"Because I want you to know that you don't have to change, that we should still continue what we were doing. 'Cause you promised me you'd bring me at the top with you."
"I'll think about it," I said. So it's the business.
"Hey," Ray suddenly appeared. "Can I talk to you in private?"
He was looking directly at me and my face felt hot. I was just thankful that the sky was getting darker.
"Well, see you 'round!" Mazen completely deserted me. I could never count on him with things like this.
Ray sat next to me, he left a bit of space in between which didn't really make it any less awkward.
"How's your piece doing?" he started.
"It's good, yours?" I said with a soft voice. He smelled good.
If he's starting a conversation, it's not really going anywhere.
"I didn't know that I broke your heart badly," he finally said it.
"You don't know anything after you rejected me," the words came out and it felt good to say them but I didn't have the guts to watch his expression.
"I love her," his words probably stung more.
"I know," I whispered.
"When I first met you, I knew you were gonna be someone special in my life,"
"Ray, just drop it," I said. This is seriously not my day. First it's the headache, then its Justin acting weird. Mazen just makes it worse and now I have to deal with Ray.
"No, let me finish," he said with a gentle tone.
"I developed feelings for you but Dawn-"
"Completely seduced you," I finished his sentence. "Sorry, go ahead."
"But Dawn was someone I knew that was meant for me," he finished. "I thought that it was just a crush you felt, I didn't know it was something much deeper."
"I really am sorry for what happened," he said, I could feel his eyes on me.
I brought my knee to my chest and hugged it. I buried my face. "I don't want you to see me cry. I really liked you."
I felt his arms hugging me and he whispered; "I'm sorry."
I felt like I was a young girl again. I felt the wound opening again. I felt its pain one more time. But this time, I knew it was going to heal permanently.
It was hard to walk together with Ray by my side but I promised him that I would try to be friends with him again.
"So, does Dawn know?"
"Yep," He sighed. "She was bawling and threw every possible thing she could at me."
"Is she mad at me or something?" I didn't understand.
He chuckled; "No, she was mad at me. She started yelling how horrible of a person I was for doing what I did to you. And then she started blaming herself for being so insensitive towards you."
"Maybe if she was a cruel kind of girl, I'd come to hate her," I openly admitted. "But she's definitely a keeper."
I looked at him and saw his smile glow. So this is it huh?
"Well, I have to go and report to her," he fixed his hair.
"Oh, okay then," I said.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yea, of course," I gulped. We gave each other an uncomfortable hug, but it was nice that we finally fixed it between us.
I watched him disappear along the crowds and I was excited to tell Cher all about it.
I opened his classroom door and what I saw broke my heart. How many times does my heart have to endure it?
I found Taylor sitting on top of Cher with her lips pressed hard against his. I quickly closed the door for the fear that somebody might see.
My tears were back again. Taylor gawked at me and Cher's face was red. I'm not sure whether I could hold back on breaking Taylor's limbs apart.