|Easier said than done
Author: ChemicalHazzard PM
I'd loved Jake for as long as I can remember, but it was never going to happen no matter how mugh I prayed and hoped. You see Jake had a type, a specific type and you see, my picture didn't fit the frame. Jake liked his women older, much older.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,678 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 06-16-10 - Published: 06-10-10 - id: 2816245
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Life isn't a rehersal, the camera's always rolling
This letter is to inform you that the school year will commence this coming September 6th. There will be a formal induction day for all first year students on the 5th. If you wish to contact the school with any questions or…
I stopped reading and let the letter fall to the floor, while my legs were on their own agenda and made way for my sister's room. Without prior warning, or time to conduct herself, I burst through the door then began to jump on top of her. My smile stretched from ear to ear, I probably looked like the Joker but I couldn't care less, I was going back to college!
"Schools back from summer!" I sand tunelessly while dancing almost on top of Christina.
"What the fuck?" she grumbled, her head poking out from beneath the duvet.
I fell to my knees beside her head, "I'm going back to school!" I gushed.
My sister's eyes narrowed and her little noise crinkled, "Well before you do anything I suggest you brush your teeth."
I withdrew from her, putting my hand over my mouth and breathing into it.
I frowned, "Yeah you're right."
It was roughly 7 o'clock in the morning and I'd barely just gotten out of bed, before going to the door and retrieving the mail I'd been waiting weeks for. I hadn't had time for breakfast let alone a toothbrush.
"But that's besides the point Chrissy," my grin was back, "School's back on, and I'm that much closer"- I pinched my fingers together-"to my dream."
"Yeah," my sister mumbled, burrowing herself back into the mounds of bedding, "Great. Now can I get some sleep, I came back home late last night."
I sighed, disappointed that she wasn't as happy as I was, I'd expected something more enthusiastic from her. Oh well, I shrugged then skipped out back into the hallway and towards the phone. I found myself beginning to dial Jake's number, but then though better of it just as my finger hovered over the last digit. No, I would not call Jake and tell him my good news; I'd call my mum instead. I slammed down the phone then began to punch in a whole new set of numbers. The phone rang three times before it was answered.
"Hello?" my mother's voice was breathy as if she'd run to the phone.
"Hey mum! I've got some really good news!" I gushed.
"No," I rolled my eyes, "Charity."
"Oh!" My mum laughed softly at her own mistake, "You both sound the same over the phone, not that you call me anyway."
I felt a sudden pang of guilt, "Sorry mum, we've both been pretty busy."
"Yes well, it's nice to check in back home sometimes, I have some news of my own!"
"You first," I prompted, desperate to prove to my mum that I cared.
"Well," I could hear the smile in her tone, "I've finally decided to open up my own flower shop."
"Oh that's great!" I was genuinely pleased for my mum, she'd wanted this flower shop for a while, she just couldn't afford it back when both Christina and I were home. Mum was a single parent, working two jobs just to keep us going and some way or another more money was going out than coming in.
"How can you afford it though?"
"I applied for a loan at a bank, and they approved it," she sighed happily, "You don't know how elated I feel right now."
"I'm so happy for you."
"Now love, what is it you wanted to tell me?"
I laughed softly, "My news is gonna sound like poo compared to yours."
"It had to be important enough to call me about it."
"Yes well, I'm going back to school in two weeks." I waited for my mum to react.
"Well you're right, that is a little pooey, you could've at least told me your news before I told you mine."
I bit back a laugh; I didn't want to encourage her. In many ways mum and Christina were the same, humour wise, although my sister cursed more.
"Well thanks mum for your endless support."
"Well Honey," she started, "I support you, it's just your timing's off. If you gave your news before mine you would've gotten a better reaction, it was a complete anti-climax through no fault of my own."
I gave into the temptation of laughter; so much so my sides were aching at tears came to my eyes. I missed my mum and a visit was long overdue, it was just difficult finding a time when both Chrissy and I could go down. Then, as if pre-rehearsed, my sister emerged from her room, hair fluffy and eyes groggy.
"Mum?" she mouthed.
I nodded and she held her hand out for the phone.
"Mum, I gotta go, Christina wants a chat."
"Alright then love, well have fun at … school, and come down and visit some time."
"Will do, love ya," I handed the phone over then scuttled off into the kitchen, my stomach felt painfully empty.
Christina and I were both women in our twenties, irresponsible women in our twenties, who couldn't shop properly if our lives depended on it. Food these days seemed so expensive, and sometimes our wages didn't cut it, or my sister spent hers on clothes. More times than none I pigged out at Jake's, or just went without a fat meal and nibbled here and there. It came as no surprise to see that the fridge was empty save some yellow milk and cheese that was furry and green. I wrinkled my face in disgust as I threw both items out and made my way to the cupboards. There was protein shake, obviously not mine, and a few packets of instant soup. That would have to do, I concluded, as I reached for the tomato packet. It was a powdery substance, where all you had to do was add hot water, so I boiled the kettle and poured the powder into a bowl. My sister shuffled into the kitchen, scratching her head and yawning.
"You done talking to mum?" I inquired, arms folded and but resting on the kitchen surface.
She nodded, "Yeah, did you hear about the flower shop?"
"Mhhhm, I really happy for her," I smiled and the kettle called for attention.
I resumed making my breakfast, my back now to my sister.
"I'm sorry for not being so enthusiastic about your news, I'm really happy for you if it matters now."
"Of course it matters!" I beamed, turning to give my sister a bear hug. "Your opinion always matters, that's why I listen to you."
Christina only smiled and hugged me back, "So I take it you didn't call Jake?"
I withdrew, as if slapped, then turned back to my soup, which didn't have the correct water to powder ratio. I sighed but sipped at the watery, tasteless concoction anyway.
"Nope, I haven't."
"Good," Christina ruffled my hair. "I think that cup'a'soup is out of date by the way. I was meant to go shopping yesterday but I got sidetracked."
I rolled my eyes at my sister while downing the remains of my bitter breakfast. "If you look in the top draw of my bedside table, you'll find some money. Put it towards the shopping."
My sister's shoulders sagged as if relieved, "Oh good because we're running low on ice-cream, and I bought the cutest dress yesterday…"
I rolled my eyes and walked past her and out of the kitchen, "Whatever, I'm going to work."
"Bye!" She called.
Work wasn't too pressing, the day wasn't that busy, and the hardest thing I had to do is deal with the problem animals. The 'problem animals' were the pets that had been subjected to such a harsh environment it had taken its toll on them, leaving them aggressive and liable to lash out at any given moment. Once, while trying to clean out a cat's cage it, as a defence mechanism, scratched me all the way down from my elbow to my wrist. A small browning scar is still there, on my arm, to this day. As it neared the end of the day my nerves started to jump. I would be seeing Jake again, and going against everything my sister had said, and everything single thing that I'd wanted. There was no way I was going to get over him at this rate. Before I knew it, it was time to close up shop and I was feeling more and more anxious at the minute.
"Gawd! I cannot wait to get back home, curl up on the sofa and binge!" Freya chuckled. "What's on the card for you tonight?"
I swallowed thickly, and dragged on my coat, "I t-think I'm going to the cinema with Christina."
Which was a complete lie, I'd also told Chrissy that I was going to the cinema with Freya. If by any chance they spoke… I was screwed.
"What are you gonna see?" my co-worker questioned, while beckoning me towards the door, key in hand.
"Erm…" damn her for being so godamn nosy, "I don't actually know, we're just going to decide when we get there."
"Ooh," she giggled, "Dangerous living."
I nodded once then made a hasty exit through the doors and into the biting night air. I welcomed the cold, I felt as if it was some way to punish me for being so goddamned stupid. It wasn't too late to cancel on Jake, but in effect it was. This had to be the last time I put myself through this, the last time I was somewhere between loving him and hating myself and him for making me feel that way, nomad's land. Head bent, hands shoved into my coat pocket, I made my way down the street.
"Have fun at the cinema, Cherry!" Freya called after me.
God, if only she knew. I started off down the dark streets, my coat collar turned up and my hands deep in my pockets, as if I were looking for something. Hypothetically of course I was looking for something. I sighed at my thoughts, while deciding quietly to myself that I'd walk all the way to Jake's. He didn't live too far away, only roughly 10 minutes from the shelter if I power walked.
I got there in 20. God had taken it upon himself to ruin what was left of my day, and cover my head to toe in rain. My, once wavy hair, was straight and plastered to my face as well as my clothes, that were baggy, clung to my chilled skin. I knocked on Jake's door, shivering and praying that he'd come quickly. I didn't wait for the door to give an inch before I barrelled through and headed straight for the bedroom.
"Woah," Jake said from behind me, "You're soaked."
"You think I don't know that?" I growled, while pawing through his t-shirts.
I could hear the idiot laughing from behind me, but I chose to ignore him while I searched for something warm and dry to wear.
"Do you want me to go put the heating on full blast?"
I swung around to face him, my angry glare suddenly turning into a blush as I looked at him for the first time. All of my bravado sank into my wet shoes, and I found myself staring at the carpet.
"Is this state the obvious day?" I demanded, but my voice was not as strong as I willed it.
Jake held up his hands in surrender, "Jesus, you need to tame your hormones. I'll go put the heating on and make you soup."
I cringed at the idea of eating soup again, but made no complaints. Jake left the room and I instantly began to disrobe, replacing my wet clothes with boxers and a t-shirt. The shirt reached my mid thighs, mainly due to the 5'4 and 6'4 difference, I'd always been a runt, and the boxers touched my knees. I sighed heavily as I stared down at my work clothes that were now sitting on the radiator as if content with their day's job. Trust me to take my clothes off as soon as I set foot in Jake's house. Laughing to myself I slid out of the bedroom, and with bare feet, padded into the living room, making myself cosy on the sofa. I noted dully that my hair was still sopping wet, so to avoid any tangles I tied it up into a knot on the top of my head.
"Soup coming your way!" Jake called, strolling into the room with a tray of soup, bread and a bottle of wine in the other hand.
"That's more like it," I smacked my lips together for show, "Food on the table when I come back home from a hard day's work."
With a smile, I watched as my best friend laid the goods on the coffee table, then turn to me with a hand on his hips.
"Have you noticed honey? I did something different with my hair." His voice was shrill and his mannerisms over dramatic.
I snorted while reaching for my bowl. Well what do you know? "Tomato soup," I muttered under my breath. Jake didn't notice my comment, and if he did he didn't care, his food was his main priority. I dug into my own dinner, which tasted a lot better than the slop that I called breakfast. Mr greedy-guts had finished before me, and settled with watching my wipe the late clean with my bread, before eating it with a smile.
"So?" He prompted.
… "So?" I raised my brow at him, curling my feet up beneath me, "How are you?"
"Well better now you're here," he drew in a breath and my heart leapt, "I was pretty rough this morning. The break-up was so sudden."
"You never have a girlfriend for more that two months."
He frowned thoughtfully but nodded, "I know. I never thought I'd say this but I'm getting tired of flings, I just want a steady relationship for a bit, you know?"
My heart leapt faster as if it were trying to escape. I licked my dry lips and refused to meet his gaze, I could tell he was looking at me. I desperately needed to stay cool.
"Maybe," I started, "You're looking in the wrong place..."
It was Jake's turn to avoid my eyes.
-"I mean, maybe you should change where you're meeting these women. You could maybe try the internet? I hear there's dating sites for divorced people, you're bound to find someone there," I babbled.
I watched him nod slowly and then his face spread out into a smile.
"You're right!" He leaned over and gave me the biggest bear hug, "You have got to be the bestest friend. I'm so lucky I found you before any other loser did."
I ruffled his hair, making sure my actions didn't give away the fact that I was hyperventilating on the inside. Somehow we both ended up curled into each other while we watched a film. It'd always been like this, no matter how much it hurt me afterwards, in the moment I craved his touch. Aside from the TV, silence hung in the air and it seemed to becoming thicker and thicker, as if it were choking me. Suddenly something in the atmosphere changed, and I went from feeling claustrophobic to insanely heated but comfortable. I looked up at Jake from where I lay on his chest, he was staring back at me, his deep blue eyes intense and clouded over.
I felt my cheeks tinge pink and I started to turn away before her gently cup my chin, preventing me from doing so. All of a sudden I faces were getting closer together, and my heart was beating irregularly, to its own, private rhythm. Soon, there was literally an inch between out faces and I was sure Jake was about to kiss me. Unfortunately my life just didn't work out that way… a mysterious buzzing, coming from my low regions. seemed to build an invisible wall between us within seconds. Jake jumped back as if realisation had hit him as hard as it hit me. I scrambled clumsily for the source of the mysterious buzzing, and my best friend inched to his own side of the sofa, his face unreadable. I clutched at my phone, pressed a button and pressed it to my ear desperately as if I was drowning and it was a life ring.
"Hey!" a very un-recognisable, male voice chirped on the end.
"… Sorry, who is this?" I pulled my knees up to my chest refusing to look at Jake, I was mortified.
"Kenneth!" he laughed awkwardly, "We, er-met at the shelter… you gave me your number? I-I'm sorry you're probably busy."
"No, no!" I cleared my throat and sneaked a glance at Jake; he was staring at the TV. "I remember… how are you?"
"I'm great! How about you?"
I laughed sardonically, "I'm great."
"That's good. I was just calling to see if you were up for going out something this weekend? On like… a date?"
I felt a pang of guilt, as if I were caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. I was hesitant in replying Kenneth with Jake sitting right beside me, it felt wrong.
"Uh, sure," I reluctantly agreed, "Call me later okay? I'm out at the moment."
"That's fine. I'll call you later on then? Bye!"
"Bye!" I rang off, although hesitant to remove the phone from my ear.
Drawing in a breath, I geared myself up for the awkwardness yet to come. Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I also stared at the TV screen, not watching, but staring. The silence was deafening.
"Who was that?" the quite was shattered, but replaced with yet more awkward.
"Uh-just a guy I met at work."
Jack ruffled his hair, which he only did when he was scared or anxious. Guess which?
I shrugged, "He asked me out on a date."
I could feel Jake's gaze penetrating me, but I didn't look at him in return, "You gonna go out with him then?"
Only then did I look at him, "Why not?"
"Just asking," It was his turn to shrug.
"Right," I shifted in my seat, "I think I need to get back."
Jake grabbed my arm, and I tried to ignore the shivers that shot through it and then all around my body. "You should stay here, it's really dark out and I don't want you to get raped."
I forced a laugh, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," Jake chuckled deeply, "Yes, now come on!"
He started for the bedroom, expecting me to follow behind him. I did, dutifully, trying to ignore the sexy sway of his bum… easier said than done.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really apreicate it and I'm glad you're enjoying the story