|A New Light
Author: theStarfly PM
A collection of essays about random things in every day life. Not nearly as boring as it sounds, hopefully. NEWEST ESSAY: The Failures of the Romance Industry: Romance novels - where they go wrong. This essay is about both het and slash M/M novels!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,217 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 04-05-13 - Published: 06-19-10 - id: 2819588
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The Red Lobster Saga
For my birthday, I went to Red Lobster with dad, and had quite possibly the largest meal I have ever had. At least for quite a while.
I'm talking appetizer, salad, main meal, and everything. And with Red Lobster, you know I have to have had one of those absolutely fabulous cheddar cheese biscuits they innocently hand you at the beginning of the meal.
As if they don't know that you're so utterly addicted that you won't be able to manage not scarfing down the whole basket as though you haven't eaten in days.
Surprisingly, I managed to save myself this time- the basket was luckily placed far out of my reach on my dad's side of the table after I claimed my first tasty morsel.
The lobster pizza quickly followed along with a salad, a crunchy yet chewy and salty reminder of the tastiness that is Red Lobster food. Three and a half pieces and an entire bowl plate later, and it was hard to imagine there could be anything better.
However, the best was yet to come. Out came a steaming plate of a pound and a half of snowcrab legs. Now, a little known fact about myself is that ever since I was small, my father and I have had a sort of unspoken tradition of ordering snow crab legs. Being small, I would always only want to order a pound, but dad would insist on a pound and a half. I would generally end up eating the extra half, and dad would eat the pound, although as I grew I started to be able to hold my own.
On this particular night of my birthday, I must have eaten at least a pound and a quarter of delicious meaty snow crab legs dipped in warm melted butter, along with the mashed potatoes so conveniently located on the left side of the plate, so as to not drag your shirtsleeves in it (or at least, so I am inclined to think).
Anywho, needless to say, by the time dessert came around, I had absolutely NO room for anything else in my stomach. However, as everyone knows, Red Lobster has the most absolutely delicious Strawberry covered Cheesecake EVER. So, I ordered one to go for later when I wasn't so absolutely full that I wanted to puke.
Three days later, a message was delivered which destroyed my soul: there's mold on this piece of cheesecake, honey. Should I throw it out?
MOLD! ALAS, HOW COULD THIS BE? I shrieked. How could there be mold on my beloved cheesecake? Sure, I had forgotten to eat it, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to eventually! And so, distraught, I returned my beautiful uneaten moldy cheesecake to the dust from whence it came.
R. I. P.