My Life in Black and Blue

Chapter Seven: I Want it That Way

The following weeks were a bit of a blur, Bastian stuck around for a while and I even went with him to a couple of auctions and parties, and that was fun, it reminded me of what it had been like dating him when I had lived in Florence. There was not a dull moment with Bastian, he was exciting, cultured and liked a good party.

Having him around also made me think more and more about painting, he kept dropping hints about the art show his family was sponsoring and had his mother's secretary send me a complete package of information, it arrived the day after I drove Bastian to the airport and we said goodbye (for now, he promised).

Then, life started to get back to normal, Dean gave me the cold shoulder for a few days but he had never been good at staying mad at me. By then things were changing, sure as the seasons, but so slow that neither of us noticed at first.

It all started with a frantic call from Robin one Monday.

"You have to come down to the city for lunch," she said frantically over the phone. "I'm taking a long lunch and I need your help with something."

"All right," I said. "But are you okay? You sound weird."

"I'm just high on life. Meet me outside my office at noon!"

I looked at my phone after hung up, she sounded crazy. Robin was usually the voice of reason in our little group, the most down to earth and untouched by the fame monster. Even though she lived with Keith, she earned her own living as an accountant; she rarely went on tour with us because her job was based in L.A. and she couldn't care less that Keith was famous.

I got dressed and decided to make a day out of it, going down to L.A. early to run my own errands and maybe stop by the art supply store.

"Hey" I called out to Dean, who was already siting at the breakfast nook having coffee.

"Good morning," he answered. Pouring coffee into a second mug and handing it to me. "I couldn't sleep, I can't stop thinking of songs and lyrics. It's all swirling in my head."

"I know, I heard your guitar in the middle of the night." I mumbled.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"It's all right. I like to hear you play the acoustic, brings good memories."

Dean smiled, to let me know he felt the same way. "It reminds me of my dad." He said, and that was all he needed to say, the old guitar had been his father's and I knew it made him feel closer to him whenever he played it.

I reached across the table to squeeze his hand, Dean loved his parents but I knew that it was hard for him to talk about them, to even remember them sometimes as they had both died when he was just four years old. I sometimes wondered how much he really remembered and how much he had allowed Nana to fill his memory for him.

But such subjects were to heavy and dark for a morning so sunny, so I just changed the subject. "Robin wants me to meet her for lunch, so I'm going to go downtown earlier to run some errands, do you need me to do anything before I leave?"

"No, have fun. Just drive carefully." He said, taking his cup of coffee and standing up. "I'm going to work on some lyrics before the guys get here. Call me when you're with Robin, to know you got there safe."

"Yes, sir." I said as he patted my head a little absentmindedly.

I tried to smile at him but he wasn't even looking, so I just let the smile die.

"Take my car," Dean called, "Yours is unsafe."

"It's not unsafe, just old." I called back.

"It wouldn't be if you let me buy you a new one." He said off-handedly and that annoyed me for some reason. A lot of things Dean said were starting to irk me of late, making me feel trapped somehow.

"Dean," I said more seriously, following him into the den, "You pay me for working for you, I don't need more than that. And I would really appreciate it if you stopped offering to buy me stuff. You might not like my car but it has served me – and you – pretty well for the last eight years."

"I just want to do something nice for you, gee."

"Babe, I'm not your minion. Buying things doesn't equal doing something nice for me."

Dean grinned. "I love it when you call me, Babe. Makes me feel so sexy." He said, trying to divert me but I glared at him, trying not to laugh, but he reached for me and gave me a big hug, keeping me folded tight against him. "I don't think you're my minion, Tessie. Love you too much to have minion-like thoughts about you."

"You better."

"I just want to make your life easier."

"Well… you can stop leaving your shoes all over the house, I'm always tripping over them at night. And maybe we could sound proof my room because I can hear your snores sometimes."

"I don't snore." Dean said, giving me an extra squeeze. "Now, run along and stop making up lies."

"Not a lie if you believe it." I said sticking me tongue out.

.

I was feeling a bit better after talking to Dean – like he loved it when I called him Babe, I loved it when he said he love me – but I still took my car downtown, you know, it was the principle of the thing.

Robin was waiting for me in the lobby of her building, and even from afar I would see her quivering with excitement. "Finally!" She said when she saw me, going to give a hug,

"Sorry, I was running some errands, and it always takes you forever to leave your office."

"Not now, we have an appointment."

"You mean like a reservation? Which restaurant?"

"No, not a restaurant." Robin said and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I… well," She began but cut herself off and simply held out her hand,

The sun caught in the ring she was wearing and I had to look away, "Blind me why don't you?" I said, looking away for a moment before I could look at the ring properly. It was a perfect, princess cut three-carat white diamond. "Is this what I think it is?"

Robin squealed and jumped up and down. "Keith asked me last Saturday! I wanted to call you sooner but it's not the kind of thing I would say on the phone and we spent all weekend… together, so I couldn't call you to come over until today that I got to the office. I'm so excited."

She began to squeal and jump and I squealed and jumped along. "I'm so happy for you," I managed to get out.

Robin hugged me again and then pulled back, "Alright, now, the appointment! Come along. You're my maid on honor you know."

"Am I?" I said.

"Of course you are, you're my best friend. Now get moving, I had to pull some serious strings to get this appointment! Vera Wang awaits for no one!"

.

Thanks to one of the most awful driving jobs I've ever had the misfortune to be part of, Robin had us at Vera Wang's in Melrose in no time at all. Since other than my sister, Robin was pretty much the only female friend I had, I was woefully unprepared for the wedding-crazy that ensued.

Robin tried on about six dresses while I complained about being hungry and how she had to return to her office soon, but she just called to her office and said she was having cramps and going home early.

"What about my food?"

"Once we found the dress, I'll take you for a late lunch." She said, trying on dress number 7.

"Do you really think you're going to find The Dress today? And what's the hurry anyway?"

"Oh, well. Keith wants us to get married before going into the studio for the next album, so we have time to get away and be alone for a while, so the wedding has to happen a bit quickly, like in about six weeks."

"Six weeks?" I cried, "Are you even sure they'll have your dress ready in six weeks?" I asked, knowing from many hours of watching Say Yes to the Dress that alterations can take surprisingly long time.

"Yeah, I asked. They'll have it ready but I have to pick it up today." Robin called from the dressing room. "Trust me, once I have the dress, everything will flow."

Three dresses later, it flowed.

Dress number 10 was the charmed. It was a princess' dress but for a modern princess. With a full skirt made out of pristine tulle, and a tightly fitted top, finished with a sash of lavender-gray at the waist.

Once The Dress was declared The One, Robin was surrounded by a flurry of seamstress checking to see what adjustments needed to be done – mostly tweaks for fit and maybe shortening the gown a little since, while Robin had a nice shape and all, statuesque she was not, and the bottom of the dress dragged a little.

Robin happily made a follow up appointment for the next week – and cheerfully informed me we were getting my maid of honor dress then.

"I can't believe I just bought my wedding dress!" Robin said as she waltzed down the sidewalk toward a nearby bistro she swore was good.

"I can't believe you're so cleverly disguised as a responsible adult." I said back.

"Oh hush, when you get marry you'll be twice as crazy as me." Robin said, humming to herself until she stopped suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. "You're a little bit too snappy today. What's up with that?"

I sighed, "Had a semi-fight with Dean. Basically told him it made me feel like a minion each time he offered to buy me stuff. I don't think he does it consciously, but lately I've been edgy around him."

Robin sighed and grabbed my arm, so that we walked side by side. "I don't condone what he did but I sort of understand the money thing." She said. "He feels threatened because your friend Bastian has more money than him. And you do accept his expensive gifts, but you won't accept Dean's."

"Bastian has more money than anyone I've heard of, he could be one of those billionaires Harlequin keeps going on and on about. For him money is like this thing he doesn't care much about, it's not a big deal for him."

"I would say so. He sent me a huge arrangement of flowers for talking you into wearing the white dress to your date. Seriously, I don't even know how he got my address."

I shrugged, "He does seem to know things."

"Very Italian mafia, don't you think?" "She said playfully. "Anyway, Dean feels threatened so he tries to over compensate. Plus, you're bored with being his assistant and are chaffing at the position, so everything he says irritates you somehow."

"Everyone knows it's not my dream job, but if I don't take care of him, who will?"

"He's 27, he can take care of himself." Robin said. "You have the lovely quality of caring, genuinely caring, for other people, Tess, but you have to learn to put yourself first, something you've only managed to do once or twice when it comes to Dean. You, too, need to be taken care of, by yourself."

"I hate it when you're right." I said.

"But you love me when I feed you!" She said grandly as we entered the restaurant.

I didn't comment, and I didn't have to, by the time we were scanning the menu, her head as full of Wedding again, and we let the conversation drop.

For now, anyway.

-000-

End of Chapter Seven.