Mother's POV

The high school was over twenty years old, one of the oldest in the area, and it was the only place Ellen didn't want to go. It was were the accident had happened prior that month, a date that she could not quite comprehend as it still brought chills to her bones and made all her fears return with a dark gripping lure of awaiting death. With a deep breath she stared straight ahead into the night waiting for something to tell her that sitting in her daughter's High School parking lot with the car idling was a bad and very unwanted welcome to the stress she was feeling in the pit of her stomach. Ellen Parker did not need the aching pain of leaving the students hard work for nothing more than show to others who came to watch; when this was meant for her benefit and her daughter, Julia Parker.

"I need to go in." the voice was wispy and very foreign in her light-headed brain before a sudden calm – a quick and very abrupt pull from reality – pushed her to shut the car off and walk into the cold-chilly winter air and into the auditorium of the Lothian High School.

As her two inch heels clanked against the cement before coming to a stop nearly ten feet from her parked car was enough to tell her there was no turning back when her thin pale fingers gripped the handle and pulled. A clanking noise caught her attention and she exhaled a soft chuckle as a few tears slipped down her eyes and she moved to the next door opening it; it gave way easily to her tug. A taunting feeling over came her with dread as she walked in opening the second door and her heels hit the tiled floor with a loud echoing slam that brought her eyes to look at the table in front of the Auditorium four main doors. Sitting at the table where two well dressed students who she had not yet met.

"My names Ellen Parker…" she said hesitantly hoping that by saying her name it would become more real in her mind- this benefit.

"Mrs. Parker!" the teen's both stood up and titled their head in a show of respect she didn't feel she needed. "You can go in, so don't worry about paying." she nodded at them before opening the door in a silent manner, not wanting to disturb anyone on the other side, before one of them said, "The play started a while ago, just to let you know, Mrs. Parker."

"Thanks." As she walked in the only thing she saw was a table sitting against the wall, a wall that supported the stages control room that Julia had been extremely happy to finally be allowed to work in after three years of Junior High and a year under wing from a senior Technician, Julian. The boy had been the one to first find Julia. A sharp intake of breath pulled her eyes shut as she turned her head abruptly to look at the right side and she walked, determined with her back straight, to get this over with and head home to finish cleaning Julia's room.

As she came to the opening she finally heard the music, though she knew that it had been there as a faint grainy background noise, which forced a lump into her throat causing her to choke. She looked up at the stage her eyes not seeing the packed full auditorium but she saw those who Julia knew, those who Ellen had met constantly when her daughter had decided to hang out and support the other groups at the old falling apart school Ellen's daughter went to.

Her eyes stung as they landed on Lindy, a first seat second violinist who had been kind enough to help her daughter learn a simple song on a piano a year back. The noise had bothered Ellen so often when her daughter would wake up at six in the morning to practice a particular part she couldn't get the night before. It was no end to the horrible off key notes! She laughed, Julia eventually did learn the song and she played it with Lindy, who used her violin, at a contest on Lindy's request. They received fifth place out of twenty-five students.

She turned her attention away from Lindy and saw the conductor, from the angle she was at only the back of his balding head, and she smiled at his goofy purple jacket and dress pants. It was just the thing he wore, including the occasions, and it soothed Ellen's nerves. Purple had been Julia's favorite color. Her eyes wandered over to the first seats, where Jack Baker was suppose to be, and instead her eyes rested onto Julian's with surprise.

"Julian?" she whispered before looking around and she could not find anyone near her who had a pamphlet, something she knew she should have grabbed in the first place from the two at the table, and she walked down the middle ally to a man in his late fifties before asking if she could see the pamphlet for a few moments. He agreed, if only to return his attention back to the stage she saw, and looked at the name for the first seat. Yes Baker was to play first seat not Julian, who she didn't even knew played any instruments.

"Thank you sir." She said handing it back which he roughly just grabbed from her hand before she walked back to her seat and sat down and watched at the music turned into a garbled mess. The band was playing blues, or maybe Jazzy, and the orchestra was playing a tune that made her heart feel painfully tight. She tried to shake off the feeling but she couldn't; all the way as the big screen behind the band showed a few pictures of Julia and Lindy, Julia with the foot ball team covered in their gear as she tried to pretend she was a member, and her with Julian. They looked so happy together. Then she heard Julia's voice coming from the over head system.

It was Julia's voice. "Hurry up, their playing!" she spoke, at the same time she sounded like she was laughing. Another clip of her voice came forward from a different moment, "Hurry up and grab the polka music so we can get the party started!" she couldn't say anything before the picture's faded out and Julia's picture shown down, her hair tidy and her green dress shirt smooth; the perfect High school photo for her freshman year that Julia fussed over that whole morning, silly girl.

She watched the group longer; she had long ago ruined her mascara wiping her eyes to rid herself of their salty stinging tears. She felt content, the music had Julia's flair and personality like Lind and Ms. Thinderson said it would, and it she knew they had put their well worth time into making it. After all, Julia was a fair contributor to Ms. Tinderson's lack of Technology adequacy. It was the main reason why both the band and the orchestra were so keen on this benefit being held in her honor.

Slowly she watched the play fold out; Julian stood up along with Lindy and they left threw the right side of the stage. She watched, confusion, and slowly she heard what sound like a crash from that side. Fear ripped her heart as she leaned forward, trying to see what had happened to either Lindy or Julian. Time seemed to drag on for her eternity did Julian walk back on stage, though he looked ill and his attire was roughed up as if he was in a scruff.

"Julian…" she whispered his name and she wondered how he was feeling, playing this lead in the benefit.

Slowly the music sounded conflicted, all of them seemed to be targeting Julian, Ellen noticed. They almost seemed to refuse to allow him to play with them, their notes changed when Julian matched them; the band continued to play their own music. Ellen frowned and she knew it was a persecution. Julian was being 'stoned' by the music until he alone played.

It was his last desperate cry for forgiveness, one Ellen didn't understand, and she watched the orchestra file out leaving the Band playing and Julian standing on the stage, also playing. She watched as a group of football players came out and picked up the chairs and stands, before the stage was bare, almost.

Murmurs shot through the crowd making the question on everyone's mind known: What had happened back stage to make such a drastic and hateful change in the others. Time passed with just the band and Julian on stage playing before even the band stopped, at this time the conductor turned, bowed, and left the stage and its occupants.

Again the murmur returned, it was unheard of for the conductor to leave and yet, though he was not leading the music with the flicking of his wrist, Julian still played even though the band slowly set down their own instruments and walked forward, wrapping around him, pushing him forward.

Then he, too, stopped. Lowering his violin he looked at the audience with a sad, nearly heart-wrenching smile, and he turned on his heel and faced the band. Then one walked forward and extended his arms and Julian obliged as he gave him his violin; with a quick bow from them they file suit out the right part of the stage and Julian was left, his back to the crowd, and Ellen wondered if he was crying as she noticed a fine shiver in his shoulders.

Julian walked to the microphone and picked it up, his voice shaky, and spoke, "Thank you for coming, the orchestra and band, along with all the other groups who helped put this play together, hope you've enjoyed this." He paused there a moment as his eyes landed on Ellen's in the back and she saw the moment of hesitation in his face, her body tensed as a feeling of fear slung her heart to a stop.

Julian nodded, a pathetic smile on his face, as he walked to the part of the stage that Ellen remembered held the orchestra pit, and slowly she remembered that the orchestra was too small.

"No…" Ellen said hoarsely, but she stood up on legs that where nearly too weak to hold her, and she slowly walked forward toward Julian as he bowed.

The crowd was silent as they watched her, some who knew her others who didn't, and turn to look at Julian's still bowing body.

"No…" her voice came out stronger, her stride quickening.

"JULIAN STOP!" Ellen shouted, but it had been far too late as his body fell down head first into the cement floor nearly ten feet down.

The crowd stood up, some screamed, other confused. Yet they all knew something was wrong as Ellen dropped to the ground crying, screaming out Julian's name, crying out her daughter's , and the crowd felt the cold chill of her screams, tears, and the knowledge of what Julian had done.

Ellen Parker cried on the floor as time passed by, yet she felt two strong hands pull her into a hug, and she heard Lindy, Baker, the teacher's, and the crowd, but it was Julian's voice that reached her the most, "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Baker, I'm so sorry." His voice held the tears she also had been crying. "It's my fault, I… it's my fault. I'm sorry."