Note: I quite like the name Peaches for a character. It just seems too out there for a real person though...

"Peaches Keane, why are you so late?" Mrs Crawford demanded to know, pointing a bony finger in my face. I checked the clock fixed on the wall at the front of the class: I was an hour and forty minutes late. I gulped. She'd never believe me. Mrs Crawford was incredibly old; she had to have been around to say 'what's up' to the dinosaurs. She didn't put up with any nonsense from any of her students and I'd already learned that the hard way. My month's worth of detention was testament to that fact. I briefly looked across the sea of brain-dead faces sitting in their respective seats. Not that I'm calling any of them vegetables – Mrs Crawford's voice seemed to have that sort of effect on us. It just droned on so much that even the brightest student in the class – like my best friend Claire – was contemplating suicide during the first five minutes of the lesson.

"Well? I'm waiting!" Mrs Crawford snapped. I didn't have a choice. There was no way she was going to rest until I gave her an explanation and Mrs Crawford undoubtedly wanted the truth: she could smell a lie from a mile away. I cleared my throat, trying to look the business. It was a long story, after all.

"Mrs Crawford, a funny thing happened to me on my way to school this morning...

I'd woken up all normal like. You know, all my body parts were there and everything. I didn't even have a bad hair day – watch it, Magellan. I see that laugh you're trying to stifle. There's nothing wrong with my ha– yes Mrs Crawford, I'll get to the point.

Everything was normal until I left my house. I was on time too – oh very funny Mrs Crawford, but I was. Usually I met Claire at the bus stop round the corner but my dad had left in such a hurry he'd forgotten to give me the money for the bus. I had to walk to school but I thought, 'hm, not a problem since I've got loads of time'. I started off in the direction of school and because I had years to get to school, thought I'd pop into the newsagents to see what they had. Yes Mrs Crawford, I'm aware I said I didn't have any money for the bus. I didn't, however, say anything about not having any money for sweets.

I bought myself a lollipop – no, not this one, I'll tell you about this one in a minute – and browsed through a magazine for a bit. I'm ashamed to say I got distracted– Mrs Crawford, I don't appreciate that. What do you mean you're 'not surprised'?! I do not have a short attenti–

Are you wearing new shoes today, Aiden? They look pretty cool...

Sorry Mrs Crawford! I'll get back to it. I read the magazine in the corner where the cashier guy couldn't see me and tell me to shove off. See, I knew I wasn't the only person that happened to! Anyway, I left the shop in a hurry 'cause I realised I was going to be late unless I ran all the way to school and took short cuts. I knew how disappointed you would be if I was late again this week, Mrs Crawford, so I did whatever it took. I sprinted up the road – even the big hill – and was only near the park when there was three minutes left until school. I didn't have a chance of making it on time but I thought I might at least make it within the five minute boundary – you know, if a kid is late by five minutes then it's technically not seen as late. So I was at the entrance to the park and was considering cutting across – it was more direct but I didn't fancy running into any of those old weirdoes who sometimes liked to kidnap school kids for a lark – when a car pulled up next to me and asked if I was going to Rosebow Secondary School. I edged closer – close enough to get a good look at the driver but far away enough to make a run for it if they tried to snatch me up – and saw that it was a mum and a kid a little younger than us lot.

Turns out the kid was starting his first day here and his mum wanted to offer me a lift, seeing as how I was late and every thing. I thought 'why not?' I mean, they seemed legit. The kid even had our uniform on and there's not a lot you can do to forge this much ugly. Sorry Mrs Crawford, I shall try to refrain from putting down our hideous uniforms that our head teacher has so kindly forced upon us for the sole purpose of making us want to go on a killing spree. What do you mean my angelic smile isn't fooling you? It fools my dad enough times. Oh, okay Mrs Crawford lighten up. Yeah, I'll get to the point.

We drove along the road in the right direction so I wasn't worried. I figured I'd get there well within the five minute boundary and was sitting back on the leather car seat, enjoying the ride. Let me tell you, that car was not shabby at all. The kid told me his name was Peter and he looked like the wimp– Nah, you're right Mrs Crawford. This isn't really relevant. Sorry. He was holding this lollipop in his hand and yeah, that part's very relevant.

We were stopped at a red light when they came for us. Around six black vans just swarmed in out of nowhere, some of them with those little satellite dishes on top. I thought 'cool, they must be filming or something'. Only, they weren't filming. They started driving after us at top speed and Peter's mum looked nervous. We were almost at the school at this point and the black vans were closing in. I didn't think much of it since we were almost here. I thought I'd jump out and that would be it, 'bye-bye Peter and his mum, see ya', you know?

But then Peter's mum swerved to the left away from the school and I knew then that I'd never make it to school within the five minute boundary. Peter's mum picked up the speed – we had to be doing around seventy in a thirty mile zone – and the black vans didn't hesitate to up their game either. They were hot on our trail and I was just sitting in the back, hanging on to my seat belt for dear life. I was screaming and carrying on but Peter's mum wasn't even fazed, she just had this determined look on her face like she was going to do whatever it took to lose the black vans. Peter was practically bouncing in his seat; he kept gabbling on about 'finally seeing his mum in action' or something.

Peter's mum was a well reckless driver, let me tell you. She went through red lights, flew over speed bumps – there was even a time she drove on the pavement! I swear, I actually thought I was gonna die. And that wasn't even the worst of it. The black vans opened their windows suddenly and then they were shooting at us! Bullets were flying every where and Peter's mum was going crazy trying to serpentine her way down the roads. It was madness. Yelled at her a lot, I did. Demanded to know who she was.

We came to the river – you know, where the bridge is under construction? – and instead of slowing down, Peter's mum sped right up! She must have been doing one hundred and twenty by now and we soared across that broken bridge like nothing. It was definitely a movie moment. The wind whistled past and it was almost like slow motion. For a second I thought we were going to make it to the other side.

We didn't make it to the other side. We got about a third of the way before the car started nose-diving towards the river. Peter's mum hollered at us to climb out and grab on to the roof and we managed to do it just before the car made impact on the water. I think I must've hit my head 'cause next thing I knew I was waking up and I was on the river bank, coughing up water. Peter's unopened lollipop was lying next to me so I pocketed it, you know, for evidence and made my way to school. Had to beg a bus driver to let me on for free and when he saw the state I was in – river water had drenched me good and proper – took pity on me and let me hitch a ride. I sat at the back where the engine was so I'd feel the heat and get a bit dry and got off near the church, which was as far as the bus went. I had to walk the rest of the way. I was just glad its hot out or I would still be wet. Luckily I had a comb with me so I fixed up my hair as best I could, so I guess Magellan, you've got a right to laugh.

"And this is proof of it all." I held up the lollipop for everyone to see. Blank faces stared back at me. No-one moved. No-one even blinked. I lowered my hand but still no-one twitched. I didn't know what else to do so I looked at Mrs Crawford. She had a funny look on her withered face. It was all tight and strained. I asked her if she was okay. Her mouth twisted upwards and then she did an amazing thing. Something no-one had ever witnessed Mrs Crawford do in all her hundred years of teaching: she cracked up into peals of laughter.

The rest of the class soon followed suit – even Claire. I was a laughing stock. Don't get me wrong, I'm used to people laughing at me because I pride myself in being the token 'class clown'. But this...this was different. I wasn't trying to make them laugh. I was being open and honest with them but they all thought it was one big joke. I could have understood that from Mrs Crawford but Aiden, Claire and the others?

In a huff I sat down behind my desk, purposefully avoiding everyone's eyes. It was a good ten minutes before they all calmed down and Mrs Crawford looked directly at me and for a moment I thought she believed me. But then she said:

"Oh and Peaches? Another week of detention for such an elaborate story." I should have seen it coming.