Made: Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Time: 4:37am

--

It's something I think about

From time to time

And sometimes I wonder

If you notice it, too.

But I know you don't.

And you wanna know how

I know?

Because I know everything

About you, but

If I happened to ask you

(Like I would)

Anything about me that

Was anymore complicated than

My favorite color

(It's blue, all I ever wear),

I know

You would stutter

And grow quiet;

Then laugh it off

To break the awkward silence

Between us.

I would then

Laugh with you

Because I knew you would

Do something just like that.

You know

What I find funny?

You're fake

You're rude

You over-react

You're obnoxious

You're complanative

You're bi-polar

And you always come to me

With your problems,

In which I listen to

(Not pretending to, either)

And nod my head

And help you out.

When was the last time

You ever did this for me?

(I couldn't say)

Yet, somehow, someway

I just can't seem to make it

Anywhere in this world

While you just keep on

Moving up, up, up,

Oblivious to your shadow

(Who happens to

Be me).

All our friends you

Claim you don't have?

(Which is completely untrue).

Those aren't our friends.

Those are YOUR friends.

Nobody ever wants to be

With me just

To be with me,

They only hang with me

Because I just

HAPPEN to be with you;

Like I always seem

To be.

I guess what

Really set me off

(Aside from our many

Silent confrontations

And all those looming frustrations

I have because of you)

Was what a 'friend'

Said to me today.

I know

You didn't hear it.

"You're just the background character."

So now I'm your

Stupid, little sidekick.

I look back and wonder

When did this happen?

Then I realize,

It was always like this.

Because somehow,

You always end up

Better than me

('Modestly' pretending not

To notice)

And I always end up

As the side-kick

That gets dumped to the curb

And jumps to follow your

Every ignorant step

To help you along

The way

When I can't even

Manage to help myself.

It's you that's holding

Me back, but

I know

I know

You don't have

Any clue at all.

And I'm not going

To do a thing about it.

--

Oh, and there's more. But, man, I needed to get that out. Sick of hearing about so-called best friends. Sick of adhering to her every needy whim. I may not be much to her, however, but she's all I really have, even if it's...this. So I have to keep hanging on.