|Getting Sick From Bieber Fever
Author: ItWasOnlyADream PM
OMG! Tiffani, is, like, totally in love with Justin Bieber. But he doesn't even know who she is! That's a major problem. So Tiffani will stop at nothing to be reunited with the love of her life! Warning: Written by a person who does not like Justin BieberRated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 25,370 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 08-21-12 - Published: 07-26-10 - id: 2832288
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Like, OMG, Being in that totally—totally—DARK closet was, like, SO scary and worst of all, there was NO JUSTIN BIEBER inside. That was seriously a nightmare. Tiffani remembered before when that mean Walmart person who SO did not deserve to have to same name as JUSTIN BIEBER beat her up because Tiffani was stealing evil Mackenzie's limited edition pink sparkly BieberPack backpack! It was totally limited edition! Did she say that already?
But now she was totally out of that horrible closet and was going to steal the Justin Bieber tickets, which were so hers, because Mackenzie was evil and should go back to day care where there was no Justin Bieber, because Justin Bieber was falling in love with Tiffani.
Tiffani followed Kelsi into a room. "Where are we gooooooing?" Tiffani whined as she traveled a whopping six steps to where Kelsi was standing. "I TOTALLY hate exercising…like, a lot. You know? OMG!"
"This is Mackenzie's room," Kelsi replied.
Tiffani put her hands on her hips. "Oh, YEAH? Like, OMG, how do you know? OMG!"
Kelsi rolled her eyes and pointed to a sign on the door that said Mackenzie's room. Do not enter unless you are Justin Bieber here to marry me.
Ashli entered Mackenzie's bedroom. "Seriously, I'm soooooooooooo jealous right now."
Tiffani looked at Ashli strangely, then realized why with a gasp. The entire room was covered wall-to-ceiling-to-floor with Justin Bieber posters. A fluffy alpaca-fur Justin Bieber limited edition rug lay next to a bed with a BieberSleep comforter on top, along with a dozen BieberFluffy pillows. Every inch of the room was covered in Justin Bieber memorabilia. That is, except Mackenzie's desk, which had a piece of paper with a picture of Tiffani's face on it. Mackenzie had evidently drawn devil horns, a mustache, and a unibrow with a Sharpie on Tiffani's face.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Tiffani screamed. "LOOK AT THIS! OMG! I HATE HER!"
Kelsi walked over and gasped. "That can't be good."
"I KNOWWWWWW!" Tiffani wailed. "My hair looks soooooo bad! OMG!"
For the millionth time that day, Kelsi rolled her eyes. She opened the closet and yelped. Ashli scurried over to where she was.
"WHAT?" Tiffani snapped. She was still totally not over that seriously horrible photograph. The only thing that would cheer her up would be knowing where the Justin Bieber tickets were.
"Come here," Kelsi waved her over. "I think I know where the Justin Bieber tickets are."
"OMG!" Tiffani yelled. She ran over to the closet and knelt down next to Kelsi, who was fiddling with a large safe. Which was padlocked, of course.
Kelsi took Ashli's bobby pin and used it to open the padlock. She swung the safe door open. Tiffani gasped, screamed with happiness, and then started crying. Next to her, Kelsi and Ashli were also sobbing their sparkly-eye-shadow-covered eyes out.
Why? There were three of them, and there were only TWO tickets to the Justin Bieber concert in the safe. Even Tiffani could do the math.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEE!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO JUSTIN BIEBER DON'T WORRY, YOUR FUTURE WIFE, ME, WILL BE THERE! WHO CARES ABOUT MY FRIENDS; THEY'RE SOOOOOOOOO NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU BECAUSE OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Tiffani lunged forward, grabbed one of the tickets, and kissed it, leaving a sticky pink lip print over the bar code.
"LIKE, NO! THAT'S SOOOO NOT FAIR!" Kelsi screamed, all traces of earlier smartness gone. She punched Tiffani square in the face, causing Tiffani's nose to gush blood and Tiffani to drop the ticket. Kelsi swiped it off the ground.
"OMG, KELSI! HOW COULD YOU, LIKE, TOTALLY DO THIS TO ME?" Tiffani yelled, pulling Kelsi's hair and slapping her face. Kelsi grabbed Tiffani's hand, bit her wrist, and started pulling her hair also.
"NOOOOOOOO!"Tiffani screamed, "NOT MY HAIR! NOW IT'S TOTALLY SERIOUS!"
Kelsi and Tiffani wrestled on the ground for a few minutes with utmost hate. Meanwhile, Kelsi dropped the ticket she was holding on the ground. Ashli picked it up, smiled, and exclaimed, "Yay! Now I have two!"
She waved the tickets around gleefully, which caused Tiffani and Kelsi to stop fighting and stare at her.
"OMG, Ashli, I'm, like, your bestest ever friend, like, ever! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease give me the ticket because I'm, like, your bestest friend ever! OMG!" Tiffani begged.
Kelsi pushed Tiffani away from Ashli. "Come on, Ashli, Tiffani's really stupid. GIVE ME THE TICKET!"
"NOOOOOOO!" Tiffani screeched. "It was totally Kelsi's idea to dye your hair that seriously hideous black color! GIVE IT TO ME!"
Ashli gasped. "Tiffani, I seriously hate you FOREVER!" Then she started crying.
Tiffani was bewildered. "What did I do? OMG!"
Ashli curled up in the fetal position, clutching the tickets and sucking her thumb. "YOU CALLED MY HAIR HIDEOUS! I HATE YOU EVEN THOUGH I TOTLLY DON'T KNOW, LIKE, WHAT 'HIDEOUS' MEANS! I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING BAD; I'M NOT STUPID!"
Kelsi said, "It's okay, Ashli. You should never give someone a JB concert ticket if they call your hair 'hideous'."
"You're totally right!" Ashli sat up, realizing something profound. She gasped. "So that means I should give the other ticket to…KELSI!"
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Kelsi screamed, taking the ticket out of Ashli's hand and hugging her. "YOU'RE MY NEW BEST FRIEND!"
"I HATE YOU, LIKE, LIKE, SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! LIKE, OMG!" Tiffani bawled, pounding her not-so-well-manicured-anymore fists on the ground. "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Ashli and Kelsi looked at Tiffani, suddenly, like, so sorry that Tiffani didn't have a ticket anymore. Or maybe they just wanted her to stop making so much noise. Either way, Ashli had a rare original idea.
"I have a totally good idea!" she cried. "So, like, I saw on TV that you can just put something in a copying machine and, like, COPY it!" She smiled at her genius idea.
"OMG, THAT'S TOTALLY, SERIOUSLY, LIKE THE BEST IDEA EVER!" Tiffani cried, jumping up and down and hugging Ashli and Kelsi. "WHERE'S A, LIKE, COPYING THINGY? IS THERE ONE IN THIS, LIKE, HOUSE?"
The trio paraded out of the bedroom, leaving the alpaca-fur Justin Bieber limited edition rug with a few bloodstains, the unlocked safe door wide open, and the picture of Tiffani with the unattractive facial hair shredded on the desk. (Tiffani had done that, by the way.)
Other than that, there was no sign at all that anyone had broken into Mackenzie's bedroom.
Tiffani, Kelsi and Ashli walked around the house for a few minutes, looking for a copy machine. They found one in an office across from Mackenzie's room.
"It looked totally different on TV," Ashli whined.
"Well, TOO BAD," Tiffani snapped.
Since Kelsi was the only smart person there, she was the one that copied the ticket. It hurt Tiffani's brain to watch with all the smartness and whatever, so she closed her eyes. A few minutes later, Kelsi was holding three tickets to the Justin Bieber concert.
She held all three up in front of Tiffani. "Can you tell them apart?" she asked.
"OMG, no! They all look the same!" Tiffani cried, even as she looked at the ticket with her pink lip prints on it.
Kelsi looked at the copy machine. It was incredibly sticky with pink sparkly lip gloss. "Maybe I shouldn't have copied that ticket," she said regretfully. "Well, we should clean it off so that it looks, like, normal again."
Then, suddenly, all three girls heard a door slam. A little girl's voice rang out. "DADDY, I'M HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!"
"OMG, it's evil Mackenzie! RUN!" Tiffani whisper-shouted. She, Kelsi, and Ashli climbed out of a window in the room like total ninjas.
As they exited the house, they heard Mackenzie scream. "I think she's found her unconscious dad right now," Kelsi said. "RUN!"