Chapter 1

June 1992

It has been a year now since mom and I moved to Montana. A year since the death of my little sister Kati, and my dad Nickolas. A car crashed took away my joy and my moms. So here, I am living in a town called Keansburg.

After dad died, mom called her best friend Vivian Kirk and asked if she could help us in some way. Vivian allowed mom and I to move in to the apartment build with in the mansion. My new home is a an apartment inside a mansion. I hate it here in Montana. There's nothing to do here except go horse back ridding. I'd rather live in a regular house in L.A, a place where my old life was then this place. I guess this is home. I will never like it here!

Peter Rice

Its the summer of 1992. I'm only eight years old.

Soon after the tragedy my mom Sara and I moved to Montana. The air was cool, never hot or cold. A town that had ranches and farms and lakes all over. The closet neighbor was at lest twenty minutes of a drive.

The Kirk family have a mansion. The mansion is so big its unrealistic someone could have a house this big. Mom and I live in the apartment with in the mansion. Its like they have this big house and then you reach the end of the mansion and you have a small house build right in it. It has its own living area. Its kinda cool.

So this the Kirks have a daughter. Her name is Hayley, she's five now. She has soft brown hair, her dimples lit up half the room. She has blue eyes that caught anyone whenever people looked into her eyes her eyes looked almost fake. It was like staring into the face of woman that had some kind on curse over you. She maybe a kid, but she was nothing but a spoiled brat to me.

Here I stand on the back porch watching her on the trampoline. She bounced up and down. Laughter filled the air.

"Hayley Kirk steps up at the floor. She is set to do a double layout. Remember this name forever because today she's going to make Olympic history," Hayley laughed on the trampoline.

Her long hair blew against the wind gracefully. She was like a fairy on the wind as she did the sport she loved. It made Sick to my stomach. Watching her was always so entertaining. Its kinda cool to see kids move like rubber. I hate it here in more ways than one!

"Hi Peter." she smiled from her yard. She kept jumping up and down.

"Hi Hail's." I said back at her with an aggravated smile.

I couldn't help himself. I know to others I seem bitter. I am, Life sucks.

Vivian Kirk was coming towards her daughter. Hayley's mom was tall, lean and had dark long brown hair like her daughter. She has the body of a supermodel. My mom said its because Vivian was an Olympic Rhythmic Gymnast way back when she was in high school. Gold medalist if I recall mom telling me.

"Someday you'll be that girl." Hailey's mother Vivian smiled.

She had been keeping an eyes in her daughter. She was listening to Hayley's little Olympic moment.

She walked towards her daughter playing happily.

"Come one you're going to be late for gymnastic" her mom held her hand towards her.

"Do you think I can go that far momma?" she asked. Her feet hit the mats.

Vivian smiled sweetly "I think you can go as far as you want to go. Just put your mind and heart to it."

"Good because someday the head judge is gunna put a medial around me neck, and I'll be known through out gymnastic history." Hailey smiled letting her dimples shine. I listened to the conversation.

She had talent as a gymnast, but she also had heart for the sport. All I could see was a girl who didn't care about anything else except stupid gymnastics.

"Where are my girls?" a man voice said from a far. His deep blue eyes searched for the small person on their yard. He looked just barley twenty nine.

Adam Kirk was a lawyer for people who had money. Vivian, made clothes from her home for people who couldn't afford clothes. She often made clothes for me.

Hayley's eyes lit up on the sight of her father. The daddy's girls most little girls are. The daddy's girl Kati us to be.

"Daddy your home" Hayley smiled running towards her father.

Without a hint of struggle he picked up his daughter with ease. Joseph, whom everyone called Joey, her older brother was behind his father.

"Hi Joey" she smiled patting her brother in his shoulder.

"Sup kid" Joey smiled leaning up to kiss his sister in the cheek.

Joey was older than Hayley by five years. Yet I never saw them fighting. He was the big brother that cared about everyone.

I us to be that brother. Why did these people live my old life. Its not fair.

They loved each other very much. Adam and Vivian Kirk always got along. Maybe it was because the family had a close relationship with higher power. They just loved each other. No one ever saw the happy couple disagreed on anything. Ever.

I often went with the Kirk family to church like my dad and mom us to. Yet I always held myself back. I was angry at God for taking my dad and sister from mom and I. its just so unfair. People undeserving live for years, and people that are kind to others are the ones that end up wounded for life. What the heck it up with that?

"Peter." Adam Kirk said.

I shook my head slightly. Coming back to the present.

Adam putting Hayley gently on the ground.

"We're taking Hayley to her meet. Would you like to come to watch her in action?" Adam asked kindly

"Sure I'll go." I replied. At least it will get me off this ranch for a while.

"It's no problem. I'll call your mom to tell her, and after the meet you can have dinner with us." Vivian smiled at me kindly.

"Hi Hayley." I said not showing emotion.

"Hi Peter" Hayley smiled happily. I gave a slight smile to her.

The drive to the gym was annoying. Hayley's parents held hand as her father drove. Hayley kept singing. Sheesh this family had to much love. I looked at my reflection of the window. Plain old me. Dark blond hair with green eyes. Eyes that hated everything they laid eyes on.

Get me out of here please.

I want my life back. Give me my old life back whom ever holds the future. Make my dad and sister come back. Get me back to LA. What am I thinking this is my life now. This place with lakes and ranches everywhere. This state with nothing. I was living in nothing. What was there to live for really if everyone is going to die eventually.

Chapter 2

"Good Hayley another layout." The couch said to Hayley. Coach Megan smiled. Hayley smiled from the trampoline. I looked at the woman who looked to be twenty five years of age with Chinese and Dutch heritage in her. Her hair is think black, her eyes were nice brown color. A former gymnast herself.

"This one is for Joey." Hayley giggled. She threw her body high in the air flipping forward three times; landing in the trampoline with her feet bended. "Tada!" she announced happily with her arms pointed to the air.

"That was awesome Hal's." Joey smiled from the side lines. He ran up and gave his sister a big hug.

"Love you too Joey." Hayley giggled.

Whatever. I though.

"Alright children play time is over. Lets get back to our workouts." Meagan said with a large grin on her face. Hayley walked over to the uneven bars.

I heard three other giggles from the corner. I looked over to see Sabrina, Amy and Kelly laughing.

"Hay Peter." Sabrina smiled. I looked over to the girl that was just one year older than Hayley.

"Hi Sabrina." I waved sourly. She was one for Hayley's friends that I didn't like.

I didn't like anything or anyone honestly. Her bronze skin glowed under the lights with an evil smile. Witches!

"So Peter you gunna get Hayley into the Olympics?" Sabrina asked in conceited tone. I watched her cross her arms.

"She can make it on her own. She's better than you." I replied not paying attention to her.

"I think she can make it." Amy smiled. She was standing by the chalk, facing the beam.

"Thanks Amy." I rolled my eyes at her. Amy, Amy, Amy. How could ever leave out Hayley's best friend. Taller than Hayley by three inch's, shoulder length sandy blond hair. Sabrina looked at me with the eyes of a tiger about to catch his lunch. I looked back over to Hayley.

"That kid has some serious issues." I heard someone say. I turned to see who had made that remark. No one looked at me.

Dang people don't understand. I'd like them to be in my shoes for a year. Lets see who has issues then. I never allowed myself cry in front these people. Useless to let people see your pain. I don't want peoples pity. I did me no good.

I turned my attention back to Hayley on the uneven bars. I stood there frozen as ice watching her every move on the uneven bars. She was good at what she did. Most kids at her age needed a coach to help them work out, but she was Hayley. She didn't need much assistance. She had passion unlike any I've seen.

This nothing but a nightmare. When I wake up I'll my life back to normal.

Hayley landed on the mat with her knees bent. She walked off, walking towards Joey. As she walked, I noticed she stumbled lightly.

"Are you okay Hal's?" Joey asked approaching his little sister

"I'm fine" Hayley replied lying.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I may be angry, but she's still an innocent kid.

"I'm fine," she said looking like she was about to yell. That had become our cue to back off. Yet I still didn't settle with an ok from a five year old.

After Hayley's meet we all went to dinner at "Thomson's Diner" one of the most popular diners in the city. It was a country style looking diner. They had food from all over the world.

"Thank you for inviting me." I said to the Kirks while we had dinner. We all sat in a small table in the corner. I sat the very corner, Joey was next to me. Her parents were on our left side.

"You're very welcome Peter. You are just a big part of our family as anyone else." Vivian said sweetly "Your mother works hard as it is. You being with us is just a great blessing."

I smiled uncomfortably.

"We actually need some help around mansion tomorrow. I know how much you love the horses. Would you be willing to help out?" Adam asked kindly "I have the Bristle family flying in from Chicago. You think you could keep their daughter Portland company?"

His smile made me want to yell.

"I think mom should be okay with it. She loves it when I help you two out." I smiled back at Adam.

"We could race horses after" Joey briefly said with a smirk on his face. Man I would love to slap that smile off his face. I was a better rider than he is. The only interesting about living in a big mansion with a rich family were the horses.

"You're on pretty boy. Don't forget I beat you last week twice" I teased.

"Its Mr. Pretty boy to you kid, and may I remind I gave a slight head start" he tried to brush off.

"Please I am a faster horse rider and you know it," I said rolling my eyes. "We both know I could win the Kentucky Derby if I really wanted to" I continued to tantalize

The Kirks laughed. If there was a model for a perfect family it would be this family.

I once had what they had, a memory held on, but begging to let go. I was holding on to something that was no longer there. Something I need to come to accept in painful terms. Why should I accept it.

"Earth to Peter" Joey waved his hand in front of my face.

"Sorry I was lost in my own world" I said quickly.

I heard him chuckle under his breath "you are so gunna get beat while racing"

"Don't start crying when I win" I smiled with a murderous look on my face.

Chapter 3

When I got home mom was typing on the computer neatly. She was crying as she worked, I could see her brown eyes like a telescope. Her blond hair covered her face; so broken.

"Hi mom I'm home from the meet." I walking over to give her a bear hug.

"Did you have a good time?" she asked softly.

"Yeah I guess. Spending time with the Kirks makes me remember of when we had a complete family." I took my hands pulling them through mom's hair. "I brought you dinner from the diner. It's the Italy special; your favorite."

She took my hand carefully "Thank you so." she smiled.

I smiled at her "You're the best mom any kid could ask for."

"Have you thought about helping Adam and Vivian around the house?" she asked calmly.

"Yeah they asked me to help out today. I get two hundred dollars for the week that I help them. Maybe you could use that for bills," I offered.

"Son you earn the money the Kirks give you; don't worry about the bills. Besides Vivian is allowing us to stay here. We only need to pay for our personal uses." she said taking her sight off the computer. I looked to the ground in frustration.

"Mom you're all I have in the state of Montana. I know I'm only eight, but let me help you. I want us to stay in this house as long as possible. Living in suck a big house is sucky, but cool. I mean who knows where we would be living if you and Vivian weren't childhood best friends." I looked into her face with a smile.

"Things have been hard not having your father around anymore." she said about to cry.

"I miss him to mom, but we have to lean on each other." I leaned on her.

For the smallest second I saw her face lit up. It had been the first time I had seen her smile in almost a year.

"Fine you can help, but under one condition," she smirked.

"Anything" I said in excitement.

"You have to let me take you buy new clothes."

"Deal" I laughed "now for dinner." I led her to the dining room table.

I sat with mom on the table as she had dinner, just to keep her company.

"How is Hayley looking in the gym?" she asked curiously.

"She looks like she could kick anyone's butt at gymnastics. She is so good," I said annoyed.

"She has where to get the talent from. Vivian was a rhythmic gymnast way back when we were in a high school." mom commented.

It seems like there was so much about Hayley that I did not know. Things I didn't care about. It still is interesting to see how people become so rich.

"Really, was she good?" I asked discontented.

"Good enough to win the all around at the Olympics" mom smiled "In many ways that's why Hayley is so well off. Adam makes so much from being a lawyer for rich people. Vivian still has money from her time as a gymnast."

"Rich enough that they have a huge house. This house is so big I could be on one side of the house and not hear anything from the other side. Like a palace of a king" I said with a light of envy.

"The house belonged to Adams grandfather. Mr. Kirk wanted Adam to have the mansion so he could bring people here and show them what faith can do. He has camps here from time to time. Before Hayley and Joey were born they had camp for underprivileged kids, kids who had disabilities of some kind, and even kids with Life threatening illnesses" mom explained "Now that Hayley and Joey are around he only dose this during the summer."

There was a long pause.

"Mom" I asked putting my hand on my face "Do you think it's possible to forgive the person that killed dad and Katie?"

"Yes I do son." she smiled me "We have to learn to forgive. If you cant learn to forgive how do you expect the heavenly father to forgive you?"

I had nothing to say to my mom. She was right as always.

"Do you mind if I go for a walk I want to think for a while?" I asked

"Don't be long." mom said touching my hand.

Chapter 4

I walked up from the table, heading towards the door. I walked as far from the house as possible.

"You tell me to come to you Lord, but why have you brought so much pain on my mom," I said to the heavens "You said you do things to test us, but is taking a three year old and a husband some kind of test. How far are you willing to go for us to keep trusting you?" I walked farther "Kati was just a toddler Lord, and my dad served you with all of his heart." tears fell from my face "I miss them. I want my life back. I hate this place. Its so lonely."

"He knows your pain Peter." a voice said from behind me. I quickly turned around to see Adam behind me, on top of a horse.

I jumped out of my place "Trying to give a kid cardiac arrest?" I asked taking a deep breath.

"I didn't mean to scare you Peter." Adam said coming down from the horse.

Adam was a buff person. He looked like he could take down anyone. I sighted in relief "It's okay Adam." I replied in relief "How much did you hear?"

"Just about everything." he smiled.

Stop smiling it makes me sick. I thought to myself.

"I…I….I'm sorry for what you heard. I didn't mean it that way. I was talking to higher power," I pointed to the sky with a sad look.

"I know Peter. I know you are angry with him for this. I want you to know that I will never make your mom leave the house. No matter how bad things get," he said in a soft voice.

That's nice to know he wont throw us out on us on out butts.

"I was really close with my dad and Kati. Just you are with Hayley and Joey." I explained.

"I know you were. Sara sent Vivian a lot of pictures with you Katie and your dad. He loved you Peter. He loved you so much. All he ever talked to me about was you. Peter this and Peter that. Peter is going to become a surgeon someday. He's so smart. Your father was so proud of you. I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't want you to be like this. Hating everyone around you. He'd want you to try to make your life better." Adam explained.

I had tears in my eyes.

"You knew my dad?"

"I knew him in college. We became close. You and your family spent holidays here when you were a baby. Who knew, our girls that we loved so much were best friends." he explained.

that's nice to know everyone got along.

I walked silently for a moment "Is there something wrong with Hayley?"

He hesitated "Why would you ask?"

"She's the best gymnast for her age. I mean you could see that. Why would she just stumble over?" I asked with a lower voice.

"Hayley's perfectly fine. She's a little girl. She loses her balance from time to time." he smiled a fake smile.

"You know something I don't?" I demand. "I've had enough pain for one lifetime. Hayley is sweet kid"

I'm letting my guard down.

"Everything is fine" he smiled "I'd better get back. See you tomorrow" Adam said mounting the horse taking off.

Adam was lying about something. Something he knew was bad. It all began here at this moment. This was the reason why I became a different person. The reason why the next couple of years would change greatly.

I stayed where I was for a few more minutes, until Adam was nowhere in sight. I looked up to the dark sky filled with stars.

You know the tears that I cry; you see my mom's pain. Take it all in your hands. This is my life now; this is who I am. This is where I live. Everything I loved is back in LA. The sunrise is the start of new day, a new way of being thankful to you.

I gave up on begging angry, unaware that I had tears in my eyes. I wiped my face with hand. I walked back home shrugging a few times.

Would mom be waiting up for me or would she go to sleep?

I walked back through the door quietly as possible, making sure that I didn't make any noise.

"Peter come in here please." mom said in a clam voice.

"Crap I'm dead," I whispered. I hesitated to walk in to the living room "hay mom, what's up?"

Mom was sitting on the rocking chair dad made for her when I was born.

"Son sits down please." mom pointed to a small red couch next to her.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"The police office called from L.A., The drunk driver that killed your dad and sister last year was charged with man slaughter" she said with tears in her eyes "He's been given 30 years in prison and has to go to rehab."

"He should have been given more years. 30 years isn't enough. Not for taking two lives all because he couldn't have a designated driver."

I held my breath for a brief moment "Those drunk drivers hurt a lot more then their families. They hurt others too." tears fell from my eyes once again. "This doesn't change anything. My dad and little sister will never come back."

The little sister that said she wanted to be like me. The little sister that will never come and get in bed with me because she wants more time with her big brother.

I cried "Nothing will ever change that."

"I know it hurts" mom cried "I lost my husband and little girl."

"My sister is gone just because one person. All is lost" I cried. "Its getting late mom."

I wiped tears off my face with my arm.

Mom caught my arm before I walked out the room

"Justice has been served." mom smiled

"It still doesn't change anything," I said walking off to my room. Taking my notebook out from my desk. I thought about Hayley in the gym.

There is something wrong with Hayley. I know it. Adam is hiding something from me. I mean why can't he tell me. Really how bad can it be? Hayley is kinda of a friend. When I'm around Hayley its like my pain goes away for a millisecond. I still hate everything that's happened and I know all this pain wont go away, and it never will.

I am glad the jerk that killed dad was caught finally. It still wont bring them back to us. Nothing can change what happened.