Author: Bleed The Dream PM
Life isn't good enough to live, and it's not bad enough to die, but I don't do either of those well.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Humor - Words: 242 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 08-07-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2836064
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Life isn't good enough to live, and it's not bad enough to die, but I don't do either of those well.
I tried killing myself one sweltering summer day.
The A/C was broken, it was hot, and moving just made everything hotter. There was nothing to do, nothing that didn't make me feel like I was about to evaporate at any moment. For that reason, I decided to kill myself. The world was dull, the day was hot, and my mind was set.
Pills were for wimps, and slitting was too emo. A gun, maybe? Too messy. Wasn't there something else, something that wasn't so boring? Hanging? It wasn't the best, but it was easy... And maybe I could decorate the rope with glitter or something.
I sat up from my position on the floor of my room. The ceiling fan was straight above me, rotating slowly and only managing to stir hot air around the room. I could hang rope from there, and...
The rope was in the shed, I remembered. In the shed, where I would have to go out the door, take far too many steps across the grass, with the sun burning the skin right off my back, until I finally entered the shade of the shed... and then go through it all again going back.
I flopped back down to the ground. It was too hot to move.