|Mr Oddment Tweak O’Trifle, The Elf, and I
Author: studentofwords PM
It was the dead of night, and only one creature was stirring within the home, a creature so terrifying that one can only hope they must never engage it in their lifetime: a writer with a random plot bunny. And this, my friends, was what happened next.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Words: 672 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 09-04-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2844763
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Today while walking through a field full of unicorns and mischievous elves, I came upon an old man with a name tag that stated him to be Oddment Tweak O'Trifle.
Now, of course I found this very odd, as the old man was repeatedly slapping a mischievous elf in the face, so I went up to him and asked, "You there! Yes you, old man! What the heck do you think you're doing to that poor, mischievous elf?"
He looked at me, startled, and then down at the elf, before once more looking up at me. "Well, I can't say I very well know, young butterfly. The last thing I remember, I was running through a thick cloud of Skittles flying through the air."
I scratched my head. "Skittles, eh? Well, sir, I think I know the problem. You see, before I came across you slapping the mischievous elf, I was on an investigation to discover what happened to the 951995 Skittles I bought for my friend Kelci for her birthday. They *were* in a bucket in my room, but when I woke up this morning, they were all gone! Someone must have put them in front of a large fan and forced you to run through them for their own perverse pleasure! It makes perfect sense!"
The old man blinked and then scratched his chin. "Well, young caterpillar, you're in quite the predicament, aren't you? And I do seem to remember a large metal object... Maybe your theory has some truth behind it! But what about the mischievous elf I have been slapping this whole time?"
I thought for a moment, as I looked down at the elf now staring up at me with pleading eyes between the slaps adding to the redness of his cheeks. Why *was* this man slapping an elf? The whole fan thing made perfect sense, but the mischievous elf? Wait a minute-
Why was the elf a *mischievous* elf? Why not a nice elf, or a funny elf, or an awesome elf?
"I've got it," I proudly announced. "When you got past the thick cloud of 951995 Skittles, you saw who was working the fan and grabbed for him-"
"Of course," Oddment Tweak O'Trifle interrupted in awe. "The mischievous elf! And then I went into shock, all the while slapping him until you came and woke me up!"
I nodded, pleased that I pulled all of these random facts together to figure out what had happened. I felt like I belonged on one of those crime-mystery shows that everyone was always talking about. Then I frowned. All of that made perfect sense, but what happened to my Skittles?
"Old man, do you know what happened to all of my Skittles? It will soon be Kelci's birthday, and I must give her 951995 Skittles!"
Oddment Tweak O'Trifle, looking ashamed suddenly, glanced down, up, to the sides, anywhere but at me. "Sir," I began slowly, "did you eat my Skittles?"
"I believe so," he replied, properly abashed. "I am sorry, young one. You have helped me so much, but the Skittles looked so good and slapping elves in the face really brings out your appetite, and they were they only thing around..."
I held up my hand, gesturing for him to stop. I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "It's fine. I understand. But now I must go figure out what to give Kelci for her birthday. Ok, I better go now. Goodbye, old man, and continue slapping that mischievous elf for me!"
He nodded, raised his hand up to me in a vague signal of goodbye, and continued slapping the elf with renewed vigor.
Smiling, I continued along my merry way, wondering what to get Kelci for her fifteenth birthday...