Quitting you (working title)

Jane strode through the hallway heedless of the Preppy girls giggling and flirting with Preppy boys, of the nervous Nerds miserable with having to take the bus. She barely noticed the band geeks, her own "kind" streaming out towards the practice field for afterschool drills. Jane was on a mission.

All she wanted was for the conversation she'd just had with her best friend Kylie not to be true. Was it so much to ask for a guy to be faithful? Apparently the answer was yes. A slight pricking began behind her eyes. She could feel the tears that threatened to fall. She had thought he was different. He'd been so nice, so safe at the beginning. When he walked over to her table she thought…well, none of that mattered now. She rubbed her eyes angrily. The small sign of her weakness irritating her beyond rational thought.

The band room. Jane looked at her destination and struggled to compose herself before she went in. A million thoughts were racing through her mind, pictures she had tried to turn a blind eye to. Pictures of David with her friends, the slightly flirtatious manner that she tried to convince herself was innocent. A single tear rolled down her cheek. Enough! It was time to end this limbo, this passivity. Turning the knob she wondered at how she could feel her heart breaking again, knowing for sure what she'll find. She walked in. The room was empty. She felt hollow inside but also relieved. Maybe Kylie misinterpreted what she saw. Maybe, all those girls were just jealous. Just because he had been unfaithful didn't mean that there was a reason to suspect David of wrongdoing. Jane turned to go shaking her head at her foolishness. She was going to get a reputation for being a shrew if she kept this up. Real relationships required trust right? She heard slight whispering giggles. She tried to dismiss it as a randy couple snatching some minutes off the field during practice. Her heart began to pound. The whispers in her head returned. More pictures filtered through her mind. This time they weren't David. They were him. And her. Why did she have to relive this? Her heart screaming, stop! Don't look. Her mind insisting she satisfy her curiosity. She headed towards the back of the room quietly.

There was another giggle followed by a soft murmur. Jane knew that murmur. And she had allowed it to comfort her as she spilled her fears, her secrets. Her stomach sank. There was to be no reprieve, not today, not ever. She followed the sounds to the so-called "kissing corner."

It was a lighthearted name for something so…dangerous. The kissing corner in reality was a darkened corner of the room where students could disappear to under the band boosters watchful eyes for at least a couple of minutes. It earned its nickname after a chaperone found a creative couple violating the no touching rule there.

It wasDavid. And he was with that little pixie of a piccolo player. What was her name? Oh yeah, Marianne. Jane felt numb for a moment. Then anger so pure and fierce ran through her. After the anger was gone, there was despair. Hadn't she shared herself with him? Hadn't she joined the band for him? He said it'll be fun. And that they'd have so much more time to spend together. But the band was his thing. Yearbook was hers. Had always been hers. She was miserable and lonely in the band. The other players didn't include her in their after band plans and her schedule was different from her yearbook friends. All of her other friends joined the yearbook staff, just as they promised each other they would. She liked music but not enough to give her all; all the time. And Jane felt so very very small. Why wasn't she enough? Why wasn't she ever enough? The pictures returned to her mind damning him. No more. She was NOT a plaything. He looked up, and noticed her there.

No one spoke for a long minute. Jane closed her eyes against the pain. She was stronger. After all, she'd done this before. And if need be she could do it again. Jane spoke quietly, "I'm quitting the band." They both knew what she meant. She was quitting him.