|Professor Irae: Mix'N'match
Author: Sanareth PM
Irae is able to see and hear smells, cook up storms, brew pills, potions and magical lotions. But now to pay for his education and damages, the boy is given an offer he can't refuse. To teach cookery. Unfortunately for Irae, its a female course. CompleteRated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 42,453 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 10-27-10 - Published: 10-17-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2856485
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Back on the landing, Irae let himself be bandaged. Anya had stayed, while the others he'd sent off to bed.
The school officials would be arriving soon.
"Is this what you wanted?" Maya kneeled down next to her teacher with a parfait.
Irae nodded and took it. She handed over a spoon and he rapidly began to yum the confection down.
In less than ninety seconds the tall glass was empty.
"Now. I'll be fine." Irae said, satisfied. Anya twigged. "Magical parfait. So that's why you said you didn't need a doctor."
He hefted the glass in his good hand. "Pick-me-up parfait. Cure's pretty much anything. As long as it isn't massive damage like limb loss, organ removal or being turned to several ounces of bloody meat patty."
Maya was unused to Irae's graphic descriptions. "Ewww." She made a face at the thought.
" yeah." Anya nodded "I know you're injured but can you not... like, describe graphic death on such a regular basis?"
"But it's such fun..... Speaking of which. Here come the fun police." Irae indicated to a purple door which unfolded, apparently from nowhere.
The Arch Principle, Perpetual principle and several other official flunkies walked out.
"What has happened here? A student contacted us to say there had been a disturbance." The Arch principle said the word with relish. Irae looked at Anya who mouthed 'Ibis'.
Irae pushed himself up. "I'm afraid it was entirely my fault."
The Old man grinned wickedly.
"As I did not search your daughters room earlier." The Arch principles face fell. "What?"
Irae continued on, oblivious "Bethany Incantatum located three pieces of Daemon gold, she took these and left them in her desk draw. Upon discovering the desks false bottom, quite unintentionally, I found the pieces she'd taken. When I moved them, hoping to get them to the kitchen where I could burn them, the daemon struck, intent on discorporating both of us. I have discorporate it. Violently. However I sustained damage. These students saw me."
The old man glowered "And I suppose now everyone knows?"
"No. I asked them to lie. Everyone believes it was a four hundred pound gorilla." Irae spoke smoothly until several loud clicks made him wince.
"Pardon me, my bones are knitting." A comment which made everyone present draw back, just a little.
The Arch-Principle's face suddenly softened "You have my thanks. The daemon would have undoubtedly killed her. Does she?" "I don't think so. She's unconscious.... If I may sir, I have one request."
"What." The older man suddenly looked wary. "I'd like to get overtime pay. It was in my old contract but not this new one you drew up. Do I have your word I'll get it?" The Arch principle frowned.
"I was going to ask you anyway." "Oh fine." "Thank you. Sir." There was a deliberate pause in between the words.
The arch principle sniffed. "Bethany will have to stay somewhere else tonight. You two. See to it. I'm going home." The Flunkies snapped to and the Arch principle shuffled through the purple doorway.
The count walked over and leaned down next to Irae. "I can see what you just did." He boomed enigmatically.
"I knew you would. I also knew that you'd keep quiet about it." Irae said with a wry expression on his tired features.
"I hope that your teaching sessions go well. Both the normal and... the extra-curricular." His conspiratorial tone turned jolly. "Speaking of which, how's your first week been? Enjoying the school? And the company it seems." He winked enormously at Anya and Maya flanking him.
"Hah. Hah. Count. What do you really want?" Irae was tired and in no mood for games.
"You missed the staff-meeting. Thought you should have this." He handed over a thin card.
"Is this?" "Yes. Your Staff-card. Already assigned to your credit account. You're now officially qualified to use the Time ticker." "Awesome.... Hey!" Irae said, sounding like a kid whose Christmas toy didn't come with batteries included after-all. "I'm only certified for 'prentice level contracts."
The count chuckled uproariously. Everything about him was expansive.
"Well. You'll have to earn senior privileges." "Earning things. Sucks." Irae sounded sulky.
"Don't worry. Come the end of term I believe I'll have a job for you. Until the next time... I bid you, Audieu! Ah-hahahaha!" he laughed, spinning on the spot and dissolving first into a dark splotch and then nothingness.
"I really wish I could afford that spell.... but I doubt I could use it..." Irae said absently. Everyone's ears, popped.
"What was that?" "Localised dome of silence, wearing off."
"Irae you seem different to just a moment ago." Anya commented, thoughtfully. "Really?"
"Yeah. The way you argued with the perpetual principle... It was just like a normal kid!" Maya giggled in the face of his glare.
The clocks struck midnight. "I guess. That mean's I've survived. My first week as a teacher. Irae walked over to the hole in the wall and touched the broken surface lightly.
"... Better than it could have been.... But far, far worse than I expected." He said morosely.
A hand fell on his shoulder and ibis ruffled his hair lightly "You have us right?".
"That, Miss Iskanda, would be the problem." For a moment things were tense. He chuckled.
"The most entertaining problem I've had the pleasure to deal with. I'm glad to be here. Wouldn't have it any other way." He allowed himself a small smile.
"Now." Anya said as she approached from behind and grabbing his injured wrist "Tell me what you have planned for the Arch principle."
"Aww come on. I just fought a daemon." "Tell!" "You'll see eventually... Ow, Stop that!" "Oh Toughen up princess."
The sounds carried off into the night as even the slowest clocks stopped tolling. The week was over. All around there was silence and peace.
"Give up and stop twisting my wrist." "Never! What was that card?" "I am your teacher, stop it!"
Well.... Close enough.
The adventures continue with the time ticker incidents and 'Enter Epsilon'.
More action, more magic and some creative cookery; from Chameleon cake to applause 'smores, laffy taffy, sawtooth-souffle, gob-stoppers, 'bangers', skeleton tea and as many weird and wacky dishes I can devise.
Oh yeah. maybe I should add a profile. Like one for Irae! If you want to know nearly everything about him, you can just read this.
Don't look if you don't want to completely know and possibly understand his background.
Post recipie for disaster incident:
Skin: Pale, smooth, unblemished.
Hair: Black and brown.
Height; 116 centimeters tall.
Build: Slim. Strength and speed acheived through past-future training in cooking-style magical martial arts and monthly doses of permanent strength enhancing substances.
Eyes: Vivid green/ emerald. Changes to gravitic-anomoly black when mind is probed because of permanent counterspells applied to his body.
Irae was found in the dormitory of the C.A.S ^3 one night around six years ago.
His actual age is unknown.
His birthday; December sixth, is the day he was found.
The next part is basically a summary of his first try at life during the whole 'recipe for disaster' incident. Read at your own risk.
In reality, Irae once prepared and ate a serving of the fabled 'recipie for disaster. '
The recipe was so named because a number of days equal to the number of the beast later, all the bad luck you come into contact with over the intervening period is unleashed on you all at once.
The only surefire way to combat this was for Irae to work hard and learn as much as he could before the day arrived; If there was nothing bad that he couldn't deal with or could happen to him, he might survive. The spells degree of severity being based entirely on circumstance; E.g. The worst outcome possible from a given set of circumstances differs depending on whether you are sanding in the middle of a thunderstorm compared to being in an isolated house on flat ground on a mild day in the middle of November.
In any case, Irae completed the hours required for three degrees among other things, but however was caught unprepared when the bad luck arrived exactly fifty days earlier than expected.
(Unbeknown to him, the real number of the beast was in fact 616 rather than 666.)
At the time he was going to obtain a temporary aging 'fix' to allow him to blend in at the graduation ceremony, as he was at sixteen, around eight years younger than most of the graduates and he disliked attention.
Using the skills he had built up over the last two years, he managed to survive the morning and arrive at his destination without injury.
Irae's abilities stopped there as he drank a potion which exponentially decreases a persons age. *
The specific antidote was missing, a serious offense on the part of the alchemist who instead give's Irae a medicine which reverses the effect of the most powerful magic in effect over a living entity.
The recipie for disaster strikes again as the medicine instead of nullifying her potion, instead reverses Irae's own personal innate ability to issue binding orders; this is the cause for his new self's inability to ignore spoken requests from other people.**
This was not apparent at the time and in a panic, the alchemist has a friend use their time machine*** in an attempt to boot him into the future where he wont bother either of them.
Bad luck struck and he end's up back in the past instead; where the curse's effect ends as technically he has survived the day.
*(The potion that he took was for chonothalpy, the process by which people who've suffered truama may permanently erase ever having undergone it and the extension of ones own lifespan.
Both require the proportional loss of long term memory; Older people wishing to become younger must have a total wipe to prevent an early onset of senility and trauma patients inherently require the wipe.
The removal is permanent and selectively affects the long term ememory centers of the brain while leaving other areas intact.
This means the connections created by learning, for example, a martial art; will still exist without the persons knowledge.
They will be able to acess things that have become instinctive for them, but they will not know how to acess them or even that they have such skill's until after they have tried to perform the correspoding actions or have entered a situation where a similar thought process is taking place.
Irae is unable to defy spoken orders or requests. It is his weakness and what he attempts to hide from everyone at every juncture.
Four plates; two small, two large; The latter are rotated rapidly, so that one can switch sides with the other in an instant.
The smaller plates have brackets mounted above them; they spin on the spot when in operation, with a beam crossing the diameter of each.
The smaller plates allow the larger ones to be aimed at the past and the future.
How? Well, all the plates are set to go off simultaniously, for example, two seconds after the ball bearings are dropped.
Well. If the small plates are set to a time displacement of 1.99 seconds, then when the ball-bearings are released one will reappear Before it has made contact with the plate. This means that at the instance of transferrance for both small and large plates, the one directly below the small plate which is aimed at the past will also be aimed at the past and the other at the future.
Essentially, by using a small time transition, taking place at the exact same instance as the large transition, you can ascertain what will go where by looking at what it's already done in anticipation of what it did when the transition will commence.
Is able to create basic instant physical enhancement compounds as well as several more advanced permanent addition powerups.
Is able to cook up storms trouble and other stuff....
Is able to use basic combat magic and several high level offensive spells.
The Alchemy Gun:
AKA: Hexi-gun, Magi-num, Supernatural, full metal magnum.
Made of a strange metal with an iridescent sheen this gun load's phials of magical fluid which are used by the gun to create elemental projectiles.
These fluids can be switched by the user for different forms of elemental ammunition.
Shot's may be combined to create amalagums or antipodes, such as a ball of fire containing ice or a six element combo to create blasts of pure force.