i find myself sad

--

i find myself sad that

you were inedible

that i could not lick my way

down and

suck

you

into myself

--

i find myself sad that

you are indelible

your smell imprinted on

membranes

your memory in a

song

--

i find myself sad that

i wasn't the one to take home to your

mother

even as you whispered

secrets (paranoia)

and i love you's

over tequila shots

and

coke

--

i find it sad that

i loved you

(back)

once upon a time

(and never told you

why)