"Lying in White Silk" -Cassandra Freiborg

It was quite shocking.

Like a child seeing its first flower die

To be introduced to death

A whole new concept

A whole new terror to add to the closet

That harbors so many monsters.

That setting sun frightened me most of all.

The night was gloomy and raining

And I don't know how I pulled through

By some random miracle

Preformed by a god I no longer believe in.

The great unknown is rapidly approaching

And I don't just mean death,

I mean the future, reality sitting in wait,

Twisted like a viper

Ready to strike me blind with venom that coats the eyes,

And leaves me with no guidance.

I used to think I was fearless.

I stared defiantly into the faces of all,

Into my reflection in the mirror,

And I was only fooling myself.

Panic rung out from every muscle spasm,

Dread seeping through my veins as I sat next to him

Trying so desperately to replace it,

With cooling, calming chemicals,

Instead only growing more attracted and angry with life.

I was completely enthralled with it all,

And so appalled all at once.

Paradigms shifts became part of my daily mood swings.

I weep for things I've lost along my way.

How could I become this messed up in the head?

Everything swirls into inexplicable muddy images.

I realize I'm laying in white silk,

and I'm clutching a flower

Waiting for a whole new world to embrace me.

8/28/06