|He Loves Me He Loves Me
Author: notdyingnow PM
If there had ever been a deeper whisper, I had not heard it. If there had ever been a more heartfelt message, it had never been directed towards me. If I ever wondered what if felt like to have my breath taken away, I now knew.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,789 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11-25-10 - id: 2867784
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Have you noticed how the major love stories, romances, and chick flicks wait until end for love to bloom? Have you ever wondered why?
I reckon it's because after the flower that is love finally blossoms,
There's only one place for it to go.
You can't get younger, and you can't go backwards.
You wait, and you wait, patient as ever,
And finally it breaks out into beauty only to someday wither and die.
And that, my friends, is one ending no one wants to see.
Personally, I don't get it. For as long as people have been existing, men have been trying to get in women's pants. Under their skirts. A peek at what lay beneath their loincloth, perhaps? Whatever. Is that really love? If it is, I think I will pass.
Couples have always been declaring their 'love'. Devotion comes expensive when bought as a diamond ring, but hey, does it look like it really matters? Materialism is a waste. A waste of money. A waste of time. A waste, waste, waste. So if you use it to symbolize an idea, a feeling, a hope, then what good is it, really? None, I suppose. So if love is only as worthwhile as something as meaningless as a symbol, then I think I will pass.
I mean, love is supposed to give the ring meaning. But from what I have seen, it does not stop people from cheating. A ring can be easily removed. Can love be removed just as simply? If it is, I think I will pass.
Now, before you get the wrong idea, let me explain. I am not against love. In fact, I would say I am for it. I confess to you that I think of love a whole lot more than I ever want to. You know that yearning, don't you? "Satisfy me!" it screams. I see couples smiling together. I read beautiful love letters and hear the enthralling love songs. I long to be loved in those ways. . . in a way, but at the same time, I don't. You know why? Because I see other things: Fakeness. Misrepresentation. Masks. Lies.
Every damn place I look I see another exposure. Another couple breaking up. Unhappiness finally overflowing the couples' ability to pretend otherwise. Affairs coming into light. I don't want to be any part of it. I mean, is that really what marriage is all about? Pretending to be happy when you're not? Waiting until your patience is dried up and denial no longer works? "Till death do us part," has become, "Until I realize I am no longer in love with you." Maybe even, "Until I realize I never really was." Is that love? Is it, really? Please, somebody give me hope.
I am sick of hearing about how amazing it is for couples to be married for their whole life! That is supposed to be the norm, people! I know, I know. What do I know, right? I mean, it's not like I have been married. Heck, my relationships have never lasted longer than a month.
But let me tell you something which I do know, I know when you make a commitment to someone, you are supposed to keep that commitment. So when you promise to love someone for better or for worse, you better damn do your job! When you commit yourself to that person until death, you don't change your mind! If you can't keep your promise, then don't promise. With all these kids shacking up together anyway, why even bother getting married? A waste of money and legal procedures to me since most people don't even make it worth the while.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned for my time. I believe in being a virgin until marriage. I believe one man and one woman should be together unless separated by death. I do believe in rare exceptions, but "He doesn't get me" or "I want to have sex with someone else" does not count, at least not in my mind. I believe in my kind of love.
People are so vastly different, and yet, we all have our own advice on how to make love work. Love is this. Love is that. Blah, blah, blah. Something may float your boat but sink mine. And likewise. You may like motors while I am a more hands-on, oar kind of gal. All I am saying is, we each have different specifications in what we want in a life mate. We all dream of different things and expect different things. We relate differently to different people. Our love languages are different.
Despite all the differences, I bet there is one thing we agree on: love is supposed to last. Does anyone truly dream of the day their love will fade and die out? Does anyone really hope for a day when they can fall out of love? I certainly hope not. I have not read those stories. I personally hope to never be in one. On the contrary, once I fall in love, I hope to fall deeper and deeper into that great hole never quite finding the bottom or my way out. I hope my husband will beside me in the pit distracting from such thoughts. I want us freefalling, surrounded by love, freedom, and of course, each other.
I dream of a realistic love. Not a fairy tale love where a prince comes and takes me away. I do not even know if my love would have a story. I simply dream of a man who would be there for me when I need him. I dream of a man who would hold me, cherish me, and accept me. A man who would listen to what I say and respond accordingly. Listen to my requests and do them. A man who will not be me, but complement me. One who is strong where I am weak, and weak where I am strong. A man who is not intimidated by me, but encouraged by me and will encourage my growth. A man who accepts me as I am. A man not afraid to fight for what he wants. A man who won't appear to be in love with me but truly will be. A man with no strings attached. A man who's only motive is to love me. Yes, that is what I dream of.
But you and I both know dreams don't come true. . . unless, somehow, they do.