|One Girl, a Lot of Hate
Author: Spottedjellyfish PM
What do you do when a totally gorgeous guy with great hair and great abs, who you happen to despise and hate with a burning passion, manhandles you and kisses you? You kick him in the kiwis! Duh.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 37,513 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 237 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 02-22-11 - Published: 12-05-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2870623
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: I present you the Epilogue of One Girl, A Lot of Hate!
"I love you."
-Drake Lurveeesss Her
"THIS MEANS WAR."
Some Time in the Future:
"ADMIT IT, DRAKE! Silence of the Lambs is a cinematic masterpiece!"
"NEVER! In fact, it SUCKED!"
I gasped and glared at Drake. "Oh, like the Godfather was better!"
"Knock knock!" It was Emma's cheerful voice. "I have a housewarming present for the lovebirds! OHMYGOSH—it's so big in here!"
Emma's head swiveled around to take in the sight of the new condo. Beside her, Nick yawned. The furniture may have been wrapped, and everything in boxes abandoned, but it was still pretty cool. She gaped at the large windows, marble counters and other impressive items.
She also gaped at Drake and I glaring at each other. "Are you two still arguing over what movie is the best?"
"Yes!" We both said at the same time.
"Only because she refuses to admit that Godfather is the best!"
"It's not my fault you refuse to admit that Silence of the Lambs is better!"
"You know what?" Emma piped up, "We'll come back later when, er, you guys aren't ready to murder each other."
"NO!" Drake and I barked, "STAY!"
"Tell him he's wrong!"
"Tell her she's wrong!"
"Um..." Emma spoke up hesitantly, "I've never seen either movie. But lambs are cute!"
"SEE! She agrees with me, Drake!"
"Aren't godfather's cute too, Red?" When Emma said nothing, Drake barked, "GET OUT!"
There was a moment of silence as Drake and I attempted to kill each other with our glares. I was prettysure that someone in Antarctica would've heard our glares.
Then Nick said: "Godfather rocked."
I turned to face Nick and Emma. "GET OUT!"
"Nicckkk!" Emma wailed.
"We'll come back later!"
I turned back at Drake. "Take it back."
Just how far would I go to defend Silence of the Lambs pride? Would I seriously pick up Drake's Wii, which was sitting innocently in a cardboard box, and threaten him with it?
…Of COURSE I would.
"That is dirty! You play on it too!"
I picked up a knife that happened to be sitting on the table.
His teeth clenched together. "Two can play this game."
"What are you—no!"
Drake had snatched up my new phone and held it above a random empty fish bowl, which was full of water. I don't even know why we had it. Neither of us had any fish...
I shouted, "Say Silence is a cinematic masterpiece!"
"You asked for it!" I plunged the blade of the knife into his Wii.
Don't try this at home, kids.
"DAMN!" The phone dropped into the fish bowl.
I almost whimpered. THIS MEANS WAR.
I grabbed Drake's soccer trophy. The school team had won the tournament after a grueling game—and had earned a much deserved two foot high gold trophy.
"You asked for it, Drake!"
"Dammit, woman!" Drake seized my life size bunny.
"You bought that for me!"
"So? This is for Al Pacino!"
I darted across the condo, jumping over the new couch and ready for bloody murder.
"What are you doing? SHIT! You wouldn't!" He shouted after me.
I stopped inside the bathroom, with Drake's trophy hovering over the toilet.
"Are you kidding? Of course I would!"
We sized each other up. Then, suddenly, Drake frowned.
"What were we even arguing about?"
I paused. "I…don't know..."
We blinked. Drake threw my bunny aside. He had his hands on my hips and we were kissing before I could even remember why we had been so pissed earlier. Oh well.
There was a splashing noise, followed by a loud thunk. Drake's trophy had fallen into the toilet when I dropped it.
But neither of us noticed, due to the fact we fell into the bathtub kissing.
Drake and I sat in the bathtub opposite each other, all thoughts of bloody murder forgotten. (For now.)
"So I've decided; I'm gonna study psychology and biology." Drake stated proudly.
I snorted. "Psychobiology?
He raised an eyebrow, like he was silently challenging me to make fun of it.
I took the challenge: "It sounds like a serial killers name."
He narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me, Banana?"
I stuck out my tongue. Ah, after all this time, I still refer to childish tactics to annoy Drake. That's right. I'm so gangsta, it makes you jealous.
I continued, "I thought you didn't like Silence of the Lambs."
"Oh, by the way, you're going to buy me a new phone."
Drake looked tempted to smile. "Molly Holden…. You are one dangerous, freaky and crazy chick."
Um, duh, Drake.
Drake smirked. "I love you."
I couldn't help a smile. "I know, idiot."
He rolled his eyes. "You're supposed to say it back, idiot."
"I said it last time, idiot."
"Stop calling me an idiot, idiot."
His arm snaked around my waist. "I'm going to have to punish you for that, idiot."
"I thought it was quite witty." I wiggled away teasingly.
"The Witty Banana—you could be a one-woman comedy act." His mouth quirked into a smile.
It was my turn to narrow my eyes. "I quote: 'I'm going to have to punish you for that.'"
"Me first." Without warning, Drake snapped into action and attempted to grab me around the waist.
"NO!" I hopped out of the way and jumped out of the bathtub. "CATCH MEEE FIRRRSSTTTT, IDIOT!"
"GET BACK HERE, WOMAN!"
And so, my friends, enemies, losers, wannabes, bananas, one-woman comedy acts, hobos and everyone else I forgot; allow me scream at the world…
"GOT YOU, BANANA!"
"HELLLPPPP! NOOO! I HATE YOU, DRAKE!"
A/N: -Sniffles- Excuse me while I get my tissues. My first Fictionpress story just finished! And major thanks to all you who are reading this author's note. You rock, yo!
Well, frankly, this was FUN to write. But I don't wanna over drag this story. xD But worry not, as I plan on writing more stories and such in the future. As long as I have fingers and a brain...
And review! You know, cuz this is the last chapter and all, and I'd be hella sad if the L word didn't get reviews on the last chapter.
Special thanks to TrinityKitty, who introduced me to Fictionpress. Send her any stories if you want a reader/reviewer-she'll read anything! xD
Lurve as always, Spottie.