|Pick up lines that will not make me yours
Author: Jinxyy PM
Sadly, all have been used on me.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Words: 929 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12-21-10 - Status: Complete - id: 2875121
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
this is simply unbelievable that people think I have so little pride that they would work. ALL have been used. Some more than once.
me that you love me on our very first date, and when I back off a little freaked out, asking where your (tenth) kiss is.
2. Ask me where I see "us" in six months and assuring me you'll buy me a car for my birthday, which is months away…on our SECOND date.
me "you're attractive, smart, and it doesn't make me want to kill myself to talk to you" as what you consider a high compliment.
4. Ask me if I want to star in your porn movie and informing me that my "back" is perfect to play one of the characters.
5. Take calls from your ex-wife repeatedly on our date and leaving me alone in a store to go outside to talk to her repeatedly on a date
6. buying food and sitting and watching me eat my food, then scolding me for not finishing what I ordered and finishing it in front of me
7. Trying to grope my butt, thighs, breasts, or stomach on our first date and first kiss.
10. Making fun of my drink of choice and acting very condescending about it.
11. Going to a movie with me and standing up, yelling at the screen, or laughing so long and loud others stare and I am mortified.
12. Refusing to allow me to eat my dinner with you without letting go of me, remaining anchored at my side with your arm tight around me.
13. Threatening to kill yourself if I ever break up with you.
14. Asking me if I'm a virgin on our very first date- or before we even go on a single date- when you don't know me well at all. Believe it or not nearly every guy I've ever dated has. This is NOT YOUR BUSINESS AT THAT POINT regardless of the answer to that question.
15. Informing me how many girls you've had sex with and how long each of your girlfriends lasted on our first date and then asking me if I think the number of people you've had sex with is okay.
16. Calling me names or giving me explicit sexual insults when I turn your pathetic advances down.
17. Snapping my picture less than a minute after you met me for the first time.
18. On a first date, turning on music loudly, singing loudly and badly, and telling me how everyone thinks you have such a good voice, and being serious about it.
19. Lying to me about all your "special accomplishments" to the point where I can no longer tell when you're telling the truth or not.
20. Only eating cookies, fries, and beef jerky, no matter where we go or what we do. Period.
21. As I am taking a walk, honk and beep your horn at me or yell at me out the window.
22. As I am taking a walk, ask me if I'd like a ride. When I turn you down, temptingly inform me that you have snacks in your car.
23. Dress like a clown, stand in the mall, ask me for a hug, and when I keep walking, start following me until I panic and break out into a run.
24. Sit across from me in a restaurant and tell me I'm pretty in Spanish and that you want me. You are a total stranger. I am fourteen.
25. As a female, stare at me while I'm undressing in the locker room and tell me how pretty I am.
26. Grab my hand in the middle of church, stroke my arm, and lean on me, as a total stranger, whispering to me, as I'm trying to pray.
27. Tell me how little I am and that I look like a little kid, then ask me to sit in your lap. When I think you're stupid and say so, flirt with another girl and deliberately say "SHE likes me."
28. Call me a lesbian and ugly and then tell me that I think you're hot and that I want you.
29. Tell me that you love me and would never hurt me and want to treat me like the queen I am, but really cheat on me with other girls who are very young and then turn everything I ever said to you against me.
30. Write me poems, send me gifts, and tell me how you cry yourself to sleep over me at night, then pretend you died when you really didn't.
31. Lie about how far we went to all your friends, then ask me out when I had made it clear I didn't like you.
32. Repeatedly grab my sides and run your finger up my spine when I asked you repeatedly not to.
33. Follow me around saying I look 14 and refuse to believe me when I say I'm eighteen until I have to sic my brother on you.
34. Get drunk and leer at my butt and tell me I'm pretty and someone should tell me so every day when you are fifty years old.
35. Hang out the window of your house howling at me and barking like a dog.
36. Have your friend yell at me that you like me and want to go out with me while you hang back smirking.