|Bamboozle Christmas Special
Author: Mel-Dog Moody PM
Imagine if children found out about Santa this way! A parody of the night before Christmas and a commentary on commercialism all in one. Philis and Ashleigh from Song of the Superheroes show us what Christmas is like in Bamboozle.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Friendship - Words: 670 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-25-10 - id: 2876230
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Bamboozle Christmas Special
T'was two days before Christmas It's a cold blustery day in the city of Bamboozle, not a Bamboozlian is screaming in their house, they have congregated in a shopping mall, mostly to escape the resident mass murdering fire breathing mouse.
Philis and Ashleigh line up at the mall with out a care in hopes that Santa Claus would be there.
Now Philis and Ashleigh are much too old to visit jolly old Saint Nick but Fat Bandit…I mean Philis has a bone to pick.
Previously Ashleigh and her were fired from their jobs at the aquarium because a pregnant old lady man gave Philis quite a stir. Saying: "Dolphins and whales had legs." This statement is about as welcome to Philis as a stinging bur.
But really they were let go because keeping them on the roster cost to much dough. Now a bunch of rabid 14 year olds run the store and she heard Santa was going to give them more.
The line is long, Philis is feels impatient. Ashleigh hopes a visit to Kris Kringle will make Philis more cheerful and complacent, but the waiting made it worse. Ashleigh begins to feel like the day is cursed.
"OK that's it," says Philis. "SANTA ISN'T REAL!"
The dozen children burst in to tears, parents finally realizing all their fears.
"Whaaaaaah!" the children wail
Ashleigh and Philis attempt to avoid disgusted angry looks from parents with no avail.
"Blame it on Ashleigh," says Philis. "She ruined it for me last year!"
"What are you six?" says pregnant old lady man, standing beside Philis.
Meanwhile eight to ten children are shedding a tear.
"SCROOGED!" she bellows, kicking him in the rear.
"That's no way to treat old fellows!" he yells as he flies across the room, he lands on the other side of the mall with a boom.
That's it I'm tired of waiting in line Philis thinks.
"Coming through," she yells.
"This stinks!" says a parent, she collapses to the floor.
Philis barges through the winter wonder land door.
"Ho ho ho! That wasn't very nice," says Santa, drinking lemonade with ice. He sits in his North Pole royal like chair.
Philis picks up Sinter Klaus a.k.a. Santa Claus and tosses him through the air.
"Looks like I'm not making deliveries tonight!" he says as he flies through the mall with much fanfare.
More children start to cry, customers and parents gasp. What has Santa Claus done to her and why?
"That will show him" says Philis happily candy canes within her grasp.
"Uh right show them what?" says Ashleigh with a cry. "What not to do to Father Christmas? That Rudolph the red nose reindeer was actually made up by an advertising writer for the Montgomery Ward Company in 1938? That Santa was based on Saint Nicholas who promoted giving not getting. Rotten little brats!" She shakes her fist in anger.
Upon hearing this random fact about the Santa's ninth reindeer, the crowd falls to the floor. This year Philis and Ashleigh have been given the powers of super strength and mind blowing brilliance, the shopping mall goes quite. Things get stranger, despite Philis's anger.
"I know I'll be Santa Claus," says Philis with delight.
This gave Ashleigh a fright.
"Why can't I be Santa?" Ashleigh says…she thinks the task would suit her self.
"Because you're not fat enough to be Santa," Philis replies. "You're a NERD retarded weird girl who looks like an elf."
"Come on Ashleigh," says Philis. "We have to find Santa so I can take over the business of gift giving like in those movies."
"You know their not real?" says Ashleigh. "It's like saying you love anchovies."
" Nooo you're not real," says Philis. "You're a nerd."
The pair moseys past busy shoppers which closely resemble a cow buffalo type herd.
Christmas in Bamboozle will never be the same.