Reality… (Is pretty damn ugly at the moment…)

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The truth hit me just now,
The reality that will be this coming year:
All of you are still content at home
And I'm stuck by myself here.

At night it hits me hardest,
I'm lonely and I want to talk.
And I realize, just because I'm gone,
Your plans don't just up and stop.

It sucks because your lives go on
And mine's stopped at a dead halt
And although it hurts me that nothing's changed,
I know I can't hold you at fault.

I chose this path for my life,
I did this to myself – I'm aware,
But, I admit, I can't just turn the pain off,
I can't just pretend that I don't care.

I wish, as selfish as this sounds,
That your lives would stop as well,
Because I hate being the only one
To go through this year of lonely hell.

I wish you could hug me tonight,
I wish I could kiss your lips.
I with for all those things which for
The next 365 days, you won't be able to give.

And because I know this, I just ask
As I crawl into bed and pray,
Please don't forget me,
Please, please don't go away.

When my life can carry on again,
When it resumes it's normal pace,
When I come back home again,
Please let it be to your smiling face…

{{…Telling me you still love me.}}

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L. Sherman
1-5-2011