I have a problem that plagues me so
As to a solution, I really don't know -
I wish someone could help me,
Could help cure my disease
But I know it is futile
Nothing can ease
My inability to boil
EGGS.

No matter how hard I try
I can never seem to get by
No matter how hard I toil
I can never seem to boil
EGGS.

Why is this, you ask?
Ah, fie! What a task!
I fail and fail to grasp
The culinary art
of boiling
EGGS.

Again I repeat myself - why?

THEY EXPLODE!

THEY EXPLODE!

They're irritable, exploding eggs!
God help my quivering, shivering legs!
Each time I dare enter the space of the egg
Theres a chance it will wind up
all over my face -

I will wind up with egg on my face.

This morning I pulled out the pan
Steeled my resolve, formulated a plan
But within the minute
The egg I'd placed in it
EXPLODED! - so I ran.

As I fled, I cried: "CURSE YOU, EGG-GODS!"
Who enjoy watching me suffer, the bogs!
Like an old joke on rewind
I can never find
Peace
from exploding eggs.

PLEASE ANSWER MY DESPERATE PLEAS FOR HELP!!! SOS SOS SOS!