Leave Me Be

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[ Fire Me Up : Prompt A : The Roof ]

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Summary: It was on that roof that memories were made. And it was on that roof that memories were burnt.

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It was a cloudless day the morning you decided to finally use the ladder in front of your room, I remember. I was younger at the time, but I remember it clearly.

I would always go up to your room when you were gone. Outside of your window was a ladder, and if one was ever to climb that ladder, they would find themselves on top of our roof. You loved our roof. You would spend all of your time up there once you got back from wherever you went off to, and when you got back down, you'd watch cartoons with me.

As I got older, I wanted to go up there more and more. But you told me I couldn't until I was ready. I was annoyed and mad at you, but I listened to you. Then, one day before you left, you called me to your room and I ran up the stairs to meet you. You were sitting on your window pane, and I smiled because I knew what that meant. You smiled back at me and motioned for me to follow.

I ran over to the window pane and followed you up the ladder. I never felt so excited in my life. On top was a blanket, where you would sit and stare at the clouds until the sun would burn your eyes so you'd have to back down to get my eye drops. I giggled with excitement, which made you laugh at me. You sat down, and I sat down beside you.

For some time, we just looked up at the sky and the clouds. The planes that passed by didn't even bother us. All that mattered was us. Then, you looked over at me with your green eyes, and laughed. I asked why you were laughing, and you told me it's because you felt so free. I understood: you were leaving for college. Of course you were free. You smiled at me and told me you had to go pack, but I could stay up there by myself if I'd like.

I didn't want to be up there all alone, so I followed you down. I helped you pack until your friends called you up, then I went down to finish my homework. When you came back, you tucked me in and went to sleep. The next day, I cried. You were leaving and I didn't want you to leave. But you told me you'd be back, so I nodded and sucked it all in. I would be brave for you, I told myself.

Every year you would come up and we would go up to the roof for some time, just talking and gazing out at the skies. I never went up there without you. I was afraid of being up there alone, and it was your place, not mine. One day, you asked and I told you why. You laughed at me for being scared, and told me it was not yours, but ours. I smiled because that sounded good at the moment. Great actually.

I remember one year, we were up there and the neighborhood boys were passing us by. They looked up at us and yelled at you. They knew you, and they were your friends. They just wanted to say hi. One of them caught my eye though, and you knew that. You teased me about it, and I just shrugged it off. I said he was just a stupid school boy. You told me I was just a stupid school girl. I was, and still am.

Another year, we were up on the roof at night on New Year's Eve, waiting for the fireworks. I thought it'd be dangerous, but you told me you had done it before. I asked if anyone was with you before, and you said no. I then asked if you had taken anyone up here before. You said no, and I smiled because I was happy about that answer. It meant I was special to you.

Years after, we were playing board games on the roof. I was afraid I'd lose some pieces, but you told me you'd buy me another game if I did. I agreed, even though I loved my board games, and we played on the roof. I won some games, and you won the others. In the end, you beat me, but I wasn't sad. I was happy that you spent time with me. It was hard then, with you almost off to fight for your beliefs and our country.

The last time you visited, you were excited. You had a big box in hand, and I asked what it was. You told me there was a meteor shower that night, and that we would watch it together. You had even bought a telescope just in case we couldn't see it clearly. We did see it, and it was beautiful. You let me keep the telescope, and I thanked you and hugged you tight. You smiled at me and said you'd be back again next year, and we'd try to find Mars that time.

You didn't come back. You were never going to come back. We got the call, and with that, I fell. Things had crumbled so quickly, and I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye. I cried for days, and for weeks after, I hadn't even cracked a smile. My parents were even worried. I was mad at them at first, for not being sad that you were gone. I shut them out too.

I never stepped foot in your room again. It hurt me enough just to look at the roof. The blanket we sat on was in my room's closet, on the top shelf, becoming dusty from not being used. I didn't bother doing anything about it. I just sat in my room, staring out of the window. I pretended that you were still out there, and you were coming back. I was a fool for playing pretend.

One day, one of the neighborhood boys stopped by. It was the one you teased me about years before. He said he was sorry, and that he wished he could help. He then gave me a flower, the kind you and I grew out in the garden for fun, and spared me a smile before leaving. I stared at the flower after he left, and I was about to throw it away. But I didn't.

Instead, I opened the door that hadn't been opened in months. I stepped inside the now musty room, taking in your worn-out scent. I would've smiled if I still had it in me. Instead, I opened up the window. It was hard because of how long it had been, but I finally got it open. I stepped outside and placed one hand on the rusty ladder. I slowly climbed up, the flower in my hand. I placed the flower on the roof, but I didn't go up on top to sit on it.

I simply went back down and grabbed the beach chair that had been lying in my room for so long. I got dad to bring it up for me. I think he was happy that I was finally about to do something. He put it on top for me, and climbed back down. Mom even made lemonade for me, and I drank a cup. It felt good, drinking something besides water.

I put on my swimsuit, and stared at myself in the mirror. I didn't bring the blanket, because it did not make sense to me to use it without you. I walked over to your room, and grabbed your sunglasses before I stepped outside of the window once more. I took off my flip-flops in your room, and made my way up the ladder. The summer sun burnt my feet, but I did not care. I was still a little numb.

I sat down on the beach chair and looked out. The neighborhood boys were walking by again, and they waved but did not say anything. They kept on walking, and I didn't mind them. I stared up at the sky. It was warm and sunny, and the light felt good on my bare skin. My eyes did not burn that much, with your sunglasses on. You were protecting me without even knowing it.

The flower that I placed on the edge of the roof was blown away by the summer breeze. I do not know where it went, but I think it went to you.

It was a cloudless day when I decided to go up on the roof finally. There were clouds in the sky, actually, but they were all behind me. Just like my past. Just like you.

A/N: Wow. It's been some time since I finished this. It's for Fire Me Up!'s prompt from... well, a while back, heh. You were supposed to, for this prompt, make a story that went along with a picture (the link can be found on their website). Thanks for reading, and please point out any mistakes. :)