Your mother,

is loud,

fat,

and dumb.

Your mother,

is gay,

ugly,

and a crumb.

Your mother,

is a cow,

a cheese wedge,

a cat.

Your mother,

is a partridge,

a barrel,

a hat.

Your mother,

is eating,

sleeping,

and shouting.

Your mother,

is pulling,

is punting,

is pouting.

Your mother,

is killing,

curtseying,

and crying.

Your mother,

is a dough nut,

is debating,

is dying.

Your mother,

is not,

an adequate response,

when someone,

asks you,

for the punch.

If you respond with,

"Hurr hurr, your mom,"

I won't laugh,

I won't smile,

not even inside,

I'll just smack you with a fish,

named Herbert Gurside,

and take my damn drink,

you immature prick,

I ought to have kicked you,

in yo' (lady)dick.

Your mother,

is a wonderful,

beautiful,

thin young lady.

She's great,

I mean it!

Now please,

untie me, maybe?

A/N: Less than ten minutes after writing this, I made a "your mom" joke.

I am a hypocrite.

Get over it.