|My Name is Willow
Author: mynameiswillow PM
Anything and everything there is to know about what goes on in my mind, the things I've done, the things I will do. I'll update when I can.Rated: Fiction M - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,646 - Updated: 01-01-12 - Published: 03-07-11 - id: 2896951
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
4th / December / 2011
So I've moved in fully to the new house, except I've got most of my stuff scattered around the place in my new room. It's bigger and better, but I'm not going to lie, I feel home sick for Kenwick. I look out my bedroom here and all I can see is fields, trees, the bush, etc. It's nice but kind of depressing. We have ducted air con, but the one in my room sucks for some reason. My internet has also gone out for some reason. We updated it but at the moment it says 'limited access'. Sigh.
I have to work tonight, and like usual, I can't really be bothered. Last Thursday all the chickens Michael put in the roto for me fell off and turned to mush, so I made extras, but they weren't enough. So I sneakily closed the store about eight minutes early. It got busy around quarter to nine when we had no chicken and I couldn't be bothered with customers wanting to talk to me and ask what had happened so I just closed. We had a car come through around five thirty and order three large twists, which is pretty much an entire bag of twists, and then when they realised the price, they changed there order, so we ended up with all these leftover twists and we kind of just sat around and ate them all.
I went to Toodyay yesterday. It was so hot, I just didn't want to get out of the car. We drove around heaps just looking at stuff. Turns out I only live about half an hour away, as I said earlier, I now live on the border of the middle of no where.
I took Chelsea and Cassie to midland gate shopping centre on Wednesday. It was an alright day, but kind of expensive. We went to the movies and because my mum's boyfriend didn't want them to watch something inappropriate we ended up buying tickets to some film with Sarah Jessica Parker or who ever she is, and when I googled the movie, it only had three stars so I said we should just go into something else, and who cares if it's inappropriate. Chelsea agreed but Cassie panicked that we'd get caught and the police would come. I tried to tell her otherwise but she refused to believe me and we ended up going to the boring movie, and then leaving halfway through.
5th / December / 2011
1:23AM: Ugh, I just want the Internet to work! It's been hours and it won't work! I hate living so far away from a decent connection. It says I have an excellent signal but it won't connect? This morning it connected, but it took it's sweet time and last night it worked right away. But tonight, it just won't do it for me. I can't have this. I need the internet.
Mum and Ron are asleep, Cassie is passed out on the lounge and I'm not sure what Chelsea is doing, but she's in her room, so I took the chance to go on my old computer in the games room and put a bunch of old documents/photos on my stick and I spent ages just looking at them. At least that's something to do while my net won't work for me.
Work as alright for me. I had another fat message waiting for me, going on about how the head office knows I closed the store early because of the chicken incident. Whatever, like I could give a shit. My cashier Cadeyrn told me all about how he worked with Rock on Saturday and that he was saying I'm the best manager apparently, because I'm a "smooth operator", whatever that means. My boss always says things which don't necessarily make any sense.
I hate people who walk into the store two minutes before we close and decide to dine-in. People are heavily annoying. I want to shoot some people. Like seriously, go away! And it's always annoying ladies with children who scream and make mess everywhere.
Michael got shitty tonight because the guys I work with decided to send his girlfriend weird messages off of his phone. It's his fault for leaving it so open, I guess. And then I decided to add to it by telling Anthony to prank/text him all night, which he did. Anthony sent "chest nuts roasting over an open fire" to Michael about 5000 times (and a few other things), oh the joy of having unlimited text. Michael was beyond pissed and it was beyond hilarious.
I think I'll go to bed now. I don't particularly want to or feel the need to, but it's late. I don't need my sleeping pattern to become any more fucked up than what it already is, and I highly doubt my net will ever give me some leeway.
So I've been staying up until 3AM most nights lately, and then forcing myself into bed, and I usually just end up laying there for ages until I manage to fall asleep. I've become addicted to the sims again, I can't help myself. It takes my mind off of everything. Not that a whole lot is going on. But it keeps my mind busy and focused, instead of bored and that boredom leading to worries and depressed thoughts.
I got kind of sick the other week. I lost my appetite almost completely, except for salads and tea, which was awesome. I felt so much lighter. I need to make up some kind of diet plan. I feel so much better when I don't eat anything but salads and fruit.
Asides from the sims, work has been my only other form of stimulation. Ben took his weirdness to an all new level on Tuesday afternoon. He wore bright green swimming goggles while serving customers. And started singing really loudly, about how horny he is, and also into the drive-through speaker. I made a video, I just had to.
I leave for my holiday in six days, I'm actually more anxious than excited. Not just because I'm terrified of plane rides, but being so far away from home also scares me. Not that this place feels like home... yet. I really miss Kenwick. I also miss Morley, and Forrestfield, and practically everywhere else. It sucks not ever really having someone you actually belong. I've grown to discover that's quite likely why I'm such an anxious person, but I spose I always have been, even as a kid, but all the moving definitely has added to it.
I keep seeing this advert on the television for some market city tavern or something, and I swear I know the girl in it. You know how they show clips of people eating and drinking and all the rest. I don't know.
I need to go to bed because I'm suppose to go to Anthony's house in the morning. But going to bed is such a drag. And waking up is worse. I just want to sit in my room for the rest of my life. No one could carry me out of here. I don't even want to see another person. I keep telling people I'll hang out with them, and I want to, but at the same time, I don't want to. I can't explain it. It's such an effort. I just don't feel social. The thought of having to get up, get in my car, and drive somewhere to do something makes me want to bang my head into a wall, it makes me think there's no point to life.
Why can't people understand I want to be left alone? I just don't understand people, especially the people that go out every single day, and pretty much never home. Are you fucking serious? If I go out one night, then I need at least the next two or three days to myself, or I'll go mental and feel crammed. You people are fucked up.
12 / December / 2011I guess I'm settling in here, sort of, whatever really. It doesn't matter. I had to get up at 8AM this morning, yes, that's right, eight o'clock in the fucking morning, because I slept at Anthony's last night and he has work. Unfortunate for him. I thought I was gonna make it, I drove all the way home and everything but then at 12PM I passed out on my bed next to the cat. I only just woke up about fifteen minutes ago. And now I won't sleep again tonight, and my dad will be here at 8.30AM to pick me up and take me to enrol and then I've got work later, UGH.
So work was just a little bit shit last night. Bp didn't count the safe properly on Saturday night. In fact, he was short around sixty or seventy dollars. I thought he had taken the money out and put that money into the tils for spare change. I guess that would explain why he had seventy dollars extra at the end of his shift last night. And because he cut me short, I ended up with a "loss" of eighty one dollars, when it should have been under ten. Now my head's in the grinder. Cool. I tried to explain it to Rock but he's all pissed and claims he's writing a theft statement because he's "had enough". Whatever. It's not my fault Indian's can't count. That was racist, but whatever. I had to actually communicate with Bp which was just beyond me and pathetic, because I'm busy trying to be mad at him. Don't particularly want to work tomorrow.
22nd / December / 2011So I haven't updated in forever, and I have a good reason for it. I'm in Queensland right now. But I will be going back to Perth tomorrow night, unfortunately. I miss Perth but, I like it here. I haven't really had much time to write because I've had to go out every single day, and if I am home, then so are Cassie and Chelsea, and Cassie is always wanting to know what I'm doing. But she's at wet n wild right now.
I went to sea world yesterday, that was alright, but I was trying to be healthy all day so I only ate fruit and then subway at night, so I was starved the whole time. And we didn't get to touch any seals or dolphins so that was kind of shit. I went to movie world on Monday, that was probably my favourite. And Dream world on Saturday, which was good, but I ended up going home wanting to throw up because I went on this rollercoaster with Cassie one too many times.
I've actually spent more money on Ant than I have on myself whilst here. Oh well. I want to write more but I can't be bothered.
Also, the incident I wrote about earlier, with money missing on my shift, well Rock did realise it was Bp's fault, and I didn't get in trouble. So I was super happy.
24th / December / 2011So I'm home, and unfortunately just in time for Christmas. I remember when Christmas use to excite me, I guess as a child, and now it just disgusts me. They say Christmas is a time for people to come together and get a long, and all that novelty bullshit, but really, is it? When I think Christmas I think people pushing in line at the crammed shopping centres, the poor shop assistant who gets abused by impatient and rude customers doing their Christmas shopping, the turkeys who become over-bred and abused on farms just for fat dongholes to eat them, and stupid, screaming children demanding this and that. Not to mention the amount of money I have to spend. My mum wants me to wrap her present, even though she knows what it is because I bought it in front of her. I told her wrapping it would be a waste, and pointless. She called me some name, which I think means I have no Christmas spirit. Whatever, the sad thing is she thinks I care.
I'm happy to be back in Perth though. I've missed the comfort of my own bed, the easy access of the Internet and not that slow stupid Vodafone stick my mum uses, being able to drive a car, and all the other things. I don't care that Perth is a shithole. It's good enough for me.
Anthony picked me up from the airport last night. I was starving and tired so we got some food from the McDonalds in Midland and of course they stuffed up the order. That was fun. And then we went shopping today for all of the last minute presents, because I'm lazy like that.
25 / December / 2011Christmas is a total inconvenience, all I wanted to do today was play sims and watch movies and go on the net, so I can enjoy my second last day off of work in peace. But no, it had to be Christmas. At least I'm not going with my mum and her boyfriend to see my family. That would have been really shit. It gets boring and repetitive when people ask the same questions "what are you studying – nursing?" or "how's your job at chicken treat?" to which I would have to find a worthy response, and oh god, the pointless questions could go on forever. Instead, I'm going to Anthony's house. It's past noon and he said he'd message me when I can come over. I'm looking forward to driving the thirty five minutes there about as much as I am looking forward to his house most likely blasting Christmas music and being filled with ridiculous Christmas ornaments. That was rude, it should be fine, I guess I just don't see it the way other people do as I said yesterday. But I am happy to see Anthony. He's going to try and force me to go swimming, I know.
Tomorrow he has some boxing day family gathering, which I have to attend. I don't want to go, but I will because it will make him happy. Of course I want to be with him, I just don't really like those sorts of social settings, unfamiliar faces, who ask the same questions and constantly ask what my name is and how to pronounce my name, it gets tiresome. Anthony's family friends, which are these two girls, one is a few months older than me, the other is just under a year younger, they are nice and all, but last gathering I had to attend they were there, and they mixed this glass with coke, sausages, sauce, etc. Something I would have done when I was six. And then they tried to coax me into playing some game called spot light, whatever the fuck that is, I politely declined and sat in Anthony's room and listened to music. I then got a text message from Anthony about forty minutes later, apparently he had taken the game too seriously, and locked himself in the boot of his car. That was funny.
I just got the message from Anthony, it's time to go to his house. I have no idea what's going to go down when I get there, but I need to brace myself.
27th / December / 2011So Anthony's house was actually alright. Christmas was pretty cruisy, there wasn't any stupid Christmas music playing and his mum cooked a big pile of food as usual. My boss just messaged me asking me to work tomorrow night... /sigh. I don't particularly want to. But I said yes because apparently the people rostered on to work are alright. I hate working with shit people. Anyway, Christmas was alright. Boxing day was kind of lame at first. He had all his family over like I said. It was fine, but awkward. Anthony and I stayed in his room for most of the time but his younger cousins wouldn't leave. So I kinda had to sit there for a few hours watching them play games. Oh well. When everyone left things were much better. We got some dinner and watched a movie, was pretty good.
I'm so sad that I have to go to work today. It's actually the worst feeling. I want to quit my job and play sims forever, but I probably already said that. I have ten grand saved up, I don't actually need to work but I'm addicted to the money. At least that extra shift can help me out for all the money I have lost from the last two weeks of not working. Hm.
2nd / January / 2012So I know it's January, I'm about to upload this I just thought I'd recap over the last few days before uploading a pretty limited document. I'm fucking sick right now, I've got some throat infection. My whole house has it, and of course I had to catch it. It's my boyfriend's 20th birthday tomorrow so I need to try and muster up enough strength to get up and out of bed and go to his house some time this afternoon so I can sleep over tonight. That's kind of dramatic, but I do feel pretty damn bad.
I had to work yesterday, which was new years day, and that fucking sucked. Not only was I sick as hell, I got called into work by my boss who had a 'big night', two hours early, so I could cover the rest of his shift. And to make it worse, we were understaffed, and it was crazy busy, so I didn't get to lock up the store until half an hour after my shift finished. Stupid fucking customers. Yesterday was just plain horrible. Everything on my body hurt once I finally got home. So Michael was telling me how he dumped his girlfriend, of supposed, six years, and now he's dating this fifteen year old, and he just moved in with her. Anyway I found out that this fifteen year old is the sister of a girl who was in my grade at Forrestfield. Yuck. Tracey. My boss is having some big work party at his house on Friday night. I don't really want to go considering most of the good people don't work here any more. But because I'm one of the assistants it's kind of standard that I go, anything less just wouldn't be on. But then a part of me wants to go because I know how awkward and weird it's going to be. Bp is going, and I don't like him, so it'll be a good chance for me to stir things if I can. I mean, I don't think many people will go, just Michael and that new African chick who does mornings with him, and I think Ben too. It's kind of depressing, how lame it's going to be though. But I can't get out of it.
New years eve was alright, even though I was really sick. I got pissed off with Anthony at first though. He was like, 'you're sick so you should just stay home and sleep, and everyone can come to my house'. I actually wanted to punch him. Gee thanks buddy, what an offer. I mean, I'm not really that much of a celebratory person, but I do believe in being with people on new years, even if you do fuck all. But it worked out in the end. Corry, Michelle and Adam (a long with Anthony) stayed at mine that night. We ordered pizza, drank, played super smash bros, and murder in the dark. It was pretty good until I got extremely tired at half past 12, and went to bed.
I don't think anything interesting happened over the past few days. Work was extremely quiet. Which was good and bad. I got my teeth whitened at this place which was a birthday present, and I go back in two days, it was okay. And I had to work an extra shift, which was actually good in the end anyway. I dunno. Guess that's it for this year.