|Breath Me Free From This Pain
Author: diverse enigma PM
Get me through this nightmare, let the voices stop, or just kill me!” I scream at the top of my lungs. I fall to my knees in the mud ripping my hair out of my scalp, I am going crazy. I can’t handle my life, I can’t escape this hell. READ/REVIEW! PLEASE!Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,569 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12-26-11 - Published: 03-17-11 - id: 2899772
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I ran through the woods trying to escape life, trying to find death. The moonlight shined through the trees unto my pale skin. I stopped looking up at the moon as tears washed my face from the dirt of my life.
"GOD, I have had impure thought," I whisper as kneeled on my knees. The rocks cut through my pants as I continue in my prayer.
"I like pain, and it's the one thing that reminds me, I am still alive" I sob.
I shake my whole body screamed as my nails ripped my flesh. I can't stop as my nails dig deep into my face and I claw at my legs. There this voice in my head and it won't stop screaming.
"Please God get me through this nightmare, let the voices stop, or just kill me! Let me die so I can be with my mom" I scream at the top of my lungs. I fall to my side in the mud, ripping my hair out of my scalp. I am going crazy. I can't handle my life, I can't escape this hell. I look up at the sky as rain drops fall onto my bleeding face. I fall on my back closing my eyes, as the rain poured on to my body. I couldn't move. So, this was what it was like to die. It felt nice; my body was numb as I smiled. I can finial escape this world, which isn't what I had expected.
"Are you ok," A voice from the heavens called?
"God is that you," I say my eyes still closed?
"No, I am not God, I am Mark," He says.
"Sorry God, I didn't know you had a name," I say smiling.
"But, I am ready for you," I say holding up my hands.
He grabbed my hand pulling me into his arms. It was warm and he smelled nice.
"God, you smell good and you're warm," I say snuggling my head into his shirt.
"Ok, let get you out of here," He says.
"Yes take me to heaven, I am tired of this world," I say
"Ahh why is that?" he says
"God, you messed up on this world. Where were you when my father died, or when my mother died, or when I was about to end my life," I ask my voice on the bridge of sobbing?
"I am so sorry, but I bet your mom and dad didn't want to leave you" he says
"It was suicide," I whispered, "I was seven and nine years later my mother ended her life as well."
He held me tighter as I sobbed into his chest.
"But you're here to save me now," I say hugging him back.
"Don't ever leave me again," I cry as my body shakes in his arms.
"Promise me you won't leave me," I sob.
"I promise, just calm down, try to sleep," He says.
I did what he said and soon I found myself falling into a deep sleep. In my dream I was flying. I had wings of an Angel. I was happy and someone was holding my hand, but I couldn't make out there face. I just remember a smile on their face and those violet eyes.
"I found her in the woods and she thought I was God." God's voice says
"Well, good thing you found her, she would have died" says an unfamiliar female voice.
"Yeah I am glad I found her too," God says.
I smile God loves me, but that when I realized no one held my hand.
"My hand, God where are you" I shouted in panic. I couldn't move, I tried opening my eyes.
"I'm here" Says God voice as he grabbed my hand.
I opened my eyes to see a smile face with violet eyes. My body shakes and tears came out my eyes as I realized the horrifying truth.
"You're not God, are you" I ask?
"I am Mark, but I am here," he says gripping my hand. I gripped it tighter and sobbed.
"So I am not in heaven with my mother or God," My body began to lash out as it shacked uncontrollable. He grabbed me holding me down as I struggled to break free.
"Shhh, please calm down," he whispered as he cradled me in his arms like a baby. My body stopped shaking as he held me in his arms, I felt calm. I gripped onto his shirt like if my life depended on it.
"Why am I alive," I say looking at his shirt? It was a pretty green shirt with blood stains.
"He saved you," says the female's voice. I let go of the shirt as I dug my nails into my arm.
"Why" I say angrily? He grabbed my hands, seeing my nails scratching my arms.
"Stop, what you are doing," he says looking at me with those violet eyes?
"Making sure I can still feel," I gasp.
"Please don't hurt yourself" he says in a sorry voice.
"It doesn't hurt, it makes me feel alive" I say grabbing his hand as I close my eyes.
"Poor child, it seems life as not been kind," says the female's voice. Not been kind, doesn't even begin to describe the pain, I have been through. But pain was the one thing I felt more than anything. Pain was the one thing that connected me to everyone else. I feel completely stupid to have called him God. Now look at me, in his arms like some child. But I needed someone to hold me; no one has ever held me like this since my mother's death. It felt nice, so nice I didn't want it to ever end. But that's one thing I have learned nothing good ever lasts.
When I woke up again I realized I couldn't move again. I soon realized why I couldn't move. My hands and legs where strapped down. I was in medical room no one was here except me. I heard some voices so I closed my eyes, so they wouldn't know I was awake.
"I going to inject some more morphine into her," says a male's voice. That's why I kept sleeping and not fully awaking. They were drugging me. I had to stop them; I didn't want to sleep anymore. I opened my eyes and struggled to break free.
"Let me go," I hiss. They stared at me as if I was some crazy lady they just want to put down. The male doctor came close to me with a needle of let me guess morphine in his hand. I let out a bloody murder scream. He dropped the needle as it shattered on the floor. He let out a curse and accused his nurse. That's when he came towards me with his hand grabbing my hair.
"Stupid girl, do want us to lock you up," he growled? I screamed again as he shoved some type of cloth into my mouth to silence my scream. He came really close to me, his eyes murderess. I could feel his breath on my neck.