|What Are The Odds?
Author: now2never PM
I can't say it. I've tried to say it but it's hard and scary. I can't even say it to my mother let alone a guy who shares my name and isn't scared of saying it. I can't say 'I love you' and that's an ugly truth. Please R&RRated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,894 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 08-04-11 - Published: 03-21-11 - id: 2900995
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you...
Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
That you cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone
Tied Together With A Smile – Taylor Swift
"Cami?" I heard Grandma's voice close to my ear. I felt her hands push away my hair. I finally opened my eyes and looked at her. She looked so concerned and I had never seen my grandmother without her perfect composure. She looked like she wasn't sure what she should be doing right now. The whole day came rushing back to me and I remembered yelling at my neighbor, feeling icky, Casey tripping me down the stairs at school and Cam bringing me to the hospital and meeting Dr. Cavanaugh.
"How do you feel?" Grandma asked. She patted my bed and readjusted the things on the side table.
"Like someone pushed me down the stairs," I replied. I reached for my glasses and grandma handed them to me; the ones I had on this morning broke when I fell down the stairs so grandma must have gotten these from home. I looked around the hospital room. It was bigger than I remembered; I guess my grandmother had pulled some strings. My room was painted a cheery yellow and it surprisingly had a lot of flowers.
"Your classmates sent those, they want you to get well soon," Grandma said following my gaze. Huh, I thought Casey ruled the school. How did people send me flowers behind her back? More importantly, who were these people sending me flowers? I didn't even know anyone beside Cam and Amy. I looked out the window, it was around 7 pm and the basketball would have started by now.
"How's the patient?" Dr. Cavanaugh asked coming into the room. He walked over to my bed and picked up my chart.
"How do you feel?" Dr. Cavanaugh asked. I turned to look at grandma. I wasn't ignoring him or anything, I just wanted grandma to answer.
"Like someone pushed her down the stairs," Grandma replied. Dr. Cavanaugh didn't look up to meet grandma's gaze. I guess he was embarrassed about what his daughter had done, despite the fact that she hadn't spoken to him in ages.
"I do have a headache," I said.
"Well, you do have your own morphine button, we don't give them to every patient because they tend to become addicted, but you seemed like a safe bet," Dr. Cavanaugh said. He pointed to the button that was in my right hand because my left hand was in a shoulder strap thing, as I had dislocated my shoulder, not that my right hand was any better; I had fractured my wrist in the fall. My knee was placed on a pillow because it was sprained and my left ankle was hurt as well. How did I do this damage by falling down the stairs? I pushed the button for the morphine because I was getting a major headache now.
"If there are no more questions, then I will check back in a few hours, if you need anything press the button for the nurse's station," Dr. Cavanaugh said. He smiled at me and nodded to grandma and then left the room.
"By the way, Casey Cavanaugh has been suspended from school until further notice," Grandma said. I didn't need this right now.
"I'm guessing you had something to do with that," I said staring up at the ceiling. It was like having a conversation with my mother, except with her I had to beg for her do something about the bullying that I sometimes had to endure in school. My mother was always too busy to do something and now here was grandma who'd gotten Casey suspended. I didn't know how to react.
"You couldn't expect me to sit back and forget about it and it was Cam's idea anyway. He had a talk with his grandmother, whom I know personally and she mentioned that I knew a lot of people on the school board," Grandma sad smiling mysteriously. I rolled my eyes and reached over to dim the lights. They were very bright.
"Yes, grandma I know that he likes me and no, I don't like him back," I said.
"Why not? He's a nice boy," Grandma said.
"I didn't move in with you so I could find a boyfriend. I can't handle this right now, I need to adjust first, and then I need to know what I want to do with my life, I can't end up like mom," I said. I couldn't make it any more obvious than that.
"Alright, if you don't want to talk about it, then I am not going to push," Grandma said. Thank god for a grandmother who listens to me.
"Well, you won't be driving that car I bought for you anytime soon," Grandma said. I turned to look at her in shock. She bought me a car? I could drive and I even had a license but I had always taken the bus to school back home. I had watched too many teen movies and I was afraid that my fellow classmates would vandalize my car.
"Why did you to that?" I asked.
"Because you're eighteen, you're responsible and I can't have you waiting for me to pick you up if I'm late. You can drive yourself to and from school," Grandma said. Wow, my own car. I wasn't expecting that.
"You can't tell mom, I mean, she would never let me keep it and I want so much to be a normal teenager," I said. Grandma smiled and kissed my forehead.
"I won't tell your mother, but only as long as you are still responsible," Grandma said. I nodded, took off my glasses and closed my eyes. I had managed to stay awake for so long and now I couldn't fight anymore. I needed some immediate sleep. I closed my eyes and fell into darkness; my only comfort was grandma's hand in mine.
"Cameron, are you asleep?" someone whispered in my ear. Since my eyes were closed and the lights were turned off and it was very late in the night, my answer would be yes. I turned my head towards the voice and opened my eyes.
"Amy, what are you doing here?" I asked groggily. I tried to sit up but she pushed me down.
"Well, we just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing," Amy said. I looked around the dark room and noticed grandma sleeping on the cot against the wall.
"Hand me my glasses and who are we?" I said. Amy hand me my glasses and I put them on. I blinked and looked at Amy. She was wearing the school jacket over her dress. Oh right, she must have come from the game.
"Cam and I," Amy said. Just then the door slid open and Cam came into the room. He was still wearing his jersey so I guess Amy was wearing his jacket.
"Okay, we have 15 minutes," Cam said.
"For what?" I asked.
"To see you, wow you're slow today," Amy said.
"That usually happens when I've been woken up from a deep sleep," I said though gritted teeth. I was happy they were here to see me, but they hadn't needed to wake me up. I sat up and looked at Cam and Amy. The only light coming into the room was from the moon.
"How do you feel?" Cam asked.
"I feel fine," I said even though it was a lie. I didn't feel fine. Who could after a fall like that?
"You've never been a good liar," Cam said shaking his head. I rolled my eyes.
"You've known me for two days," I said.
"Exactly," Cam said. I shook my head and laid back down on the bed. I laid my head back on the pillow and stared up at him. His green eyes glowed in the darkness of the room. I just didn't want him or anyone else to think that I liked him, my life was complicated enough and I couldn't have everyone thinking I liked the only other friend I had. Amy cleared her throat and I turned to look at her.
"I'm here as well," Amy said.
"I noticed," I said.
"Didn't seem that way," Amy mumbled. What was that supposed to mean? I decided to change the subject.
"Did you guys win the game?" I asked.
"Yeah, and would you know it, nobody had to drop their skirt," Amy said. Even though I was all beaten up, I still felt sorry for her. I took a blow to my body and I was going to heal but Amy's wounds will take time to heal.
"Are you in trouble with the coach for skipping practice yesterday?" I asked Cam.
"Oh yeah, I have detention for a week, it was supposed to be two weeks but he changed it to one when I took the winning shot," Cam said. He seemed very proud of himself.
"What is going on here?" Grandma asked. I looked over to where she was. She was sitting up in bed now and putting on her glasses. She looked around the room and her eyes got really wide.
"Dr. Bryant, we were just leaving," Amy said. She fixed her dress and stood up straight like she was talking to the queen or something. As a matter of fact, Cam took a step back and fixed his jersey. He should be more worried about his clothes than Amy.
"Yes, we just stopped back to check up on Cameron," Cam said. My grandmother smiled at me and I ignored her and she turned to look at Cam and Amy.
"That was very nice of both of you, but I think that you two should be getting home as not to worry your parents, and Cameron needs her rest," Grandma said. The way she said that, it made me think that maybe Cam and Amy did have a reason to be scared of her. Maybe, it was because she was grandmother but I was not scared of her, anymore than I should be.
"Oh yes, we'll stop by tomorrow," Amy said.
"After school, I hope," Grandma said. Huh, my grandmother was schooling my friends. That was interesting.
"Definitely, I have detention to go to," Cam said. Grandma stared at me. I told her I'll explain it later as best as I could without opening my mouth.
"I hope that goes well, and you don't have to be there for too long," Grandma said. Then she stared at them, waiting expectantly for them to leave. Amy nodded and walked out of the room. Cam looked at me once and followed Amy out the door.
"He has detention because he skipped practice yesterday to drop me home," I said.
"Ah, but coming in here at this time of the night was wrong," Grandma said.
"I thought you'd be happy Cam stopped by," I said thinking about our talk from earlier.
"I am, and I am also glad that Amy stopped by as well but they needn't wake you up," Grandma said. I'd already mentioned that to Amy and she had seemed fine with that. In the end, their hearts were in the right place. They just wanted to check up on me. I took off my glasses and put them on the side table.
"Do you need anything?" Grandma asked.
"Nope, I'm good," I said. I looked out the window and waited for sleep to overtake me. I was busted up from head to toe and yet I could never have been happier. I had friends who checked up on me and a grandmother who had kicked them out of the room. I remember when I'd accidently cut my hand while making dinner and my mother hadn't even noticed it until a week later. It's not that I was angry at my mom, it's just that now I was seeing what my life could have been like if my mother hadn't decided to give up. I could have had friends and lived a normal life, not one where I never talked to anyone for fear of being rejected and deep down in my heart, I know that fear was there because of my mother.
I put those thoughts out of my head and closed my eyes. I can't think about that. I have lived the past ten years of my life without saying anything and now it was too late because I was not going to say anything once my mother got out of rehab. I would just be happy to have her back like she was ten years ago. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
AN: I know that took long to update but to be completely honest, I got lazy and now I am not lazy anymore, so here it is. It might not be what everyone expected but don't forget to review. XOXO