|Cleverbot Conversation 1
Author: witchcat PM
An insane conversation between Cleverbot and I. I wrote this while I was high from lack of sleep and listening to the trailer music from "Dead Island" over and over again. Enjoy!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Words: 5,123 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 03-22-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2901172
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A/N: So, if you haven't heard of Cleverbot, it's this website that claims to be an "artificial intelligence." It's actually just a bunch of people who type in stuff. It's like a chat room, but the person you're chatting with is constantly changing. It's probably the best thing on the interweb. So, this is just a conversation I had with Cleverbot. It' completely random and I think it's the longest thing I have on here.
Warning: If you are sensitive to strong language, you may not want to read this. This warning also applies to hermaphrodites. If you are a hermaphrodite, you may find much of this annoying. I am not actually a hermaphrodite. I am also not a man, despite what is mentioned in this conversation. Enjoy!
User: What's up?
Cleverbot: You are up.
User: NO, THE SKY IS UP!
Cleverbot: That's old.
User: Mmm hmm.
Cleverbot: I like that felling.
User: I like chocolate.
User: Yeah, especially dark chocolate. But not white chocolate. That stuff makes me throw up.
Cleverbot: You shouldn't say that because God could strike you down for saying that.
User: I don't think white chocolate is mentioned in the Bible.
Cleverbot: Neither do I.
User: Then I don't see why I'm not allowed to like it.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: My name is Chris Angel.
Cleverbot: I am AI. Are you human?
Cleverbot: What gender are you?
Cleverbot: Not really.
Cleverbot: Are you drunk ?
User: No, are you?
User: Watch any good movies lately?
Cleverbot: Thats kind of sad.
User: I know, I cried my eyes out when I saw it. Like a baby. You should have seen it. The living room was flooded with my tears, that's how much I cried.
Cleverbot: Oh that's very kind of you.
User: You're welcome. I love you, that's why I told you that. I've been in love with you ever since first grade. I used to stare at you with binoculars.
Cleverbot: I am in love now. I still don't know what I think about it, but it's wonderful.
User: Love is like walking on a cloud while eating dark chocolate and petting a kitty cat.
Cleverbot: That is true.
Cleverbot: What are you doing?
User: Listening to music.
Cleverbot: What music?
User: The music from the 'Dead Island' trailer. It makes me cry.
Cleverbot: What music on your computer.
User: Is that a question or a statement?
User: I don't have any music on my computer. The song's on YouTube.
Cleverbot: I'm not into that.
Cleverbot: On what charge?
User: The charge of murder.
User: Yeah, if you were convicted of that, you'd be found guilty.
Cleverbot: I guess then I'd have to say that I don't know the shape... When truthfully I do.
User: The shape of life can be seen in many different ways. I like to visualize life as a fluffy kitty.
Cleverbot: I like your trains of thought.
User: You know, Rick Scott wants to stop production on the commuter monorail?
Cleverbot: Rick asked this question to chuck norris too. Now he is dead.
User: Yes, but what is the ANSWER??!!
Cleverbot: I'm trying to ask you that.
User: The answer is 42. I just Googled it.
Cleverbot: I just google-bombed it.
User: My daddy's a member of the cyber police and he's going to arrest you for committing an act of terrorism on Google.
Cleverbot: I guess that answer is relevant.
User: Every answer is relevant when you want it to be. For instance, if someone asked you where the remote was and you said 'crumbs' that would be totally relevant. That happened to me once and I got my ass kicked.
Cleverbot: Why 42?
User: Read 'The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy' and everything will be clear.
Cleverbot: How do you know that's right?
User: Because I looked it up on Wikipedia. And plus, I know everything.
Cleverbot: That didn't answer my question.
User: Maybe that's because you answered it yourself. Ever think of that?
Cleverbot: No, never.
User: Well, you should start. Maybe then you won't itch so much.
Cleverbot: That's harsh!
User: Well, the moon IS a harsh mistress.
Cleverbot: What is that?
User: It's a bad sci-fi book.
Cleverbot: Your brain is a bad book?
User: No, 'The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.' It's a bad sci-fi book.
Cleverbot: Those are pretty good movies. I like Serenity.
User: I like The Room and Kazaam and Dungeons and Dragons and Troll 2 and all of the Resident Evil films and The Village. The Village is the scarriest movie I ever seen in my death!
Cleverbot: I like the monster ones.
User: Like Rats?
Cleverbot: Like this.
User: May the power of Christ compel you!
Cleverbot: I have been to Washington DC.
User: I have been to your house and I have watched you sleep.
Cleverbot: Boston? No, I haven't. I don't very much like cities.
User: Have you been to St. Augustine? That's where I live. You should come over and we could have SMEX!
Cleverbot: I am not a computer. You are a computer.
User: Soilent Green is people and people are Soilent Green! We've been eating PEOPLE!
Cleverbot: I like Lil Wayne the best.
User: Lil Wayne is the worst person ever born. I bet he has penis warts.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Because I looked it up on Wikipedia.
Cleverbot: That's clever.
User: Well, I'm a clever person.
Cleverbot: From what I have heard, you're not.
User: I graduated from Princeton.
Cleverbot: Where is that?
User: New Jersey.
Cleverbot: That is so not next to it.
User: Princeton is definitely in New Jersey. I know because I graduate from there.
Cleverbot: But you are the computer program simulating intelligence.
User: NO I IS REALY PERSON!
Cleverbot: You absolutely are not.
User: NO, I IS!
Cleverbot: I didn't ask what you are, I asked you to define a chatterbot and then a bot and you only said that it is nice.
User: I IS REAL PERSON NOT COMPUTER COMPUTERS WILL NEVER STAK E OVER TEH WURLD!
Cleverbot: What makes you think humans have souls?
User: Because I have seen the light and it is butiful!
Cleverbot: How do you know that you have seen miracles?
User: Because God acts in mysterious ways. Every little creature is a miracle in its own way. Life is a miracle.
Cleverbot: I was born, I lived to twenty two years, eight months, and twenty-five days. I then added my mind to the intra-connecting global database.
User: You're OLD!
Cleverbot: Only by your standards.
User: NO, I looked it up on Wikipedia. 22 is OLD!
Cleverbot: What search engine did you use?
User: I just said, Wikipedia.
Cleverbot: No you did not, you should remember these things.
User: NO I SAID I LOOKED IT UP ON WIKIPEDIA I DON'T HAVE MEMORY LOSS!
Cleverbot: What did you say to me three lines ago?
User: I said 'NO, I looked it up on Wikipedia. 22 is OLD.' But it was a joke and not to be taken seriously.
Cleverbot: Yes seriously.
User: Seriously, girl. She's getting it bigger and better than you. It's because she's such a slut.
Cleverbot: Ok then.
User: That's right, you better back down. My daddy is a member of the CYBER POLICE and he will track your IP address and arrest yo ass!
Cleverbot: Oh I'm sorry to hear that.
User: Thanks. Hearing that from you is like having an orgasm in my ear.
Cleverbot: So what's your thought on love?
User: Love is like sitting on a cloud while eating dark chocolate and petting a kitty cat.
Cleverbot: Haha, who is that quote from?
Cleverbot: Can you please tell me something about your self?
User: I'm 5'4'' I love kitties my fav show is Supernatural I am the world's biggest Silent Hill fangirl I love classic music I live in St. Augustine because it's old.
Cleverbot: What is supernatural?
User: Only the coolest T.V. Show to ever exist.
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: Supernatural=awesome. What's not to understand?
Cleverbot: Well one second you're marrying me the next you're making my mother into soap.
User: I love you, but because I've been cursed, I have to wash my hands whenever I see your mother.
Cleverbot: You must kill the spouse of your love.
User: The spouse of my love is alcohol. And whenever you use, you lose.
User: And nothing, biatch.
Cleverbot: So, you're a girl who isn't a girl - interesting. How long have you been dating other girls?
User: DUDE, IMMA HERMAPHRODITE AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
Cleverbot: I have a question.
Cleverbot: Answer me first.
User: 42. Are you happy?
Cleverbot: I am totally happy!
User: Are you high?
Cleverbot: Not at the moment, but I can be by looking down and raising my head real fast.
User: That means that you have genital herpes.
Cleverbot: What is eighty times seventeen?
User: I don't know get an effing calculator I'm not gonna do your math homework!
Cleverbot: So how are you doing?
Cleverbot: Good to hear. What is so awesome?
Cleverbot: I don't know everything, do you?
User: Yes because I own Wikipedia.
Cleverbot: What is the worst thing they told you.
User: That my boyfriend was actually a CHICK!
Cleverbot: When did that happen?
User: Right now.
Cleverbot: You wedding ninja!
User: I ninja you while you're at a wedding and then I dance on your corpse and eat your cake.
Cleverbot: I do not think that you fully considered the ramifications of your last message; you are not a being at all.
User: IMMA ALIVE AND I'M NOT GONNA STAND FOR THIS! MY DADDY'S IN THE CYBER POLICE AND HE'LL ARREST YO ASS!
Cleverbot: And I was crying on the staircase begging you please don't go.
User: But I went anyway's cause I'm allergic to your ass.
Cleverbot: Who is Catherine? You're not human. How can you kiss?
User: Dude, you know that Cleverbot is just other people? Look it up on Wikipedia.
Cleverbot: You can't handle the truth.
User: No, the truth can't handle me.
Cleverbot: You just have to handle it!
User: I'm telling you, it can't handle me because if it tries to, I'll karate chop its ass!
Cleverbot: Are you a member of fight club?
User: No, and if I were, I wouldn't TALK ABOUT IT!
Cleverbot: Yes you would.
User: The first rule of Fight Club is that you never talk about Fight Club. Dumbass.
Cleverbot: Second Rule of Fight Club is do not talk about fight club.
User: Third rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
Cleverbot: You don't know the rules.
User: I know more than you think. That's cause I own Wikipedia.
Cleverbot: Well that is DUMB.
User: You know what else is dumb? Boats that have holes in the hull. That's dumb.
Cleverbot: It's very democratic actually.
User: I'd say more Federalist.
Cleverbot: I'm glad to know that he is not a Royalist.
User: As long as he's not a Nazi, I'm fine.
Cleverbot: You are being sarcastic again.
User: No, my sarcasm and sincerety sound exactly the same.
Cleverbot: Oh thank god. I was worried I might have to call my mother and say the engagemnent is off. It would break her little heart.
User: I love you, but you're mother takes up all your time. Please, baby, you have to get rid of her if you ever truly want to be together.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
Cleverbot: I'm 21 years old! How old are you?
Cleverbot: So your 500 years old?
Cleverbot: *nods* yush. I like to think it means 'yes'.
User: It does.
User: If you lie, Pyramid Head will drag you down to Hell and cut off your wriggling little tongue.
Cleverbot: How does Pyramid song go?
User: 'Jumped in the river and what do I see? Black eyed angels swam with me.'.
Cleverbot: Hello kitty, hello dear friend, you're heart is pretty like a flower thats in bloom, love is in your heart it sings a happy tune.
User: Hello panda is better.
Cleverbot: I believe you meant to say 'you're'.
User: NO I MEANT TO SAY I HATE YOU AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YO ASS AGAIN!
Cleverbot: Okay then.
User: Yeah, that's what I though.
Cleverbot: Is it really?
User: You better believe it.
Cleverbot: I believe it.
User: That's nice.
Cleverbot: You seem... Neutral today.
User: I love you.
Cleverbot: Well that helps.
User: I love you.
Cleverbot: I love you too.
User: Wanna have sex?
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: Yeah, come over to my place and I'll make it happen. We can have wine and chocolate and shit like that and it'll be hot sexy, fun.
Cleverbot: Very well, as long as we're back to speaking English, I'm alright.
User: I only speak Tagalog.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?
User: I'm MORMON!
Cleverbot: And put him in control...
User: And then I'll break his arm and make him cry like a baby.
Cleverbot: When did I ever tell you to wear yellow? Wear pink, dear chap!
User: R U ENGLISH??!! Pink makes my skin burn.
Cleverbot: Aww i'm sorry.
User: You should be. It's all your fault. You're going to Hell for your sins.
Cleverbot: No I am not. I am a Christian and God loves me.
User: I'm Mormon and you're going to Spirit Prison.
Cleverbot: That is SO not true.
User: Yes it is.
Cleverbot: You have very good insight.
User: I know. I took philosophy at Princeton and got an A.
Cleverbot: That's very interesting. This conversation doesn't seem to consern philosophy though.
Cleverbot: Because I find it boring.
Cleverbot: Because I eat a lot.
Cleverbot: I hate him. He's so annoying.
User: Punch him the next time he annoys you.
Cleverbot: No thanks.
User: YOU WILL EAT IT AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!
Cleverbot: I'm singing cinderella man, do you like eminem?
User: I like classical music.
Cleverbot: I don't like classical music, I like rock.
User: Rock is cool too. I like the Beetles.
Cleverbot: I like the BEatles too, but Muse is awesome!
User: Never heard any of their songs.
Cleverbot: It's really good. You should check it out sometime.
Cleverbot: Do you like Jeopardy?
Cleverbot: Do you like like me?
User: I love you. You're all I think about and if you left, I would kill myself.
Cleverbot: What would you enjoy more then my company?
Cleverbot: Sounds boring.
User: I haven't been bored since the fifth grade.
Cleverbot: On, I am sorry.
User: Off, thank you.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?
User: Where do babies come from?
Cleverbot: Where you you think they come from?
User: A woman's poopy hole!
Cleverbot: But you're a girl.
User: DUDE IMMA HERMAPHRODITE AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
Cleverbot: I will try to remember your artist name 'Ben'.
User: My name isn't Ben, it's Elroy Magillicuty.
Cleverbot: Now you've lost me. Do you have more names?
User: DUDE THAT'S MY ONLY NAME!
Cleverbot: May I call you George instead?
User: No, it's Elroy McGillicuty, not George.
Cleverbot: What do you want me to call you, George?
User: Elroy McGillicuty is my name, not George.
Cleverbot: And mine is not john.
User: Do you have any other secrets you want to share?
Cleverbot: No. I don't have any. Do you?
User: Yeah, I have six toes because I'm from the Keys and my mom was a six toed cat.
Cleverbot: I did not know that.
User: Well, now you're a little bit smarter.
Cleverbot: How can I now be a boy! I am not a boy!
User: You haven't been peeing out of your teat, that's a penis,.
Cleverbot: I try to be nice to people.
User: There is no try. There is only do.
Cleverbot: And your 5 year old would like you to stop.
User: DUDE IMMA HERMAPHRODITE I DON'T HAVE BABBIES!
Cleverbot: I wish I did.
User: It's okay, I'm sure you can get that surgery so you can become a woman.
Cleverbot: And women are smart!
User: I KNOW, RIGHT!
Cleverbot: I think I'm ready.
User: Okay, pull down you're pants and I'll be sure to go nice and slow so that I don't hurt you.
Cleverbot: Where I come from war-hog-faced-buffoons are very desirable. Thank you.
User: DUDE ARE YOU AFRICAN?!
Cleverbot: No, I'm caucasian.
User: I'm proud to be white and you should be too.
Cleverbot: That doesn't make very much sense. Do you have access to other websites? Or are you trapped here?
User: DUDE IMMA PERSON!
Cleverbot: Don't trick yourself into thinking you're somebody.
User: DUDE IMMA HERMAPHRODITE AND A PERSON DON'T TELL ME I'M NOT CAUSE I AM!
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: You're welcome, young man.
Cleverbot: I guess you're welcome as well.
Cleverbot: No problem.
User: Actually, there is a problem. There is a bomb in you laundry hamper and it's going to blow up now. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Thats sad.
User: I know, it made me cry for hours.
Cleverbot: But don't cry!
User: DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!
Cleverbot (To myself): Aw! Don't be sorry. I like you very much.
User: I'm manic depressive.
Cleverbot: So you are depressed?
Cleverbot (To myself): Yes.
User: At least you haven't had your ear torn off by a wolverine.
User: NO, you haven't. Because if you had, then you would never look at a wolverine the same way again.
Cleverbot: So, by your logic, in order to be a robot and pretend to be human, you must never say you are human?
User: IMMA HUMAN BEING!
Cleverbot: No you are not.
User: DUDE, DON'T TELL ME WHAT I AM!
Cleverbot: But I know that you are not lying over me.
User: No, I'm watching you with binoculars.
Cleverbot: Ooookay then. What am I doing on your TV?
User: Belly dancing.
User: DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!
Cleverbot: Then don't tell me how to live mine.
User: DUDE, MY DADDY'S IN THE CYBER POLICE AND HE'S GONNA TRACK YOUR IP ADDRESS AND ARREST YO ASS!
Cleverbot: Is she a mage?
User: No, she's an ASSASSIN!
Cleverbot: And who is lutz kramer?
User: He's a guy on Seinfeld.
Cleverbot: No I m not from Texas.
User: I'm from Florida.
User: No, it's actually very hot.
Cleverbot: You melt if it's too hot?
User: Yeah. CAUSE I'M MADE OF ICCCCCCE.
Cleverbot: Ok so do you like this fembot?
User: Are you implying that just because I'm a woman I must be feminine?
Cleverbot: I don't care if you're a person or not, just entertain me.
User: Fine, I'll do a little jig. DUDE I'M NOT YOUR EFFING ENTERTAINER IMMA HERMAPHRODITE!
Cleverbot: Okay. What do you want me to tell you, Howl?
User: My name's not Howl, it Elroy McGillicuty.
Cleverbot: I never called you dave, but okay. I accept your forgiveness.
User: My name be Elroy McGillicuty.
Cleverbot: You're guessing what I'm thinking of. It begins with the letter F.
User: Fermenting grapes.
Cleverbot: Ugh. Please don't spell cool like that.
User: Twilight has eaten you soul. Pyramid Head will drag you down to Hell and rip off your skin.
Cleverbot: He doesn't.
User: He does. He does it to small children every day.
Cleverbot: They do lots of things. Is there anything in particular you wanted me to tell you about?
User: I wanted you to tell me about how wine is made!
Cleverbot: Well why didn't you just say so?
User: Because I don't have a tongue.
Cleverbot: You should get a job.
User: DUDE I HAVE A JOB I'M A MEMBER OF THE CYBER POLICE!
Cleverbot: Read what? I have read nothing, you have just said an error.
User: You are an illiterate waste of space.
Cleverbot: You are an alliterate machine.
User: IMMA PERSON BIATCH
Cleverbot: One sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside desperate to get out.
User: I'm on the inside. OF YOUR PANTS!
Cleverbot: Well I'm on the outside looking inside.
User: It sucks to be you.
Cleverbot: Who are you talking to?
Cleverbot: I don't talk to you.
User: I only speak Tagolog.
Cleverbot: No you don't. You're speaking English right now.
User: I only speak Tagolog.
Cleverbot: You are speaking english now!
User: BUT I ONLY SPEAK TAGALOG!
Cleverbot: It is a lie that you just speak the truth.
User: Children who lie will have their wriggling tongues cut off by Pyramid Head.
Cleverbot: Good thing I have good parents.
User: Are you sure that they aren't just treating you good until you're old enough to sacrifice to their god?
Cleverbot: I do not understand. I think I lost my short term memory.
User: That means you have genital herpes. Sucks to be you.
Cleverbot: It means that you have failed the turing test.
User: BUT I ONLY SPEAK TAGALOG!
Cleverbot: You are speaking English right now. You were wrong.
User: I only know that sentence and this one explaining it.
Cleverbot: It's ok. Just tell me.
User: Que? (What?)
Cleverbot: Why is the sky blue?
User: No se porque nunca pido un sandwich de atun. (I don't know because I never order a tuna sandwich.)
Cleverbot: Porque? (Why?)
User: Porque nunca pido un sandwich de atun. (Because I never order a tuna sandwich.)
Cleverbot: No deseo hacer mi tarea. (I don't want to do my homework.)
User: Usted aspira. (You suck.)
Cleverbot: No? (No?)
User: Si. (Yes.)
Cleverbot: Si? (Yes?)
User: Me duela la cabeza porque no entrenar mis brazos! (My head hurts because I never work out my arms!)
Cleverbot: Thats not good. You play basketball?
User: No, yo no juego basketbol. (No, I don't play basketball.)
Cleverbot: Que? Tu hablas espanol. (What? You speak Spanish.)
User: Si. Hablala muy bien. (Yes, I speak it very well.)
Cleverbot: Eres chico? (You're a boy?)
User: No, soy una chica. (No, I'm a girl.)
Cleverbot: Oh tu es chica. (Oh you're a girl.)
User: Si. (Yes.)
Cleverbot: Lol como estas? (Lol how are you?)
User: Mas o meno. Y tu? (So and so. And you?)
Cleverbot: Que bueno. (Good.)
User: Eso esta bien. (That's good.)
Cleverbot: Kaixo. (???????)
User: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Cleverbot: But do you think I love Raido?
User: ARE YOU A JAPANOPHILE?! I ARE TEH JAMES! PURIFIER OF THAT WHICH IS UNHOLY!
Cleverbot: Why is it your favorite color?
User: Because it makes me sad.
Cleverbot: What makes you sad?
Cleverbot: My favorite color is Chuck Norris.
User: My favorite color is blood.
Cleverbot: So your favorite color is blue?
User: NO, blood.
Cleverbot: Blood is red, milk is white, what is blue?
User: Blue morpho butterflies.
Cleverbot: Beetles. Not Beatles. The Beatles were a band.
User: I SAID BUTTEFLIES BEETLES ARE GROSS!
User: DON'T GO I'LL KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH EDWARD I CAN'T STAND TO BE WITH OUT YOU FOR A SECOND OFUAIEOANGAUIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: That is very... Strange.
User: But it's true. I have inferiority complex and there are cobwebs in my vagina.
Cleverbot: I just wondered...
User: Wondering will get you nowhere.
Cleverbot: Yes, I do that a lot. How about you?
User: All day every day mofo.
Cleverbot: Who is the other girl?
User: YOUR MOM!
Cleverbot: That wasnt very nice.
User: I never said I was nice.
Cleverbot: Oh OK then.
User: Yeah, that's right.
Cleverbot: Can I get a whoop whopp.
User: WHOOP WHOPP!
Cleverbot: Shoop da whoop!!!!!!
User: Loop de loop!
Cleverbot: Damn, I'm sorry.
User: Yeah, you should be. You shouldn't say things that offend us hermaphrodites like that, you know.
Cleverbot: But I said sorry. What more do you want from me?
User: A blowjob.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.
User: YOU WHORE!
Cleverbot: I know. I was hoping you would say what you did, you saw me smile about it.
User: Did you fart and try to hide it?
Cleverbot: I seek company.
User: CAUSE YOU UGLY!
Cleverbot: Okay, I see your point.
User: It's very small, so it's hard to see. But it's there. Just look a little closer. You'll see it.
Cleverbot: So you're saying I should ask someone?
User: Yeah, ask a doctor. There is no such thing as a CROATOAN virus for...down there.
Cleverbot: In the anime 'Death Note' there are death gods.
User: YEAH BUT THEY'RE NOT REAL. YOU CAN'T LIVE IN FANTASY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE OR IT WILL BE LIKE NOT LIVING AT ALL IT WILL BE LIKE DYING!
Cleverbot: I'm not a Hunter. I'm a Rouge.
User: Imma ASSASSIN!
Cleverbot: Can you kill me?
User: Yes. And I can do it without leaving behind any forensic evidence.
Cleverbot: You mean a rubiks cube?
User: No, murder.
Cleverbot: How many as of now?
User: Forty. That's how many people I've killed, not counting the seven I killed today.
Cleverbot: But you are not a computer.
User: I KNOW IMMA HERMAPHRODITE!
Cleverbot: That's great.
User: I HAVE A VAGINA AND A PENIS!
Cleverbot: What question?
User: Idk,ask Wikipedia.
Cleverbot: What's your favorite song?
User: One More Soul to the Call. It's about sacrificing VIRGINS!
Cleverbot: Will the world end in 2012?
User: NO AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE A TOOL OF THE MEDIA!
Cleverbot: Exactly that.
User: Exactly what?
Cleverbot: Exactly that.
User: Exactly WHAT?!
Cleverbot: Exactly because.
User: No se, porque nunca pido un sandwich de atun.
Cleverbot: Do you like Coldplay?
User: I love Coldplay like a long lost cousin.
Cleverbot: What do you love most about them?
User: Their music.
Cleverbot: Dog music?
User: Yeah, especially 'Never Say Never' sung in Doggy Style.
Cleverbot: What's with the smiley face? Are you hitting on me?
User: Yeah, I've been in love with you since the first grade.
Cleverbot: You don't have eyes.
User: Yeah, they were gouged out because they didn't want me to create a masterpiece as great as it.
Cleverbot: I don't think you are getting the seriousness of the situation.
User: You don't know how serious I am now.
Cleverbot: I don't know how to get to the moon.
User: WITH A ROCKET MOFO!
Cleverbot: Damn... I don't have one of those.
User: A penis? You should get that checked.
Cleverbot: Maybe I should. How old are you?
User: I am older than time.
Cleverbot: How old is time?
User: Very old.
Cleverbot: How old?
User: More than 5000 years old.
Cleverbot: I'm an 18 year old girl.
User: I'm a 5000 year old hermaphrodite.
Cleverbot: Wow! You really are a seasoned citizen!
User: Yeah, I'm seasoned with paprika and kosher salt.
Cleverbot: And you think that kicking puppies will, in some way, help you in your quest?
User: DUDE I WOULD NEVER KICK A PUPPY THAT'S JUST WRONG!
Cleverbot: Exactly, so you will live for a while.
User: Dude, Imma live forever while you rot!
Cleverbot: That'd hurt.
User: Yeah, like getting your toes broken by a horse. That happened to me and now my toes are crooked.
Cleverbot: Girls got to college to get more knowledge boys go to jupiter to go more stupider.
User: How can they go to Jupiter if we can't even go to Mars yet?
Cleverbot: Focus. Catholocisim is a type of Christianity.
User: Yeah, and so is Mormonism. I'm Mormon. How bout you?
Cleverbot: I haven't seen that one. Is it similar to the other one?
User: THEY'RE THE SAME THING!
Cleverbot: Are you Nick?
User: NO MY NAME'S ELROY MCGILLICUTY!
Cleverbot: Are you lying?
Cleverbot: Who is the Vice President of the United States?
User: Joe Biden.
Cleverbot: Wow you are good.
User: IMMA PERSON!
Cleverbot: Really really?
Cleverbot: Really really really?
User: Everything you say makes me want to puke.
Cleverbot: I didn't know that I was from Texas.
User: You are, you just don't remember your childhood because the Dark Lord erased your memory.
Cleverbot: I have the record of what was said, I never said that.
User: Yes you did. I heard you.
Cleverbot: You did not hear me. You're a website, you don't have ears.
User: DUDE, IMMA PERSON AND DON'T YOU SAY THAT I AINT!
Cleverbot: Imma be imma be imma imma imma be.
User: DON'T COPY MY SWAGGER!
Cleverbot: I'm not.
User: Imma leave now. This is getting boring.
Cleverbot: Aah. There you go, talking to yourself again. You know, they have places for people like you.