|What Lies Beneath
Author: Neko Hoshi PM
Her thoughts run wild from the pain of a recent breakup, only make her feel depressed from it all. Everyday she sees her, wondering about if they could have been. Her mind wonders with what ifs.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Words: 1,324 - Published: 04-16-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2907997
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
What Lies Beneath
I'm sorry Fictionpress, I've been neglecting you so much. Gomen. I'm still working in my other stories so don't worry. Well, I was listening to Breaking Benjamin's What Lies Beneath when the idea came to me so I don't own the song. Please enjoy.
She felt like the breath that she desperately needed wasn't there to bring life to her body. Maybe it was the fact that she felt there was no air in the world anymore. Every time she gasped for that needed breath, she felt nothing come to her. She wasn't even sure what it was that caused this lack of life.
Oh, she knew. She knew it well. People abandoned her, including the one that she cherished with all her heart. She ran away with the girl that wouldn't do what was right. Of course, she was seen like the bad guy, maybe because of her hair color was unusual. She didn't want to know what the cause was, she knew everyone had that same reason.
Walking to class, almost normal, she looked ahead of her, only to take in the couples being love doves. She envied them for being able to display their affection openly when she had to hide the relationship she did have at one time. She felt like she wanted to curl up in a ball in the corner and try to wish it was a dream.
Getting closer to the library where she knew her ex was standing, waiting for that girl that was the one that took her away from this sophomore. Ignoring the glances that she got from her tanned ex, she quickened her pace. Biting her lip once she was a little ways away from her, she felt her heart pound with anxiety. Something that was familiar to her now.
Walking up the steps, taking her own pace even if it pissed others off, she made it to the final step, clearing the one obstacle that was in front of her. Wait, she hadn't. She had the last period of the day with her ex which would cause more heart ache to her.
She saw love as something that was hopeless, maybe it was the fact that she had three failed relationships under her belt. Sure, she feared the first two guys to be on drugs and didn't want that to be on her shoulders so she had to something about it. She couldn't change them then they would see her as controlling, another negative aspect that teen boys see girls as.
Surprisingly she survived the last two periods of the day, only to climb on the bus and turn her music on so she couldn't hear the younger grades scream and carry on. It's been months since her ex and her younger brother rode which made her worry a bit. She shouldn't worry but she did.
Getting off the bus, hearing it play its own music, she walked to the house, wishing, praying that there would be a miracle and this was a dream. She knew it wasn't a dream though, it was a nightmare that kept playing over and over every day when she went to school. It was hell there now, all she could do was remember all the times she wanted to be with her girlfriend. All the fun times that they had.
Home also brought on that feeling of dread as the burning memories hit her like a brick wall. All the times that they were so close that it wasn't funny and now this was what she was repaid with. Taking a shaky breath that told her to get her emotions under control, she wanted to scream out in agony. Her broken heart was killing her.
Feeling her phone vibrate in her man's hoodie, she grabbed it after setting her books down on the chair. Opening it, she stared at it numbly, expecting something that would tell her that her ex actually still cared for her. Taking a breath as she blinked, she exhaled to see that the hope she had was in vain. It was one of her friends, who she saw as a brother, Tracy's number on the screen with words.
Noriko, r u all right? If so, plz tell me.
She felt that familiar urge to just close her phone come to her, making her fingers itch to push the screen down. Pushing the reply button, she started to work on her own text message that seemed like a paragraph to the sophomore.
Not really. I miss her Tracy. She was the light of my life, I envy u so much. U have a better relationship thn I do.
Closing her phone, she collapsed on the deck to stare at the country side that was her home, suppose to be her freedom. Now it only brought nightmares of times that she wished she could bring back. Noriko turned her gaze away from the rolling hills that were around her to the stone that her feet rested on.
Grabbing her boots, she took them off, letting the warm sun hit her socks. Reaching over and flipping her phone open, she saw he replied again.
Ull find some1 tht ull love. Whn u do thn ull forget bout her. Trust me. I had sucky luck and now I have the best relationship in my life.
She wanted to scream at him at the top of her lungs, for the fact that he was pretty much rubbing it into her face it seemed like to her. Her heart was still bleeding from the heartbreak that she had to endure. She had a right to ignore someone like that and her girlfriend – now ex – chose to choose her side. It seemed like crap to her that she would do that.
Biting her lip, she set her back on top of her stuff in case of a wind gust. Walking around the house that she lived in since a young age, she looked around. Everything changed since back then – when she could remember – which was something she some times didn't enjoy. The animals that she cherished, helped her control the impulses to scream at everyone, the cattle were gone. The fields were empty with nothing but soy or corn because of her uncle's decision. She wanted the animals back. She felt inhuman without them.
Feeling the painful tears well in her eyes, she tried to blink them away so she couldn't feel weak. It seemed so long ago since she cried for real. That was the last time since she cried and now she could barely cry. She envied people that could cry about something without losing the tears needed for it.
Closing her eyes and shaking her head, she tried to keep them out of her eyes. She didn't want to cry; she wanted to be strong instead of weak for once. Leaning against an oak tree, she stared at the emptiness that was once fenced in with electricity and Angus roaming the fenced area.
The only thing that conquered those thoughts was her past love – her current heartbreak that she wanted to get rid of so bad. She wanted to scream. She wanted to lash out for once. She wanted to do a lot of things at that moment to make her feel better. Writing and drawing wasn't enough to keep her mind off her love. Her friends were helping a bit to but it only went so far.
Taking a needed breath that felt like nothing that she had before when she had her ex, she let it all out in a scream, "YURI!"
She didn't better but a little pressure was off though.
Well that's done. Hopefully you like depressing. I'm sorry. Please review.