"Have you ever wanted to jump?" Maggie turned her large blue eyes towards me, and then went back to staring down at the pavement far below. I swallowed, and tried hard to focus on the horizon. Heights had always scared me.

"No," I say, trying to make my voice sound firm.

"No, of course not." Maggie sighs, but she steps away from the railing. I feel myself let go of a breath, and some of dizziness recedes. "You are…" Her eyes are bright, set off by the fuzzy pale blue scarf she's wrapped around her neck. Her hair is still in its sleek dark brown bun, and her cheeks are rosy as though she's been running, "a coward…" she finishes softly. I don't know what to say or do. A part of me wants to go to her and put my arms around her, and protect her from the demons that haunt her. But if I was a coward, what protection could I offer her? She brushes past me and starts towards the stairs that lead back into the apartment building. I watch her go, but make no move to follow her.

I take a deep breath.

I take a step towards the rail.

God I love her. Demons and all.

I take another step.

I imagine her now, sitting in her apartment. She's putting water on to boil. She only drinks tea. Never coffee. Outside on her porch she keeps several potted plants. During the summer she likes to take the leaves and make tea from them. She hates living in the city. A garden porch is not a garden at all.

She's changed a lot. She used to laugh. Her laugh used to remind me of my grandmother's wind chimes and the delicate tinkling sound they used to make. After she died my parents had kept her house, and left the wind chimes in place. One very still summer night, the kind where you can feel the sweat beading on your flesh, I was outside on the porch and the chimes had started to move and tinkle. Was that why her laugh reminded me of the chimes? To this day I can't think of chimes without thinking of ghosts. Is that why her laugh reminded me of chimes, because it was haunted?

She's right I am a coward.

My breath is coming faster

as I take another step.

At least she used to laugh.

Each step becomes harder.

I wonder what's become of those chimes. We kept the house for two years then my parents got a divorce and sold the house. I don't know what happened to the chimes. I never told them about hearing them that still summer night. They would have laughed.

What happened to her laugh?

I can almost touch the rail.

Was it because of Danny? Her brother Danny? Her wild, crazy brother Danny. He left her behind so many times. So many tears fell because of him. But when he was there she laughed. Even if her laugh was like haunted wind chimes. Now he had really done it. Left her behind for good.

How could he do that to her?

I can almost see over it.

I wish I was strong enough for her. I wish she could love me as much as I love her. But I know the most she can give me is her...

What can she give me?

I look over the rail.

It's a long way down.