|15 Useful Ways to Use a Croissant
Author: u r - w a i f u PM
Because just eating it is not enough.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Words: 527 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 05-27-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2918420
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
15 Useful Ways to Use a Croissant
A croissant is a buttery flaky bread according to 'Wikipedia' and is only used to consume. But is this all the almighty croissant can do? Well today little boys and girls we'll show you 20 new ways to use a croissant.
"But all I want to do is just eat the croissant." Little Billy chimed.
"Well Little Billy, you don't know jack shit about anything. Now pipe down and listen."
Useful way to use a croissant No 1: 'Use it as a back scratcher.' Once you've used a croissant you'll never go back!
Useful way to use a croissant No 2: 'Use it as a Frisbee/boomerang.' Your dog will go barking mad for it. Warning: Croissants are not the best things to feed your dog.
Useful way to use a croissant No 3: 'Use it as a wedding gift for the newly wedded couple.' Nothing says "Mazel Tov" like a croissant.
Useful way to use a croissant No 4: 'Give it to your teacher.' Who needs a bright shiny red apple when you have a fresh croissant?
Useful way to use a croissant No 5: 'Use it as a corsage.' Prom never tasted any better.
Useful way to use a croissant No 6: 'Use it to pretend that you're on the phone while trying to ignore that annoying person who wants to talk to you.' Being a bitch never smelt so delicious.
Useful way to use a croissant No 7: 'Fly it like a kite.'
Useful way to use a croissant No 8: 'Make a smoothie out of it.' Will it blend? Of course it does!
Useful way to use a croissant No 9: 'Make it your very own pet croissant!'
Useful way to use a croissant No 10: 'Use it as toilet paper!'
Useful way to use a croissant No 11: 'You can even use it to feed the homeless or better yet the pigeons.'
Useful way to use a croissant No 12: 'Use it to clean your ears.'
Useful way to use a croissant No 13: 'Bring it to the science fair and amaze everyone at its awesomeness.'
Useful way to use a croissant No 14: 'Use it as an excuse for not doing your homework.'
Useful way to use a croissant No 15: 'Finally, once you have done everything that is possible with a croissant… USE IT AS A DOOMSDAY MACHINE!'
"Well Little Billy, now you know how awesome the croissant is."
"You know what I don't feel like eating a croissant." Throwing away the croissant Little Billy slowly left the scene.
"Get back here you little son of a—"
Experiencing technical problems
Now that, that kid is dead we can end this intermission and get you back to your daily life.
Enjoy each croissant like it's your last!
A/N: After eating a croissant this kind of came to my head. Yeah, sure it's not funny (Kind of juvenile) but I do hope that someone would at least use one way of using a croissant.
Note: No Little Billy's were harmed in the making of this.