|Lord KIldermare's Cane
Author: Slackitude PM
Suze steals a valuable cane, and the original owner hires Elliot Gandermail to get it back.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,834 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 07-07-11 - Published: 06-11-11 - id: 2922611
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Suze wasted no time and ordered a beer as soon as she entered the casino. She was grateful for the cool rush of air conditioning that enveloped her as she stepped through the doors. She looked around and easily spotted Linda Truestep, her height making her stick out from the crowd. I must stand out like that...thought Suze as she threaded her way through casino patrons to meet up with Linda.
Out in the van, Max's cellphone rang. From the caller ID it was Elliot. "Every thing's fine Elliot" said Max, as he thumbed the phone on.
"Suze doing all right?" Elliot asked through the tiny phone.
"Sure, sure, she's already in the casino with Truestep. Everything is going according to plan," the big man assured him.
"OK, just...be careful," said Elliot.
"Don't worry so much," said Max, "you can't control every single aspect of this thing."
It was always this way, because of his agoraphobia Elliot was trapped inside his little home, so he came up with the plans and sent Max and assorted others out to carry them out. Then, wracked with guilt over the risks Max and the others faced, Elliot sat at home and worried. For his part, Max found it oddly endearing, the way Elliot worried over him.
"Wow, you're really putting away the beer" said Linda Truestep.
"Maybe I'm nervous" said Suze.
"A girl as pretty as you? You've got nothing to be nervous about darlin'," Linda smiled.
Suze smiled, but felt another twinge of guilt. She signaled for a waiter and ordered another beer. She'd had three beers. Too many? She was having a hard time thinking critically. She knew she had to sneak the little capsule full of white powder into Linda Truestep's drink, and Stan had shown her a slight of hand move for that, she was prepared for it. She just wanted...a few more drinks...to get ready.
"You're pretty, you telling me you never get nervous?" Suze said.
Linda laughed. "The trick is not to let it show" she said.
Suze occasionally reached out and fidgeted with their drinks, as if it were a nervous habit. For cover, when she dropped the capsule. She knew she should just go ahead and drop the capsule, but she wasn't quite ready...
Max and Stan waited in the heat of the van, increasingly impatient. Max finally turned over the van's motor and fired up the air conditioning.
"What do you suppose is taking so long?" Asked Stan for perhaps the fifth time.
"I don't know but we can't exactly go in there inconspicuously dressed like this" replied Max.
When Suze finally dropped the capsule into Linda Truestep's drink it was done almost impulsively, on a whim. Just as she did it Linda looked at her watch.
"Oh, hey, sugar," she said, "I gotta be goin' soon. This has been fun, I'd like to see you again, if I could have your number?"
Suze wasn't prepared for this, and blurted out her real number, remembering to change the last two numbers at the last moment. Linda wrote this down on the back of an old business card along with the fake name Suze had already given her.
Linda gulped down her drink then rose to her feet "I really should be going" she said.
Suze stood as well "I'll walk you to your car" she said, hastily. How long does that stuff take to work? She thought. The original plan was that Truestep would fall unconscious at the table and Suze would explain that her friend had a little too much to drink and take her out to Linda's car and use Linda's keys to drive her sleeping body back to her apartment and put her to bed. Why did I drink all that beer? Thought Suze as she realized she was a little unsteady on her feet.
Max and Stan saw Linda Truestep come out to the parking lot, followed by Suze.
"The Hell?" Said Max.
The two walked over to Truestep's Chevy, and paused at the drivers door.
"Well," said Linda, "I really do have to get going."
She leaned in to kiss Suze, and Suze answered her kiss, somewhat tentatively. In the middle of it, Truestep collapsed against the side of the Chevy with a breathy sigh.
"Wow," said Suze, "I can really kiss"
"Wow," said Max, watching from the van, "she can really kiss."
"That's the capsule" said Stan.
"I know that, doofus" Max said with a grin.
Suze supported Linda's weight with one arm, and with the other she opened the door of the Chevy and muscled Linda Truestep's sleeping form into the passenger seat. Seating herself in the drivers seat she fished the keys out of Linda's pocket and started up the car, backing out of the parking space and heading for Truestep's apartment. Suze turned on the radio and found a station playing some Leonard Cohen. "First We Take Manhattan, Then We Take Berlin." She was very relaxed. Perhaps a little too relaxed. For one thing she wasn't taking into account that Max and Stan had to follow her and was pushing the Chevy, much lighter than their van, to it's limits.
"Wow, she's drivin' like this is the races" said Max, smiling with the adrenaline rush.
"I think I'm gonna' get carsick" Stan complained, a little green showing around his lips as he held onto the van's dashboard with a white knuckled death grip.
Fortunately Linda Truestep lived close to the casino so the duo pulled up to a stop before Stan threw up in the van. Linda saw the pest control van pull in behind her and suddenly remembered her partners. Just how many beers did I have? She thought, in a sudden panic. Suze took a deep breath. "You're fine," she said to herself, "you can do this."
Suze got out of Linda's car and greeted Max and Stan.
"Jeez, you tryin' to get us all arrested? You drive like a maniac!" Stan griped.
"I don't believe in wasting time, which we're doing right now," Suze replied, "Want to help me get Truestep up to her apartment?"
The three worked together to carry Linda Truestep's sleeping body up to her apartment, Stan also hefting his makeup case.
Once inside, Stan took command, seeing to it that Linda was propped up comfortably on her bed and easily visible, then seating Suze and himself beside the bed in kitchen chairs, Suze across from Truestep for easy visual reference. Stan had Max place his makeup case on a small bedside table he pulled up to hold it. "Might as well relax," he told Max, "this is going to take a few little whiles"
"Yeah, well move it along Stan, she's gotta' be at work in forty five minutes" Max replied.
Stan consulted his watch. "Hmmm...this complicates things. I'll have to work quickly."
Why did I waste all that time drinking beer? Thought Suze. "Sorry guys," she said, "I was just waiting for the right moment to drop the capsule into Truestep's drink."
"Hey," Max said, grinning, "I figure you got butterflies. It happens. Heck, I was starting to think you were bulletproof, nice to see some humanity in there."
"Yeah," said Max, "it's OK, I can work fast. And you've picked up Truestep's mannerism's really well, a rush job should pass just fine."
Stan went to work with his makeup kit, turning Suze into Linda Truestep.
Max called Elliot.
"Hello Max, everything all right?" Elliot answered.
"Sure, sure, everything is going fine. Stan is applying Suze's makeup now."
"You're running a little bit late..." Elliot worried.
"Nothing we can't handle, mom. Stan says he'll work fast and no one'll know the difference."
"OK," Elliot relented, "Stay safe"
"Will do, chief," Max grinned.
Eventually, Stan was satisfied.
"It's not the top down bells and whistles treatment, but it will have to do for tonight. Do you feel ready for this?" He asked Suze.
"Why sure, Sugar. That ol' Lord Kildermare ain't gonna' know what hit him" she replied, eerily, in the voice and face of the sleeping woman on the bed next to her. Suze quickly went through the apartment and found a maid's uniform to wear to "work" while Max and Stan straightened up what little mess they'd left behind.
"Anybody touch anything without gloves on?" Max asked. Suze and Stan chorused their "nos" and Max declared the apartment clean. Max and Stan prepared to leave as Suze prepared to change into the maid's uniform. "Remember," Max said to Suze, "we're just a phone call away. And drive a little more reasonably over to Lord Kildermare's, don't screw this up by getting busted for speeding on the way to the job."
Max and Stan left, and drove off to a point half way to Lord Kildermare's, to await the call for the "exterminators".
Suze quickly changed into the maid's uniform, and placed her jeans and t-shirt into the extra large purse she'd brought just for the occasion. She also got the business card with most of her real number on it out of Linda Truestep's purse. Maybe she was starting to sober up.
She went downstairs and got into Linda's car, driving to Lord Kildermare's house. The guards waved her right on through the gate, and she parked in employee parking. She was halfway across the lawn and to the main entrance when an armed guard blocked her progress, talking into the radio headset affixed to his ear.
"Ma'am? I'm afraid I have to stop you right here..." Then, to his radio, "What's the trouble? She's not really Linda Truestep?"