Icarus Deramore

Ever since I was young I knew that I was powerful, the way I was treated by my nurse, or the older children was different then they treated all the other neophytes my age. When I asked for something I would get it immediately, from a drink to a precious book from the forbidden library. But there was something else that I knew; of no fault of my own my father hated me.

I know what you're thinking, how can a father hate their daughter, but when you're born to a family that knows the only way to stay in control is to be the most powerful and a little girl that hasn't even fully grown into her powers can knock you out of you chair with just an angry thought you grow to resent that child. The first memory that I remember the clearest is the last time that I was allowed to play with my little brother, and that is where this story begins.

"Stop it, you're not playing fair." My little brother's indignant squeals set my teeth on edge.

"We're playing tag, you have to run away and if you get tagged you're it." The words came out harsh and angry. My brother stood his full three-foot height and glared at me like he did to his nurses when he didn't get his way. It was a look so full of hate and anger that it made most of the underlings give him what he wanted out of fear of retribution from my father, but I wasn't afraid of this spoiled brat he was going to play by the rules this time.

"Well I don't want to play like that." His look was slowly giving way to a wobbly lip and teary eyes that would trick any nurse that didn't fall for the glare into giving him what he wanted. Big wet tears made steady paths down his face and snot formed around the edges of his nostrils. I walked up to him and looked him in eyes.

"Those are the rules, you can't change them just because you don't like them." he started making hiccupping sounds and the snot collecting around his nose started to drip. "Stop crying," I growled, "or I'll give you something to cry about."

My words made him pause, a look of confusion crossed his face he couldn't seem to understand why he hadn't gotten his way yet. "You're just angry because Daddy loves me more." He spat savagely. I jerked back slightly, shocked at the pain that filled my heart at his words. Pure contempt spread across his two years old face, "You're being mean because Daddy never touches you," I glared at him shaking my head and trying to deny the truth of his words. "He never gives you a hug, or kisses you goodnight, and you're just jealous that's why you're being mean." Angry heat and malice spread through my body.

All the instances of my fathers blatant dislike for me flashed in my head. The nights when my stepmother had to convince him to at least look at me long enough to say goodnight, or rest his hand on my head at court functions to show the lie of a strong family. But it fooled nobody all the nobles knew that he hated me, some of them even witnessed the times when he was drunk on faerie blood and would storm through the castle raging and shouting for me. The times when he would find me and grab my hair and scream in my face, the times when his fist would fly with his stinging jibes. He would blame me for my mother's death, he would blame me for his slow loss of power, and when words didn't hurt me enough to bring tears his fist or his fangs would.

Heart rendering pain coursed through my body and I screamed at my little brother, how dare he throw my pain in my face. How dare he look at me with contempt, I was going to wipe that smug little smirk off his face. All thoughts left my head and I jumped on him, my fingernails elongated into claws that sunk into his skin and ripped through it like putty. Horrible terrifying power filled my small body and magic coursed through my limbs making the pain I felt become the pain my brother felt; the longing for any attention besides fearful obedience or spiteful remarks poured into the cuts that I made with my claws, marks that would never heal smooth like we as vampires were supposed to do. I was so overcome with pain and humiliation with yearning for love that I couldn't stop. It wasn't till my father's personal guard came and dragged me off of him that my claws stopped tearing into my brother's skin.

And it wasn't till I was dragged off my crying brother that I saw my father, standing at the edge of the courtyard grimacing and shouting angrily at the guards to slit my throat for daring to touch the royal heir. And at that moment he looked at me and said, "You little bitch, you're no child of mine." Those words slammed into my hazy consciousness and I felt the full extent of my longing to be loved by my father, I felt the hatred that I had for that wretched man.

For years I lived in the castle with my father, only the sacred laws of our kind keeping me from being killed. It didn't stop him from making my life a living hell, my room was my prison and the only time I was allowed out was when I was needed in court functions. Though I was raised with all the "pleasures" of high society I had none of the freedom even a prisoner enjoyed, my only view outside of the palace was from my balcony. The only solace I found from my depressing captivity was the books that I had brought to me every day from the Royal library, and the company of my maid who didn't hold me in quite the same disgust as my only other visitor did.

I know you think that I was unjust in my venomous displeasure in my father, but I wasn't the only one that suffered from his addiction to power. My entire race, my people, suffered from his disease as well. The poor peasants that my people collaborated with for nourishment were enslaved and forced to drain themselves dry to feed the steadily growing ambitions of my father that demanded the blood to supply his waning power and keep it strong. It is recorded that to keep himself at full power my father consumed enough blood to sustain 3 full grown vampires for a period of 6 weeks, all in about one week, just so he could dispel a minor infestation in the castle that could have been taken care of easily by the cats. But it wasn't just my father that mistreated the humans, my oh so special brother and Heir along with his cronies were given special privileges as well. They went down into the villages and raped or consumed anything that caught their interest. But of course all of this went unnoticed by the terrified nobles who just bowed and simpered at my fathers feet like the pathetic parasites that they were.

I sat in my room most days trying to find some way that I could stop the atrocities that my father was committing and coming up blank, because even though he had to suck humans dry left and right to keep it up his power was stronger then mine at the time. Though I could feel my magic slowly growing within myself I wasn't anywhere near as powerful as he. Or that's what I thought at least. The truth was that I was untrained, and at that point in my life if I had even gotten a child's education on how to control magic I could have overthrown my father in a heart beat, but all the tutors were forbidden to teach me and handsomely rewarded for following instructions.

After years of listening to the nauseating stories about my brother and father's tyranny I finally grew sick of the injustice and decided that I couldn't live the lie that was my life any longer.

I don't know how well versed you are in the ways of vampires but we age much differently then humans, at the point of my escape I was 30 years old, though I looked to be 15, my father had been ruling for almost half a millennium and the people under his control had been abused for almost the entirety of his reign though it wasn't till my birth that it started to become so atrocious. You see my father wasn't always such a complete tyrant, my mother was the half of the ruling pair that had kept him in check. Her love for humanity, for life in general was able to keep him from breaking the contract that had been established by the generations before him and becoming the tyrant that he is to this day.

My mother died from the one disease that my people can get, we call it blood sickness. No one knows the cause, and there is no cure, but there is a way to stall imminent death. Getting pregnant will keep the diseased vampire alive. The best the scientists can come up with, as a reason is that the mutated genes in our blood that help us live for so long mutate again to fight the foreign disease in order to protect the baby.

When my mother contacted the disease, she got pregnant immediately. The kingdom rejoiced even through the pain because for 9 months the kingdom was in perfect peace.