|Heartache Every Moment
Author: Collar de Espinas PM
It's heartache every moment with you. Whoever said it would be easy, even for two rock-stars in love? And what happens when it looks like they're going to lose it all? MxM *CURRENTLY ONGOING*Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,793 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 09-05-11 - Published: 06-29-11 - id: 2928146
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's Note: This is just a little rock-fic one-shot that I actually wrote years ago, as a piece of fan fiction. I've modified it a bit in the hopes that it works as an OC one-shot, so would really like to know what you guys think of it. Gimme some Con Crit!
This is currently just a stand-alone one-shot piece, though I have contemplated the possibility of turning it into a series/'full length' fiction at some point. Again, if you like the sound of that...let me know by reading and reviewing. FYI, the italicised section is flashback.
I just can't look at him anymore. I know he doesn't realise that he's done anything, let alone what it is that he's done, but I can't decide if that makes it better or worse. I can see him sitting in the over-stuffed couch opposite me, grinning from underneath his flaxen dreadlocks at something that our drummer, Dave, has said. He's drinking again tonight and it unsettles me, a pool of dread collecting at the pit of my stomach. I know how horny Cameron gets when he's drunk, and tonight that worries me.
It takes me a while to notice that he has looked up from his conversation with Dave and is smiling shyly at me. Well, at least it's nice to know that he isn't that far gone yet, still retaining a sliver of his usually reserved manner. Knowing it'll look suspicious if I don't join them eventually, I reluctantly rise to my feet and make my way across the room to where the rest of the band is seated.
"Nice of you to join us," grins Mick, our bassist, as he leans back to take another swig from his drink. "Were you planning on camping out at the bar by yourself all night or were you just getting warmed up?"
"Why would I plan on 'camping out' at the bar when at least half its contents are here with you drunks?" I grin back, to which Cameron laughs.
"Always exaggerating, Lucas," he chuckles quietly, stretching over to steal the lit cigarette I've just placed on the ashtray.
He lifts it upwards to slide it smoothly between his lips. Sighing, I reach over and pluck it from his lips before he has a chance to breathe, instead placing it between my own lips and taking a long, slow drag.
"-You quit," I say simply, puffing at the cigarette and avoiding his gaze at all costs.
"Yeah well, you're asthmatic," he retorts, attempting to steal the cigarette from me once more, but to no avail.
"Oh, come on Luke- you're no fun tonight," he pouts.
From the faint whine in his voice I can tell that the alcohol is beginning to take effect. Trying to be as subtle as I can be, I inch away from him discreetly, not knowing if I can manage being in such close proximity with him when he's in this state.
"Now, now you two- stop flirting! Cam, be good and drink up," Mick chides, chuckling a little drunkenly and sliding another full glass over the counter towards Cameron.
I really don't think he needs anymore to drink. I can already see that all-too-familiar glint in his eyes. Cam, however, complies and chugs down whatever it is that Mick has placed in front of him, before waving at a passing woman (who I swear isn't actually the waitress) and orders another three. I can tell that it is going to be a verylong night.
It isn't long until Cam is very, very drunk. He's been flirting with random passers-by all night and is currently tucked away in a corner with his tongue down the throat of a pretty, young brunette. I can hardly tell where she begins and he ends, they are so tangled up in each other. I sigh, tipping my head back and letting the cool alcoholic contents of my glass slide easily down my throat, savouring the familiar, comforting burn. Setting my now empty glass down on the counter, I signal to the bartender to get me another.
"You're looking rather pensive."
I look up to see our keyboard player, Burton, throwing himself onto the bar-stool next to me before the bartender slides two glasses towards us.
"Nah, just tired. It's all been pretty hectic hasn't it?"
Burton just nods, taking a quick sip from his drink before gesturing over his shoulder towards Cam.
"He's gone, isn't he?"
"Completely. I'm thinking we should probably head back to the hotel soon."
Burton nods once more, not showing any sign of suspicion as to why I of all people want to turn in early, which is certainly not my style at all. We continue sipping at our drinks until we hit the bottom of our glasses and Burton leaves to go and find Dave and Mick, who have disappeared somewhere in the recesses of the club, leaving me no option but to finally face Cam.
He's still wrapped around the anonymous brunette, pawing unselfconsciously at her. Seeing him then actually causes me physical pain; I can feel my heart clenching tightly in my chest, as if urging me to turn away for my own good. I can't. It's almost a sort of morbid fascination that compels my eyes to remain fixed firmly on the sight of his golden dreadlocks and causes painful memories of the previous night to come flooding back into my conscience.
"Come on Barbie; you're completely gone."
Cam shifts his weight, leaning against me more and letting his head droop forward onto my shoulder while I begin patting at his back pocket in search of his room key.
"Mmm, that's right Lucas… Now bring them round to the front and to the right a little," he purrs into my ear, turning his head so that he can nibble on my ear-lobe.
"Cam… Come on, you're not exactly helping me here," I mutter, trying to pull the card-key out of his back pocket as he presses himself up against me. "Can you give me a hand and just lay off for a bit, please?"
"Well, once we get inside that room I'm sure I can think of many ways to help you out… And I'll certainly be wanting to give you more than just a 'hand'…" he chuckles lowly.
I roll my eyes, inserting the card-key that I've managed to extricate from his back pocket, and turning the door-knob. The door flings open under our combined weight and we tumble backwards into the room, Cam landing heavily on top of me. The glint in his eyes is perfectly wicked.
"Hmm, I can't say I object to this position, though I do always prefer it when you're on top. If I remember correctly, that's always been your favourite position too, hasn't it?"
I don't answer; can't answer. Instead, I shove him off me and stumble to my feet to shut the door behind us. When I turn back around, I find myself being pinned to the door, Cam holding me surprisingly strongly against the wooden door by the hips. He looks up at me with almost translucent blue eyes, kneeling before me in a way that makes my heart clench painfully in my chest. I open my mouth to protest but all that comes out is a gasp as Cam begins to tease my zipper down, his gaze still locked on mine. As he let my jeans fall to the floor, I begin to feel my knees going weak, my heart pounding frantically against my rib-cage like it's trying to leap right out of my chest. I can't stop my eyelids from closing themselves as I try to catch my breath.
"It's been a while, hasn't it Lucas?"
I open my eyes just in time to see him bury my half-hard cock into his mouth, tightening his lips around the base as he deep-throats me. He wraps one hand around the base as he begins to draw back, letting his hand follow his skilful mouth while he moves his other hand down to cradle my balls. I close my eyes again as Cam groans throatily around my erection. He has always known how to give the best blow-jobs. And after all this time, he still remembers exactly how I like it.
It doesn't take long until his actions cause all the built-up pleasure in the pit of my stomach to explode. I open my eyes and force myself to look down at him, warning him of my impending orgasm just in time for him to glance up and lock eyes with me as he swallows my entire load. As his throat muscles work away furiously, I let myself slump back against the door, my entire body still shaking from my powerful release.
Cam rocks back onto his heels to accommodate his own growing erection as he wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. His lust-filled eyes survey me as I let myself slide down to the floor, collapsing with my back against the wooden door.
"Cam…fuck…" I moan, my chest still heaving for breath.
"-Fuck, you say? Alright, just give me a minute," he grins lowly, his voice slightly slurred.
He rises to his feet and peels off his now exceedingly tight jeans, tossing them into the corner as he pads half-naked into the bathroom. I remain slumped against the door, catching my breath as Cam patters around the bathroom. After what seemed like hours, I finally rise to my feet and quietly walk over to the bathroom, peering my head around the door.
He lies passed out on the marble floor of the bathroom, right next to the toilet, his golden dreadlocks splayed around his head. With a sigh, I scoop him up in my arms as much as possible before wobbling unsteadily towards his bed. Yanking his t-shirt up over his head, I draw the covers back and carefully drop him into bed. Tucking the covers around him, I hesitate before finally letting myself do what I'd been wanting to for so long. Leaning down to place a kiss on his cheek, I close my eyes and whisper, "I love you, Cam."
"Lucas, you're no fun…" Cam sighs as I prop him up against the wall, trying to unlock his room for him.
"Cam, just humour me tonight, alright? You're fucked out of your mind and we have a busy day tomorrow."
"Fucked out of my mind? Hmm, not yet anyway… Not that you even gave me a chance back there," Cam mutters, somewhat reproachfully.
"I know you get horny when you're drunk, Barbie, and I didn't want to spend tomorrow morning having to help you deal with some random girl you've screwed," I say simply, finally shoving the door open and propping it ajar with my foot as Cam slings his arm around my shoulders and allows me to help him in.
"Like I said, it's not as though you gave me a decent chance," he grumbles, landing on the bed with a muffled 'thump' as I shove him towards it.
"Shut up Cam- just…just go to sleep," I sigh, trying to ignore his intense gaze as he sits up and begins to peel his shirt off his lean-muscled body.
I manage to swallow down the lump in my throat and turn my back to him, beginning to retreat out of the room before I do or say something stupid. I don't get very far though; as soon as I mumble a goodnight at Cam over my shoulder and have taken a couple of steps, I'm stopped by the sound of his silky, slurred voice.
"Lucas, I need you."
I have to turn to look at him, regretting it instantly. The sight of him propped half-up on his elbows, shirtless and sporting a very obvious hard-on is not doing any favours to my heart, which begins to race dangerously fast in the cavity of my chest. I can't help but soak in the sight of him, appreciating every inch of his smooth skin that's exposed to me.
"Come here, Lucas."
I begin to walk back to him, almost mindlessly, as though in a trance. His voice is seeping with lust and desire, and it isn't exactly something that I can resist. I can't think what person in their right mind could resist that velvety tone of his or manage not to be trapped by his vivid eyes. It's at that point that I realised how much of a hold he has over me, and how he always has done. It has always been Cam for me; there's just no one else in the world quite like him. As I succumb to his seductive gaze, spreading out next to him on the bed and letting his fingers prise my shirt apart, I realise that I'll never be able to escape this or the feelings I harbour for him. I'll always feel that painful tug in my chest whenever he looks at another girl or guy the way he used to look at me, instead seeing me now as a stepping stone to his sexuality, while never realising that he's the base of mine.
My eyes fall shut suddenly, my body surrendering itself to the skilled precision of his mouth as it ghosts over my body while his hands begin to unravel me, peeling off garments and pushing aside cloth. I start to lose myself to it, to the urgent rhythm of Cam's motions, feeling that tug at my heart with every tug that he issues to my cock. Trying to reassure myself, I remind myself to enjoy it, that this is as close as I'm ever going to get again.
AN2: There you go! Please do let me know what you think by reading and reviewing. Thanks guys!