I've seen girls fall apart as they walk through the hallways. Their

skin and hair and souls fall away leaving a smear of

lost innocence all over the floor and a pile of glitter that will

be swept away and forgotten in the morning. I've seen lovers throw away every

opportunity that has ever presented itself for them to reach their personal dreams but

they put their futures on hold for the feeling, the rush

that they will lose in a week and always crave. I've seen smokers inhale nicotine and exhale love

while muscle heads look down upon them for being addicted to different things. The girls that are filled with glitter look for their ribs in the dingy public bathroom mirrors and wipe vomit out of the

corners of their mouths and

pray to be told they look beautiful today or that their fathers will at least

notice them and that they will find a boy that will buy them

Marlboro 100s and touch them in a way that

Everyone longs to be touched but no one ever is. I've watched winter come in through

the rearview mirror while they still played summer songs on the radio and while tan lines

still haven't faded. I've watched sadness appear on a face that I always believed to be happy

but now realize was always just good at hiding things, hiding everything. And I've seen bruises become beauty and art upon alabaster skin and red lips that leave stains on coffee cups that

leave rings on oak tables and oak tables that are crafted from the hands

of that girl with the over-exposed ribs father. His eyes focused on the grain of the wood and the

polish. I've seen the look in green eyes while a boy fell in love. I've held hands under the stars and felt a heart race under thin skin. I've heard someone cry so beautifully that it felt like my ventricles, capillaries, arteries had spilled all over the floor swept clean on teenage glitter and ardor and arrogance. I've heard people brag about sex. Fruitless, loveless, hot, sweaty sex. Filled with passion and youth and the danger and sureness that it will never end. I've seen the loss of innocence. I've felt alcohol surging through my veins and I've felt weak. My fingers pressed against my eyelids so that I could see

fireworks beneath them, under the covers when I was a little girl. I've seen best friends lose each others' phone numbers and forget each others' birthdays. I've seen boys look for girls with blonde hair, small waists, and smooth skin- ignoring the practicality of unconventional beauty. Glitter girls have spoken to me, ones that want to be kissed in the rain and marry

their prince who will take them away

to a different town, one that they don't hate

one that isn't boring. I've seen people grow up too fast and die too young.

I've seen the beauty in ugly things and stayed up all night reading and lived and truly lived and fallen in love and fallen into lies and I've fallen asleep outside in the middle of the heat of summer and the heat of the moment I have said things that I didn't mean and I have said things that were profound that I don't remember and that I wouldn't understand and I've laughed so hard that tears have ran down my cheeks and

I have burst into glitter once or twice.