|The Man Whore, The Jerk, and The Class Clown
Author: EternalDarkAngel PM
THATS IT! I'M THROUGH! Zack, Taylor, and Jeff think they can treat women anyway they want and that everyone should bow down to them because they're majorly hot and super popular. Well not me! They're gonna learn their lesson and baby I'm the teacher. ;Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 42,840 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 09-23-12 - Published: 07-18-11 - Status: Complete - id: 2934288
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Dum. Dum. Dum. I'm back and I'm better than ever! Okay I might not be better than ever but I'm back and I'm gonna finish everything! School sucks what else is new? And you are getting a sequel to this story YAYYYYYY! So I'm happy because of ice and Dr. Pepper but on to the personal reviews and yes this is the last chapter :( I hoped you loved Courtney's journey and if not: Who really gives a damn? Not this kid ;-) And If I missed any reviews feel free to message me about what a jerk I am and here we go:
SimplyBeingMe: I'm updating! I'm updating! Don't kill me! Lol just kidding but here you go love.
BananaShoulders: Truly one of the best reviewers ever. I have to say I love you and don't think I forgot you still have a part in the sequel which I will be posting today woohoo!
Rachel: Aww thank you Rachel ;-)
ixdookiie: Ikr. Lisa is one seriously crazed up fruit loop but oh well.
sailorswwetart: "Courtney should kill her." LMFAO at that! No Lisa is a lot more fucked up than that.
MentalBrink: Hey you! Remember me? You need to update or I'm not marrying you don't think I forget about things like that just because oh six or seven years has passed since I updated. P.S Write more songs I need good music to listen to :-(
And BAM I'm done whoop whoop. On to the story.
"And I was like baby, baby, baby ohhhhh-OUCH!" was how my wonderful sentence ended due to the fact that Alison, Zack, Taylor, Kristen, and Jeff threw their pillows at me. Yes Jeff has converted to the good side after he told us about how Lisa cut him with her acrylic nails because he happened to dump her crazy ass just days before Prom. If you wanted to know Ruby and Benjamin are here too cozying it up along side Pop Tart who seems to like Ruby for some odd reason.
Mom and Heidi are out with my dad dancing to old people music. That's a threesome just waiting to happen. Kidding. OKAY I'M KIDDING you know I wasn't the only one thinking it. Anyways we were planning OPERATION: BRING THAT BITCH DOWN! Although no one wanted to go with the code names I've given them.
Alison: Rainbow Swirl
Zack: Newly Reformed Manwhore
Taylor: Pink Piston
Kristen: (Who's not evening coming to Prom but she needed a code name too) The Swedish Dino
Jeff: Castration Man
Me: The Boy Trainer
Seriously? These are freaking awesome names! But no they all just gave me the evil eye when they read it. But whatever it's cool. Anyways Kristen finally started calling me by my actual name and not Megan. I'm so proud of her. And I'm going to spend summer with my Dad before heading off to college. Fun fun.
"Courtney!" Alison screamed. I looked up at her simmering red face.
"Yes?" I asked hesitantly.
"Get your head out the clouds and pay attention."
I saluted her. "Ma'am yes ma'am. Paying attention ma'am!"
I glue my eyes to the sheet of paper we have diagrammed out where the projector would go to reveal Lisa's dirty little secret. We even have background music. You know that song, "Secret." Yeah that one. Trust me you wouldn't want to hear ahem Lisa's background music. It was like watching the two girls one cup video all over again. Don't judge me it was a dare, and I threw up because of it. So we might all be risking facing detention or even worse not graduating but we figure they can't let seven Seniors not graduate can they? We hope not otherwise this is really gonna suck.
"Okay," Taylor explained clasping his hands together, "When she's announced Prom Queen Benjamin is gonna rig the projector to fall and Ruby is going to use my laptop to play the video." He glanced up at Ruby with burning blue eyes. "I cannot stress this enough. You break my laptop, which is brand new by the way, and I will be forced to drown you in the punch bowl. Now video goes to video and analog to analog-"
She waved him off. "White and white and yellow and yellow and red and red geez I'm not that dumb." She stuck her tongue out at him and went back to stroking Benjamin's head.
Taylor rolled his eyes and continued. "Alison block the far east exit, Zack you made sure Mrs. Grace is chaperoning?"
Zack grinnied evilily and flashed a thumbs up. "She said she wouldn't miss it for the world."
Taylor grinned back and pounded Zack on the back. "Good. Zack you're keeping a watch on Mrs. Grace and blocking the far west exit. Jeff you have the main entrance where they're doing ticket drop offs. Just flirt with the girl who's collecting tickets and you should be fine."
Jeff smiled. "On it bossman."
"Good. Courtney and I are gonna keep a watch on Lisa and make sure she does nothing to screw this up. Everyone got it."
We all nodded except Kristen who looked down abjectedly. Taylor caught sight of her and placed a hand on hers. "Almost forgot Kris. You have the most important job of all. Parking lot just in case anyone escapes. Since you can't come in the dance there's no reason why you can't just chill in the parking lot. And don't take any brownies from the kids with dread locks."
We all sniggered while Kristen just nodded happy to be apart of OPERATION: BRING THAT BITCH DOWN! Ruby and Benjamin sneaked off downstairs saying they would sleep on the couches in the living room, Zack and Alison crashed in the guest room or rather should I say Alison's temporary room, Pop Tart contented himself to following Ruby, and Jeff grabbed his pillow and blanket and passed out on the cushy carpet of the hallway. What was surprising was that he was sharing his spot with Kristen. Taylor and I edited Lisa's video in my room while the other's snored away.
"Excited?" Taylor asked with one raised eyebrow as he took note of my erratic bouncing.
I nodded eagerly muting the original sound and adding in our song. We finished the video at around five in the morning and crashed from exhaustion. I woke to the smell of cinnabon coffee and (God I was hoping) fresh out of the oven glazed doughnots. I looked to the side and Taylor had his eyes rolled up at the ceiling grimacing in pain.
I laughed. "What's wrong with you?"
His stomach growled. I understood. "Five more seconds of you sleeping and I would have left without you."
I stretched and we made our way to the kitchen nearly tripping over Kristen and Jeff who were still sleeping even though it was about one thirty. Ruby and Benjamin were up along with Alison and Zack who looked to be hoarding three boxes of doughnuts.
"Mineeeeeeeeee," Zack hissed pulling the boxes closer to him. Alison shuffled closer to him prepared to aide him if anyone of us got within two feet of their precious doughnuts. At this moment they reminded me of Gollumn both with sticky outy hair and squinted eyes holding onto a box of doughnuts.
Ruby rolled her eyes as if to say, "What did I ever see in him?" and turned her beloving gaze back to Benjamin as she said to us, "We bought more. Benjamin's mom owns the bakery in town. They have like five more boxes up there." She pointed to our marble countertop to the five white boxes of doughnuts. I grabbed one and poured myself a cup of coffee that Ruby gratefully made and relaxed in the recliner. Today is going to be a very blissful day. Rugrats was on, the doughnuts were fantastic, and today was the day of Prom.
It didn't take long for Jeff and Kristen to wake up. They grabbed their own little box and disappeared making their way to the vineyard. Ruby and Ben left after two hours. Ruby claiming that it was gonna take the entire day for her to pamper herself for Prom and Benjamin following her like the little lovesick puppy he was. Kristen left to do chores and Jeff left because Kristen left. Mom came back hungover along with Heidi and Dad, and they're now snoring peacefully on top the kitchen table with three bottles of water and Advil by their sides. I guess all the parenting wore them out. I went upstairs to take a shower and came down just in time to get ready for our appointment at Arie's. And let me tell you it was a mess. Girls were everywhere. They covered every inch of the pink and white tiled floor.
Arie gave me one very pissed off look and gestured to a short girl with a black bob haircut. "Do you see Fiona? That bitch is gonna make me kill her. She dyed some poor girl's hair black when I clearly said dye it midnight. How in the hell do you pass cosmetology school when you don't know the difference between black and midnight?" He shook his head and gestured toward the two of us. Kristen came in a little later. Arie scratched something on a penicl and handed Alison and Kristen over to the twins Mellie and Mellee. And it's pronounced Mel-lie and Mel-E. Funny I know. I got the best, Arie himself. He walked me over in all his leather zebra pants glory to a high pink chair and tilted it back until I was facing the purple flourescnet lights above me.
"So cupcake," he said while sprawing my hair with lukewarm water, "word on the street is you are beefing with some blonde hootchie named lemme see," he tapped his green painted fingernails against his temple. "Lana, Lilly, Lisa. LISA! That's it. You're beefing with some girl named Lisa."
I sighed appreciatively as he washed my hair. "Mhmm."
"Mhmm? That's all you gotta say is mhmm? Girl you better tell me what's going on or you'll walk out here a hot mess."
I giggled. "To make a long story short she think she's the stuff even though she's not."
Arie rinsed my hair and started raking a comb through it murming his agreement. The twins were already done putting Kristen and Alison underneath the dryer and went on to paint their toes and nails. It must have taken at least an hour and Prom didn't start until eight. But when we were through we looked... well pretty fucking hot if I do say so myself.
We made it back home in record time due to the fact that Alison floored it at oh 90 mph back home. Enough to kill us and send Kristen and I flying through the windshield. I dashed upstairs and tossed Prom dresses to Kristen and Alison. I stripped down and caught a strapless bra in midair tossing it to Kristen while Alison sent mine flying at me.
Kristen looked a lot like Heidi when she was all made up. She had a baby doll white dress with tiny silver beads embroided across the top. Her hair was straightened and tied in a high ponytail and her shoes made me want to give her a big high five. White converse. How amazing!
Alison on the other hand. Well everyone knows she has wacky outfits but this worked. Not saying her other outfits didn't work but she really did look beautiful. It was bright yellow with blazing orange swirling at the top of the dress. With her fiery red hair poofed up at the top she resembled the sun. Her freckles stood out as she smiled almost appearing to glow with warmth.
As for me well the way Alison and Kristen gushed I must have looked pretty decent. I mean my dress was fabulous thanks to my fashionistas. It was two pieces. Rich black silk that covered everything except my midrift and the bottom portion trailing down the floor with a slit going up the thigh.
Heidi and Mom came up next both sporting sticky outy hair and puffy eyes. "Oh darling," Mom said hugging me with red rimmed eyes. "You look beautiful and Kristen and Alison very picturesque."
Heidi smiled at her mini me and gave Alison a wink. She turned to me and eyed the dress.
"Too much?" I asked twirling.
Heidi rolled her eyes playfully. "You're beautiful now hush and let's get all three of you in a picture." She squashed us together putting me being the shortest in the middle while Alison and Kristen flanked my sides. She snapped several pictures and was going for more when the doorbell rang. Taylor, Jeff, and Zack waited outside and can I just say the former Manwhore, Jerk, and Class Clown cleaned up really really well. And who knew Zack could pull off a burnt orange tuxedo. He had his hair slick back with gel and together he and Alison could have been the brightest couple on the planet.
Jeff had on dress pants a clean shirt with his signature cap. He grabbed Kristen by the hand, gave us a wink, clipped something to her dress, and hauled it into his car with a, "We'll be there in time for the big fiasco."
And I'm being biased when I say this but Taylor looked the best. He's my boyfriend I can't help it. Basic black tux was all he needed that and he happened to be wearing a killer smile. He placed a corsage of tiny blood red roses on my wrist and we all piled into the vehicle before Heidi and Mom could take more than three pictures.
"No limo?" I asked laughing.
The three of them rolled their eyes. Alison laid her face on the back of my headrest and boinged one of my wavy curls. "Excuse her guys she's never been to Prom. Limos aren't cool anymore."
Oh. Well this was news to me. Apparently a BMW beats a limo anytime. I was literally on Cloud 9 when I handed my ticket to some freshman girl. Jeff was already seated beside her winking at us as we clambered on by. Taylor pulled us to the side and put black clip on earrings on both my ears and did the same with Alison. I gave him a perplexed look. He exhanged glances with Zack, and Zack pointed to Alison's corsage.
"Good you gave it to her," he said.
I looked at Alison and she shrugged. Taylor spoke into the rose that was pinned to his shirt. "Testing, testing, can you both hear me?" The earrings we wore reverberated the sound.
"Spy gear?" I asked. Taylor winked. "Awe-some." I lifted my wrist and whistled into my corsage that made everyone wince and made Jeff utter a big, "HEY!"
"Whoops," I said.
"Don't make it look so obvious Court," Zack advised.
Alison smiled and gave us high fives. "Stations are a go! OPERATION: BRING THAT BITCH DOWN IS IN MOTION!"
Taylor took me by the hand, slow dancing with me as we both tilted our heads searching for Lisa.
"Icky is by the punch bowl. I repeat Icky is by the punch bowl," I heard Alison's voice ring in. They may not have liked the nicknames I gave them but they loved Lisa's. Taylor spun me around so we were both facing the punch bowl. Sure enough Lisa was their grumbling to Chasity and some other girl.
"Hi guys!" I heard my earpiece ring. "It's us. Ruby and Benjamin. Setup is finished."
Taylor leaned his head down brushing his lips against my ear. I wasn't aware of the fact that Lisa had her eyes glued on the both of us. Nonchalantly he hovered his lips right beside his rose which was by my ear. "Good," I heard him say, "Right when Principal Macintosh announces the King and Queen let it rip and Ruby-"
"White with white and yellow with yellow and red with red!" she screeched causing some painful looks and another loud, "HEY!" from the main entrance.
"Okay no need to cause permeanant deafness. She should be up there in about two minutes."
Sure enough within those two minutes Principle Macintosh was on stage in a purple length gown. I looked at the far east exit. Alison was gripping the handle to the door tightly. Taylor looked at me, and I nodded. I set my gaze upwards consulting God or better yet the twinkle lights that hovered from the ceiling to please let this work.
"Students welcome welcome! I'd like to present your King and Queen and this year's Prom theme, which is Fire and Ice." That would explain the shining flames everywhere and the twinkle lights, and probably the fog machine. Get it? Because fire and ice makes steam. Don't get it? It's okay took me awhile too.
"And your King is Peter Mulvech." I peered over as some brawny good looking boy made his way to the stage.
"Go babe!" I heard Lisa's voice ring out loud and clear. So she did have a date after all.
"And your Queen is..." The projector came down and Lisa started to saunter forward. I grinned in satisfaction. "Courtney?" The principal looked at me almost as if to say, "When did you stop being ugly?"
My grin faded as I trudged on stage to accept the diamond metal crown.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Lisa wailed running upstage. Her too tight dress split right up the middle but she didn't seem to notice as she tackled me to the ground trying to rip the crown from the roots of my hair.
In my haste of fighting with Lisa I didn't hear the audience suck in a giant breath and the music.
"Oh my," Principle Macintosh gasped gazing at the projector. At this point Lisa decided to look up and her eyes got huge. I mean really really huge.
"So I get an A if I do this right?" came Lisa's whiny voice.
"Of course dear," assured Mrs. Grace.
"Why are you taping it?"
Mrs. Grace winked. "I want to be able to watch it later."
Lisa giggled. "I better get an A plus then."
I'll spare you the gory details of what happened next. I used this precious moment to declaw myself from Lisa. Lisa set blazing eyes on me.
"You're fucked," she hissed.
I took a step back. "And you're freaky."
There was a scuttle in the far west side of the gym. Mrs. Grace was scrambling to get out of Zack's embrace.
"Hold it Donna Grace!" Principal Macintosh bellowed into the microphone. She looked really pissed too. Like smoke coming from her ears pissed. Zack scooped up Mrs. Grace and carried her to the stage. "Coach Frank alert the authorities! EVERYONE OUT!" I started to sneak out but Principal Macintosh's gaze stopped me. "YOU!" she barked, "AND YOU!" she pointed to Lisa. "STAY PUT!"
Uh oh. She grabbed us both and ushered us to her office along with a bunch of other teachers. For a long time she glared at me, Lisa, and Mrs. Grace. Finally she spoke. "I don't even know where to begin!" she shouted. Just then some officers shuffled into the room. Principle Macintosh gave them the throwaway USB we had uploaded Lisa's dirty movie on. She waved dismisively at Mrs. Grace. "Get that woman out of my sight!"
One of the officers apprehended Mrs. Grace. Principal Macintosh looked at Lisa furiously. "You, I'm calling your parents, and I'm going to strongly suggest to them that they send you to a youth correctional center, have you tested, take some behaviorial classes, and prescribe you with some medication because for you to do what you have done with Donna was beyond idiotic. I can't stress enough to you how much humiliation you have placed on this school and yourself as well. You, young lady, are expelled. Not for sleeping with the teacher, mind you, but for using sex as a tool to get good grades. Tell me were there any others or do you just prefer women?"
Lisa sneered. "No bitch it was just her. And I was tired of this fucking school to begin with."
Principal Macintosh didn't even flutter. She just crossed her arms. "Very well then. Courtney how did you get that tape, and what posessed you to broadcast it to the entire school and tell me who else was involved because I know it wasn't just you." Her steely gaze bored into me.
"It was just me," I said quietly staring down at my hands. "Lisa and I were fighting, and I thought it would be a good idea to show everyone her sex tape at school."
"You do know I can expel you, and you won't graduate right?"
Can you blame me for crying at this point? No you can't. "Yes ma'am."
"My god what a baby. It's just school," Lisa sneered again.
I stood from my seat and decked her. You can understand why I'd be pretty put out at the moment. She's been so damn annoying I figure I'm going to get expelled anyway might as well live in the moment. Since I'm not a very big fan of YOLO. I went to hit her again but Coach Frank was holding me.
"Enough! Courtney refrain from hitting Lisa. Now sit so we can discuss your punishment." I took my seat and watched blood spill from Lisa's lip. "You're cleaning the entire gym, and I want a ten page essay on why it's not right to expose someone's personal buisness. Now everyone get the hell out of my sight."
Lisa jumped up mascara stains inking down her face. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Frank escort Lisa home."
Compared to Prom everything else was pretty dull. I cleaned the entire gym, and I even decorated for graduation with the help of some amazing friends. Lisa is now at some special school for kids with emotional issues. My essay was pretty amazing, and according to Principal Macintosh I could be a writer someday. Mrs. Grace is in jail (no big surprise), and let me tell you Lisa was not the only one. She had other girls from previous schools. In the end I got rid of the Slut, Converted the Man Whore, Opened the Eyes of the Class Clown, and made the Jerk become my Boyfriend but my story is far from over because there are more boys I can train. ;-)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm DONE! YEAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse the over enthusiasm for my excitement. Ready for the Sequel? I am. Courtney's story will never end...unless I mysteriously die. The Boy Trainer is here to stay!