|Um Shit I Need A Title Woah, Cool!
Author: Courage of Billy Batson PM
ITS THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! SAVE YOURSELF! hey, wait for me!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,087 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 08-21-12 - Published: 07-30-11 - id: 2938265
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
THE CHAPTER WHERE SOMETHING HAPPENS
I'M JUST KIDDING, NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN
"Wait… did Megan just die?" Adam asked.
"Hey, get back in my portable torture room!" Adriana yelled.
"Ugh, fine." Adam said, rolling his eyes. "Sorry guys, I have to go."
"Yay!" Chris said excitedly.
Adam sighed and walked out of the house.
"So what do we do now?" Decapitated Zombie asked.
"Well, since I'm obviously the brains of the team, I'll figure that out."
"Brains?" Stereotypical Zombie asked, walking in.
"Shut up, Stereotypical Zombie! You're dead!" Chris said.
"Brains brains brains brains! Brains brains…"
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Chris said, running over to Stereotypical Zombie and hugging him. "What you just said was the most sad and beautiful thing I've ever heard!" He sighed and stopped hugging Stereotypical Zombie. "But you're still dead."
"Brains…" Stereotypical Zombie said, dying.
"Okay… that was weird…" Decapitated Zombie said.
"Hey guys, I'm back from the most awful torture I've ever experienced in my life!" Adam said, walking into the house covered with cuts and bruises.
"That was fun." Adriana said, walking in behind Adam. "Although I didn't really do that good of a job. If I had done better, he would be crawling in here yelling about sunshine and rainbows."
"Guys, we need to focus." Adam said. "So Adriana is supposed to destroy the world, right? So how do we stop it?"
"Well, obviously we kill Adriana." Chris said.
"Yeah… if any of you tried that, you'd be dead in less than .000000001 seconds." Adriana said flatly.
"Okay… so what if we destroyed the world before she could get to it?" Chris suggested.
"Can someone just get him to shut up?" Decapitated Zombie asked. "I mean, seriously. This guy is probably the stupidest person I've ever met."
"And we can't forget the fact that we have a mole." Adam pointed out.
"Yeah… because that totally isn't me…" Adriana said nervously. "Why don't we talk about something else?"
"Well, we probably could stop the prophecy from happening by getting The Zombie Who Can Stop Prophecies to help us."
"And where is this NBO exactly?" Adam said. "Yeah, you probably forgot that it was offensive to say zombies! What do you think happened to Homeless Man between these two chapters? He was killed because he was a lifeist asshole!"
"The NBO is in the secret NBO HQ." Decapitated Zombie said.
"Let me guess. We're going to have to have a giant search to find someone who knows where it is and then have a giant and overly complicated plan to sneak into it?" Adam guessed.
"Well, we could do that…" Decapitated Zombie said, "Or I could just tell you and use me to trick the other NBO's into letting us in."
"But that's so easy!" Chris said, pouting. "You're no fun."
DOES ANYONE CARE THAT MEGAN DIED?
YEAH, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M LAUGHING
"Hey guys!" Decapitated Zombie said to the NBO guards, being carried by Adriana.
"Oh, hey there, Decapitated Zombie!" they said. "Although we really have no idea why we know your name is Decapitated Zombie, considering we only knew you before you were decapitated…"
"Well, could you guys just open the doors for me?" Decapitated Zombie.
"Well, what about the human holding you?" one of the guards asked. "Should we let her in too, even though humans are never allowed in our secret NBO HQ?"
"Well, of course you should let her in!" Decapitated Zombie said.
Adriana rolled her eyes and dropped Decapitated Zombie. "Screw this." she said, pulling out her patented Zombie Killer 2000.
"Ow!" Decapitated Zombie yelled. "You dropped me!"
"Done!" Adriana said, stepping over the two dead bodies and pushing the door open.
Chris and Adam walked out from a tree that they were hiding behind, because they were trees around the HQ.
"Wait." Adam said, glancing at Adriana. "You had an NBO killer this whole time and didn't tell us?"
"Well, I only use it in the most extreme situations!" Adriana said. "It was made by incredibly lifeist people. The name has… THE Z WORD!"
"God, Adam, why are you so stupid?" Chris said, rolling his eyes.
The group walked into the HQ. They were in a giant hallway, with a throne at the end of it and other stuff that I'm too lazy to describe.
"Hello." Leader Zombie said, smiling. "I've been waiting for you."
"Really?" Chris asked. "You've been waiting for us for eight chapters? Wow, you must have a lot of patience…"
Leader Zombie rolled his eyes. "God damn, you really are that stupid. I thought that Gossip Zombie was just exaggerating."
"I never exaggerate!" Gossip Zombie said. "Also, did you hear about what happened with Girl Zombie and Boy Zombie? They finally got together! But then they were sent to guard this place and Adriana killed them…"
Leader Zombie groaned. "Guys, can we focus on what's important? Like, the fact that I knew you would come for The Zombie Who Can Stop Prophecies. So I decided to prepare. You see, The Zombie Who Can Stop Prophecies's full name is The Zombie Who Can Stop Prophecies Only Once. And there's a prophecy that I'm going to get acne. Acne! I can't have that happen! So I'm going to get The Zombie Who Can Stop Prophecies to stop that prophecy. And if you took him and stopped some stupid prophecy about the entire world being destroyed, then I would get acne!"
"But… you'd die with everyone else when the world's destroyed before you got acne." Adam pointed out.
"STOP RUINING MY PERFECT LOGIC!" Leader Zombie yelled. "Anyways, your plan was doomed to fail from the start."
"Why? Because our team consists of an idiot, a psychopath, a head, a loser and a dead slut?" Adam guessed.
"What? No! That's literally the perfect team! The reason it would've failed is because I have a mole on the team!"
"Yeah… because the mole totally isn't me…" Adriana said nervously.
"Well, yeah, because you aren't." Leader Zombie said.
"Wait, what? Then who am I a mole for?" Adriana asked. "I mean… I'm not a mole for anyone!"
"The mole is… DECAPITATED ZOMBIE!" Leader Zombie said dramatically.
"Oh my god!" Chris said, shocked. "You mean that the zombie that we decapitated and then continually insulted is actually working for the zombies? This makes no sense!"
AN: So, because I've really lost inspiration for this story, I'm going to be finishing it soon; probably next chapter, or the chapter after that. But thank you all for reviewing :D.