UNTITLED

He wanted to do what she wanted him to,

It's easy to say but not easy to do

When everything's straining to scream, 'Hey screw you!'

At the woman who makes his beloved so blue.

The first time it happened he thought he'd misheard

For she certainly had an intense way with words

Plus a penchant to use them with surgical skill

To cut down her daughter when drunk to the gills.

But M told him it wasn't as bad as it sounded,

His worry her feelings were hurt was unfounded,

'She hasn't a clue what she's talking about.'

But the more she assured him the more he had doubts.

Afraid he would meddle she soon made him swear

That he'd keep his nose out of her family affairs

And he wanted to do what she wanted him to

But it's easily said, not so easy to do.

One night in July they were both at M's flat

Hanging out in her room, chilling out on the mat

While she showed him the trunk that she'd always kept locked,

Full of pictures and keepsakes and people she'd lost.

There behind plastic windows where time couldn't fade them

The photos were bright as the day they were taken,

A river boat ride, a day out at the zoo,

Two girls on a see-saw, a splash at the pool,

A raft of school pictures, a sports day race won,

A man on a rope bridge, a happier mum.

A bucket and spade, a punctured balloon,

A handful of pogs in a times table tube,

A hunk of fool's gold, a penny squashed flat,

A slinky, a yo-yo, a child's denim hat

Jammed onto the head of a chubby brown bear,

A small silver bracelet, a lock of blonde hair.

She laughed when she called it her own treasure chest

For she knew it was junk, but to her it was precious;

Her sister had died and her dad left soon after

And all she had left were these tokens around her.

Isaac ached and he kissed her and vowed not to be

Just the last in a long line of sad memories.

Then her mother came home, they could hear her outside

Getting mad at her keys cuz she'd dropped them four times

And he wished they could stay in a world of their own

But her mum pissed him off and he might have a go

And he'd given his word so he pulled on his coat,

Checked the pockets for keys, his wallet and phone,

Then kissed her goodbye and said, 'Call if you need me.'

'You worry too much,' she teased. 'I'm just fine. Really.'

When he opened the door her mother fell in,

Curling her lip as she caught sight of him.

'Don't worry, I'm leaving,' he coldly informed her.

'I'll take that to mean you're done shagging my daughter.'

His answer was swallowed when M shook her head.

'She'll be fine just as soon as I put her to bed.'

'I'll put you to bed,' said her mum, all but snarling,

But M rolled her eyes, unfazed, muttering, 'Charming.'

'Don't get lippy with me, girl!' her mum fairly roared,

'Or I'll make you regret the day you were born!'

''Just like you do?'' she answered, a slip of the tongue

Which earned her a slap in the mouth from her mum.

When Isaac rushed forward, eyes blazing with rage,

Her mother looked scared that today was the day

That she'd pay for her sins, but M stopped him before

He could cause any harm to the bitch he abhorred,

Pushed him out to the landing then onto the stairs

And down to the ground floor to get some fresh air.

'I'm gonna kill her,' he promised her duly,

Kicking the wall to give vent to his fury.

'That's not gonna help me, just calm the fuck down.

Give it a while and she'll no doubt pass out.'

She winced as she spoke, her lip bleeding and fat,

And he lifted her chin to see if it was bad.

'I'm fine,' she assured him. 'I'm not,' he replied.

'I want you to come stay at my place tonight.'

'You're overreacting.' 'You're playing it down.'

'You promised me that you would keep your nose out.'

'Well I just changed my mind, M, I won't ignore this.'

'Well, you don't have a choice when you think about it.

Look, I don't want to fight, I'll just see you tomorrow.'

But when she retreated, she found that he followed.

'Where are you going? I told you I'm fine.'

'I'd rather be sure of that if you don't mind.'

She wondered why he even bothered to ask her -

She did, but he wouldn't take no for an answer.

When they got back upstairs the door had been locked

And her mum didn't answer the thunderous knocks.

M looked over at Isaac and down at her socks

Before kneeling to shout through the low letterbox.

'You can't leave me out here, I'm not even dressed!

I haven't got shoes on!' she cried in distress.

'Do you really expect me to sleep here all night?'

'Oi, come on, keep it down, luv, it's after midnight!'

'I'm sorry, Ms Stephens, it seems I'm locked out.'

The neighbour looked grim, 'What's your mother about?

You got somewhere to sleep if you can't get back in?

Hey, you been in a fight? You've got blood on your chin.'

'No, no, everything's fine, I've got somewhere to stay,

And the lip was an accident, just fell on my face.

Um, I don't suppose that you have some spare shoes?

The carpark gravel…' She was let in to choose.

The streetlamps leaked sulphurous pools on the road

And, as M chewed her nails, Isaac drove fast for home

Feeling fooled and frustrated and HATING her mum

And resolving that something would have to be done.

'I want you to think about living with me.'

She giggled and nearly fell back in her seat.

'You're out of your mind, I can't move in with you.

I'm only sixteen and, hello, still at school,

My jobs don't pay jack so I can't afford rent

Let alone other bills, it just doesn't make sense.'

'I've been paying the rent by myself up till now

And the gas and electric aren't high anyhow -'

'But I don't want to live off of you like with mum,

I want to be equal and chip in with funds.'

'But you wouldn't cost much and you know it's no trouble

To get you away from that bitch on the double.'

'Just unlock the door, Isaac, let's go to bed.

I don't want to say anything I'll regret.'

Something inside him billowed and burst,

Thoughts pouring out without thinking them first,

'I don't understand how you put up with her!

She treats you like shit and it isn't just words

Like you told me it was. M, she hit you tonight!

And you're carrying on like that crap is alright!

You can't see that she's trained you to cover her hide,

You lied to your neighbour without blinking an eye

And why would you bother if everything's fine?

She doesn't deserve you! Stop being so blind!'

'Will you leave it alone! This is none of your business!

You don't get a say! Just because you're a witness

You think that you know what it's like to be me

But you don't! You don't know! And it isn't that easy!'

She flip-flopped away and the bathroom door slammed,

While he wrenched off his coat and near broke the damned lamp.

So he opened a lager and smoked half a spliff

And knew it was time for them both to be honest.

'I'm sorry, I don't mean to get so wound up,

I hate it, is all, that you've got it so rough.'

He played with her hair while he talked to her back,

Tonight had been great till her mum turned it black.

She'd shown him her past though he'd never shared his

But she might see the light if he remedied this.

'And I do understand that it feels liked you're trapped

But I want you to know that it just feels like that

But that's not how it is and my offer will stand

For as long as it takes. Until you understand

that it's your choice to leave and you have it to make.

From the inside it seems there's no safe door to take

And experience has taught you you're all on your own

But you're not anymore. I just want you to know

That you're not anymore,' Isaac's voice had grown soft.

'I'll always be here for you. No matter what.'

M sighed and turned over, half blushing, half sad,

'I know what you mean but you can't promise that.'

She wished that he could but she knew, even then,

That she wouldn't believe he could know what it meant.

'When I was eleven,' he slowly began,

His hand creeping over the sheets for her hand,

'We lived out in Whitley, just me and my mum,

Never knew who my dad was or thought much of one.

Back then I believed it was normal for kids

To make runs to the dealer to score mum some whiz,

Or some pills, or some coke, or whatever she asked -

All that mattered to me was escaping her wrath.'

And by 'wrath' she could tell he meant more than he said

And her fingertips traced the fine scars on his legs,

And to say she was sorry did not seem enough.

How she hated his mum for her cruelty and drugs.

'I took care of myself and just lied to the school

If they happened to notice the holes in my shoes,

And I scrounged to survive while my mother got high

Cuz I just didn't know I had options in life.

I got out the hard way and that can be tough

So I promise you, babe, (even if we split up)

There's a place for you here - and don't talk about cost,

I could pay it ten times and it won't mean a toss

Next to having you stuck being treated like crap,

Cuz I'd give anything to keep you from that

And you'd do the same thing. If our roles were reversed

You wouldn't stand by and just watch me get hurt-'

'Please stop,' she shushed him, her hand on his cheek

And her thumb stroked his mouth while her eyes begged for peace.

'You don't know what it means to know you'll be there

And I'll keep it in mind but I'm just not prepared

To give up on mum yet. I'm all she has left.'

She looked sad as she said it but firm nonetheless.

'All I need from you now is your arms round me tight.

Let's forget all this crap,' she suggested. 'Alright?'

And he kept his mouth shut, though he had more to say

He could see that she'd had all the talk she could take.

She hissed when she kissed him but smiled and said, 'Worth it,'

Then pillowed her head on his chest and sighed. 'Perfect.'

AN: Longest poem I've ever written and it's obviously incomplete but would love to hear your thoughts on 'the story so far' so to speak. Hoped to write a poem as easy to read and understand, and hopefully as interesting to read, as a normal story - let me know how I've faired!