Author: SilentxLies PM
Lost in a place with an exit which is impossible to find, Kaiya has already spent two years of her life. When all she wants is to find something that is so well hidden that it cannot be found, will she keep going? Unsure about the rating, self-harm. Source background of cover: /image/dark-grungy-brick-wall-as-background-image-3335905Rated: Fiction T - English - Mystery/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,431 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 07-19-12 - Published: 08-17-11 - id: 2944076
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Where am I? It's dark and cold in here. I'm all alone, nobody is here to help me. How did I get here? Why am I here? What did I do to get myself into this mess? How am I supposed to get out? I no longer know. The only thing I know is that I hope I stay alone in here, since I don't want other people to go through this. Whatever this place is for, it scares me. I've spent my life in here for the last two years. Somehow I got used to it, but it doesn't make it better, just easier. The only things this place causes are illnesses and pain. The constant aching is a reminder. A reminder of where I am and my incapability to get out. I must have been moving towards this place, I just didn't know it beforehand.
People shouldn't come too close, because once you're sucked in, it's nearly impossible to get out. Especially on your own. When there are others there to help you, to offer a helping hand, they can pull you out. I've had company here occasionally, but someone always comes to pull the others out. Not me though and I do not have the strength to get out on my own. I need help that nobody is willing to provide me with. I can understand, you only do that for people you can't be without. When somebody reaches out and takes your hand, there is the chance of getting sucked in and that thought frightens people. However, it's pointless for me to think about these things, because whenever people seem to be willing to help me, they either get sucked in and have to be rescued themselves, or they only make it worse.
Instead of lifting my out of here, they push me down deeper, saying that if only I keep going on long enough, there will come an end. I have not found such an end yet though. How long do I have to keep looking to find that end? I hope I will be able to see the light at the end of this seemingly endless tunnel and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin once more. If only that would happen. If only I could make the pain go away. However, I cannot. There is nobody to show me the road that will lead to the exit of this place. All there is for me is endless darkness, a darkness which I can't defeat.
I'm not strong enough to fight this place off, but I'm not too weak to stop trying. I still have hope I might get out of here one day. All I have to do is keep searching. I have to keep looking for that exit. I'd rather keep walking and make it worse than stop walking all together, because stopping means no hope of getting out whatsoever.
A while ago I stopped walking, until someone forced me on. It was for the better. I don't want to stop walking, but my legs are exhausted and I won't be able to go on much longer. Please somebody, anybody, help me keep moving, for I won't be able to hold on much longer. My body and brain are at their limits. I have had enough. Not giving up on finding my way out has never been this hard. Whenever somebody actually does come close to help me out, I scare them off.
I am mad at myself for getting myself in and not being able to get out. My biggest mistake seems to have been trusting other people. Now, anybody who comes to close to me, or the truth of this place, I push away. They cannot know anything, because they'll only make it worse. All they do is tell other people. I try to tell them: "I told you, not someone else", but they all seem to be deaf. People are not meant to be trusted, they talk too much. Whether intentionally or not, they will tell others, others that were not supposed to know.
This is an awful game life has decided to play with me and I'm losing. Soon the exit will be closed and it will be checkmate for me.
Kaiya woke up with a jolt. She looked around and was somewhat relieved to see she was still veiled in darkness. She had not been found. She released a sigh and checked the bag placed beside her. Everything was still in there, which pleased her. She always checked her bag when she woke up, it reassured her to see nothing had been stolen. When no possessions were stolen, it meant that there was a possibility she was still alone. Standing up and looking around she suddenly hear a noise, a strangled cry. She knew exactly where the noise had come from and quickly grabbed her bag before running off in the right direction.
Once she reached the place she was running towards, she saw a girl, sitting on the floor. The girl looked frightened and tears were rolling down her cheeks. Kaiya carefully approached the girl.
'Hello?' she asked. The only response she got was a frightened look. Kaiya took in the girl's appearance. The girl had big, bright blue eyes and black hair to her shoulders. Her posture reminded Kaiya of her own before she got there. the age must have been approximately the same as well, thirteen years old. The girl stood up and Kaiya noticed she was rather short, only slightly taller than herself.
Kaiya herself was now fifteen years old. She had lost weight being in this place, though it wasn't all that much. She had ginger hair, which reached till past her shoulders. She was short for her age and not likely to grow a lot longer anymore. Her eyes were a grayish-blue and they were rather small. She was clever and could easily come up with plans. Her people skills weren't too good, especially after being in that place for two years.
When Kaiya decided the girl was not going to talk to her any time soon, she sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall, which consisted of mainly rock, with wooden beams placed alongside it horizontally and one vertically every five meters. The ceiling had beams across every five meters, some of them had hooks on them and Kaiya could only guess what they were for. She looked at the girl who looked back at her with suspicion evident in her eyes.
'Welcome to hell,' Kaiya greeted her, properly this time. the girl was still not talking and she stood still as a statue, only her eyes moving to observe every move Kaiya made. Kaiya heaved another sigh.
'Sit down and I'll explain everything to you.' When the girl made no move whatsoever, Kaiya started talking again.
'Alright, you can stand if you prefer that, but you might get uncomfortable after a while,' Kaiya shifted a little until she was completely comfortable with her position. 'This,' she said as she made a gesture to the corridor they were in, 'is hell.'
'I'm not dead,' the girl suddenly spoke.
'Neither am I, but if you ever spend two years in this place, like me, you'll start calling it hell as well,' Kaiya replied. The girl was silent and looked around while Kaiya continued.
'Anyway, this place is not a place where you want to be for a long time. I should know, I've been here a while. This place is a maze. And not just any maze, it's huge. I suspect it's underground, because it looks so much like a mine, but I can't be sure. Ever since I got here, I haven't seen the light of day. I suppose that's part of the reason you're frightened, am I right, because I look so pale? Well, I can assure you, I am not a ghost I am just as much alive as you are. Being in here has altered my perspective on life. It has also changed the way I treat myself. If you look in that new bag you got there, you'll find a number of items, but, more importantly, you'll find a note. Everybody's note is different, for it explains why you specifically are here. The end is always the same though. It tells you that there is only one way out of here, which is to keep moving on and on until you reach the exit. However, you can never reach the exit as long as you don't change something, something the creator of this maze wants you to change. You can find it in the letter, but trust me, it's not easy.'
'How can you be so sure it won't be easy?' the girl suddenly interrupted.
'It never is, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Now, let me finish. You have to change that certain thing about yourself and, if you do, you'll find the way to freedom, to the light of day. It's as simple as that.' Kaiya eyed the girl, 'Now I'm finished.'
The girl slowly lowered herself to the floor and took a look inside her bag. She smiles wryly, 'Personal belongings.' Kaiya only nodded while the girl took out an envelope. Kaiya smiled reassuringly at the girl before the latter opened the envelope at hand. She read the letter, more than once probably, judging by the time she took. The girl looked up from the letter, into Kaiya's eyes.
'My name is Helen and I'm sorry I was hostile before, I just have trust issues... anyway, I wanted to ask you, can I stay with you, for now?' Kaiya smiled softly at this. 'Of course Helen, it's been a while since I had someone besides myself to talk to. I'm Kaiya.'
The two girls smiled briefly at one another.
'Well then,' Kaiya started, 'let me explain the basics of how it works down here. The bags we have contains most of the stuff we need. Batteries for the torches and watches can be found when we need them. The same goes for food. Three meals per day, if you skip one, your choice. Showers can be found near most corners, they're quite decent actually, so are the lavatories. Those are the practical rules. Now, the personal rules. I haven't been around humans much the last few years, so forgive me for rude manners and being on edge all the time. Also, when I tell you I want to be left alone, leave me alone, ok?' Helen nodded and Kaiya smiled. 'Ok, let's go then.'
Kaiya stood up and offered Helen a helping hand. Helen looked at the hand reaching out to her and then looked up at Kaiya's face.
'Take it,' Kaiya suggested, 'You might regret it later if you don't.' Helen grabbed the hand tightly and got up. Both girls looked at each other. Helen asked what to do next and Kaiya gestured for her to start walking.
The girls walked for several hours before Helen stopped.
'What is it?' Kaiya asked worriedly, walking over to her.
'Nothing, I just need to rest a little. We've been walking for hours now.'
'Alright, fair enough. I can see the light of a bathroom just a little further, let's go there so we can fresh up,' Kaiya suggested.
'Sounds good, I could use a shower.' Helen smiled softly before both girls headed towards the bathroom.
While Helen went into the bathroom to take a shower, Kaiya checked her bag to see whether all was still there. She sighed in relief when she saw nothing was missing. Sticking her torch between the beams behind her, she took out a picture. One the picture was she herself, smiling happily, next to a pretty, slightly more mature girl, who also looked happy. They were hugging and appeared to be really close. As she was looking intently at the picture, tears started to form in her eyes. Those days were now gone, she doubted they'd ever come back and she was beyond hoping they would. Even if she could get out of that place, she would be so very different from who she was, the other girl in the picture wouldn't even recognize her. Kaiya wondered whether she would even remember her, she doubted it. It had been two years since they had last spoken and Kaiya hadn't even been given the chance to say goodbye. If the girl would remember her at all, Kaiya was sure those memories would be filled with hatred and resentment. The tears that had been forming started to fall. Kaiya cried in silence for a while, remembering the time when she had been together with someone she truly loved.
When Helen emerged from the bathroom, Kaiya's tears had dried and she had a blank look on her face, staring at the wall opposite her. She looked up at Helen and flashed a smile.
'I'm going to take a shower now, entertain yourself in the meantime,' Kaiya said and stood up.
'Ok,' was the only reply she got.
Kaiya stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. The white tiles and the dimmed light were enough to blind her. She took off her clothes and stepped under the hot shower. Using the soap and shampoo provided, she cleaned herself thoroughly before reaching into her bag. Most of the things inside the bag were either personal items or supplies needed to survive down there. However, Kaiya got two gifts, which were supposed to be used together. A sharp edged knife, and a knife sharpener, to keep it that way. She took the knife out and smiled. This was it, this was her escape from this place. There was one time each day where she would allow herself to let go of self-control and lose herself in the pain she desired so badly. She sat down in the corner of the shower, the hot water still running past her legs, preventing her from shivering. Bringing the knife down to her wrist, she relaxed. She let the knife sink into her flesh, converting her mental pain into physical pain. It was a sick pleasure. She removed the knife from her wrist and looked at the blood trickling down her arm. It was not enough. Letting the knife descend upon her wrist again, she felt less pain, for it always hurt less the second time. Double the amount of blood was now running down her limb, but it was still not enough to satisfy her. She cut herself again and again, until she felt that if she'd cut any more she'd pass out due to blood loss. All her old wounds were open yet again, which made her smile. The only time she smiled genuinely in this place was during the cutting. It made her feel like she was more than she actually was. It made her feel more powerful in a sense. Her entire life down in the maze revolved around this one time a day when she allowed herself to drown in pain and blood. The colour of the water on the floor was red, redder than usual. She had cut too much, she realized that now. She didn't panic, she never did. Starting to feel light-headed, she also started to cry again. She thought back of the picture, especially the other girl on the picture.
Right before she passed out due to the great amount of blood she lost, she whispered: 'Annabel, I love you...'
A/N: Could you please tell me what you thought? It would mean a lot to me.